RELATIONSHIPS | LIFE

I Feel Fortunate for the Bridges and Rivers in My Life

Take time to appreciate the good things

I feel lucky to live in a river town but it’s something I don’t always appreciate. The river’s always been there, and like those things that are so consistent in our lives, we take them for granted.

When I think about it, our area would be much more boring without the river. We wouldn’t have boat clubs, harbors, and docks, a riverboat casino, or a riverfront park.

The park is the place we go to set up lawn chairs for the Fourth of July. Crews light the fireworks from barges, and the river provides a fantastic backdrop for the colorful lights as they cascade down from the sky and shimmer over the black water.

Smart restaurant owners have taken advantage of the river views. They built along the banks, offering a unique place for people to dine. Boaters and jet skiers can dock to grab a burger and a beer. When I sit on the outdoor patios with a margarita in the summer, I feel a tropical vacation vibe, which breaks up the monotony of the workweek.

People aren’t the only ones who take advantage of what its banks have to offer. The eagles build nests high in the trees near the water. While they watch the choppy waves for fish, we watch and photograph them. It’s exciting when I spot their white heads and dark bodies floating high in the sky above the water.

Without the river, perhaps we wouldn’t even have a city here today. The river’s resources drew settlers. It provided fish and a way for boats to transport goods. Soon, businesses sprang up along the banks and the population grew.

A bridge connects us

Over time, a bridge was built to connect the lands. The bridge provided many more opportunities for people from the rural farmland to travel to the bustling city downtown for goods and entertainment.

Today, we have two major bridges that marry east and west.

I take these bridges for granted even though I drive across them five days a week on my way to work. It connects the small town I live in with the big city. Without that bridge, I’d be cut off from so much on the other side.

The city offers a state-of-the-art museum, a civic center for concerts and plays, restaurants and coffee houses, and unique shops. There are beautiful parks and architecture and lovely scenic drives.

Most importantly, on the other side are the people with whom I’ve forged friendships. And the bridge connected me to a man in the city who became my husband.

We’ve been married eight years now.

Ben gave me guitar lessons and we fell in love. Being a huge music fan, I was ecstatic to marry a touring musician. A new world opened up to me, one of being backstage at big-name band concerts when my husband’s band opened for them.

I’ve gotten to do many unique things being married to a musician. How many people can say they stood on stage with The Doobie Brothers while they performed?

Another highlight was going on a rock ’n’ roll cruise as a “plus one” (all expenses paid) and sitting in the artists’ dining area with Greg Allman, Ace Frehley, and Peter Frampton. Was I dreaming?

I went on tour with the band, riding in the van for 10 hours across several states. I’ve flown to meet them in New York and Florida. We celebrated our first anniversary in Times Square.

It was all very exciting in the beginning. Then, the newness wore off and we started taking each other for granted. Like the river, my husband was always there, and like the bridge I drove over every day as part of my morning routine, my relationship had become routine as well.

This, I know, is common in many relationships. That’s why people have affairs and get divorced. They’re longing for the excitement they once felt, but I’ve learned the newness wears off, so it’s an illusion. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Stop and smell the river

We have to stop and appreciate what we have. It’s important to stop and take stock of the good things in our lives. It’s also important to communicate as a couple and come up with things to do, things to share, to shake up the routine. Go on a date night. Go for a hike, or simply set aside an hour in your day to chat over coffee.

There are so many things I appreciate about my husband. He has a great personality and he’s a fantastic cook. Last night, I enjoyed homemade Mediterranean pizza, and the night before that, homemade ham and bean soup. Ben takes care of a lot around the house. He makes our yard look spectacular and I never have to worry about paying the bills. He takes care of all of that.

And then there are the little things that are easy to forget but they are equally as important. Like the way he comes in to kiss me goodnight when I go to bed. And the way he puts his hand on my leg in the car.

Most importantly, Ben loves me and accepts me for who I am. We made the ultimate commitment. Marriage is the bridge that connects us and our love is the river that flows beneath. We just need to make sure we’re taking the time to appreciate these things.

Thank you for reading my story! Thanks to Ellen Eastwood for the edits!