I Failed 3/4 Exams In My First Semester

This contributed to the steepest learning curve in my professional life

I ran out of the building. I needed to get away from work and uni. I just wanted to have some time to reflect on what actually happened.

What am I doing? Do I actually know that I have one more chance left? Why did I fail, again? Am I even able to pull this through? Should I see the plain obvious and give up my studies?

All these questions appeared in the back of my head, as I paced the lengths of the local park. It was probably the one moment in my life so far, I had felt utterly disappointed at myself. Disappointed at what I had done, or maybe at what I hadn’t done.

Failing that third exam out of four in that very first semester, I had two options.

I could give up or keep going.

You also have the same options in your life. For this very reason, I will share my story – a story that can also impact your life if you let it.

En route to failure
Failing an exam is painful
A choice, that affected my future career life
Lessons learned

En route to failure

“Finally a year of freedom!”, I said to myself after completing my A-levels in June 2017. I had big plans for 2017/18. My agenda was jam-packed with adventures:

Visit Wales to see my girlfriend for three months
Go on a big trip across Australia for six months on a work and travel visa
Start my three-year bachelor course in business informatics in September 2018

So it was time to enjoy the fun part of life. I worked for three months to finance Australia and New Zealand. And it was worth every cent I earned.

Returning from the big trip I was still in holiday mode for August 2018. It was, however, time to prepare for my course.

As the weeks past by in the new university, I was intrigued and interested but didn’t bother finding out all there was to know. I didn’t ask the right questions. Assuming others knew everything and were absolute geniuses, I refrained from asking seemingly stupid questions.

I was an optimist. And this time it was a harmful mindset to have.

My girlfriend was going through a tough time as well, so I also tried to help where I could. I hadn’t set out a plan of when I need to study and when to be there for her. That would be one of the reasons I failed so miserably in the first year.

Failing an exam is painful

So with my huge amount of optimism, thinking „It's going to be just fine“, I started the two weeks of exams. The first day the trains were on strike, so I took an E-bike to ride 35km one way to the exam. Luckily that was the one I passed. The others just didn’t seem to go that well. I had prepared for them with the easy questions assuming the teachers would be kind enough to help us pass all the exams in the first semester. That was wishful thinking. This was real life.

So starting in the practical phase of my studies in January of 2019 I knew, that I would need to retake Maths. When I learned, that I had failed Programming, Maths and Accounting my optimism slowly dissolved.

I remember the feeling I felt looking at the fail in accounting. I just told my project leader I needed some air. Sitting on the benches outside the office, I opened up to my God. He put me there for a reason and now he was challenging me. Seemingly beyond what I could bear.

The humiliation factor kicked in when I discussed the exams with others. Some said, „That was a dreadful exam, I will never pass“. And they magically top the class. I just feel horrible. And it‘s a feeling of worthlessness, a feeling of: “I’m not good enough.”

A choice that affected my future career life

So dragging myself home that day I poured out my thoughts to my family and then my girlfriend. I told them, how I thought the professors were wrong – surely, there was a mixup. But anyhow I had two choices. It was quite simple really.

I could quit – right then and study something else or look for a different job – or I could give my very best to pass those exams the second time around.

So I chose the only option, that really existed for me. I was going to give it 200%. My family did an amazing job backing me up. Without their support, I would not be writing this. And my father in heaven guided me through this tough time.

However, then the hard work started.

I learnt to code in Java within 8 weeks, assisted by my fellow students from the year above me. I met up with others, who had also failed maths and accounting and studied it like crazy. I went to separate sessions with a girl in my year, to improve my accounting knowledge.

It was tough. But I suddenly had this drive. It was all or nothing.

In our university, you always get two chances at writing and passing an exam. Once a year you are granted a third try – an oral exam. I had failed three exams. So if in my second attempt I failed just two again, I would have left that amazing course with no degree.

So studying for these subjects became part of my work life. My workplace offered me an amazing support network. It still amazes me to this day, how I could pull off what I did. But it all boiled down to getting a lot of people on board to help me pass those exams.

In March I wrote all those three exams again. I passed them all – way better than I had expected.

Lessons learned

Looking back it seems like a bad dream, that turned into a great reality. My life was turned upside down for a reason. I had to deal with disappointment.

We experience disappointment in every area of our lives. For you, it might not be of academic nature. Maybe it’s disappointment in your family or partner. Possibly you are disappointed at colleagues at work. But the key message is: We’re all disappointed at some stage in our lives.

What we need to figure out is easy to say on paper. But so much harder to do in reality. We need to figure out a coping strategy and create a vision of what our ideal life would be, without that disappointment.

Can you create that vision?

I was sitting down at my desk a few weeks after failing those exams, pondering what my life might be like. I tried to focus on the day, I received a bachelor degree. I set my eyes on the goal. And in the same way, a hurdle sprinter has to overcome obstacles in his race to the finish line, we face obstacles in our race of life. At all times remember to keep your eyes on that finish line.

I now also know, what it means to work really hard. It is not impossible. It's hard. But achievable. With my vision set, I could use all my energy and focus on finishing those exams better than before.

Looking back now, I can see the reason I had to go through this.

Empathy.

Yep, I can now feel for those who went through similar situations. I can feel for people, who lost their job, are disappointed by friends and family and struggle with getting ahead in life.

I can now also assist younger students at work with their issues. I tell them my story and they are motivated. Most of them don‘t fail 3/4 exams. “If I can do it, you can!”, I often tell them. So they are encouraged to try their hardest as well.

I think that‘s the reason we can all be united with one goal: To help others learn and benefit from our mistakes.

So this is the challenge for you, today: