I Escaped Reality
(and I couldn’t be happier..)
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I’m facing a dilapidated old house as I write this. The overgrown bushes and weeds are blowing softly in the morning breeze. The birds don’t seem to mind as they sing their own sweet songs to greet another day.
The ocean is two blocks away. If I step outside and stand on the porch, I can hear the waves crashing and smell the fresh ocean air that says only one thing..”I’m at my happy place, the beach!
As the day starts to unfold, the sky is beginning to turn a robin’s egg blue and I can hardly wait to take a morning walk to have a coffee in town.
The house I’m renting is small, old and a bit dark. The bathroom feels like a shoebox and I can barely turn around in the shower but I don’t care. I feel safe and at peace! You see, this is a solo retreat. I have been needing this for months and I cherish being in this 50’s style beach house.
It feels way too long since I’ve been able to just “be” and sit in the quiet, feeling the beat of my own heart. I decided spontaneously to have little contact with friends and family. Ok, I do admit to a text or two but all in all, I have chosen to be silent.
On the drive here I found it difficult to not call various people to engage and interact. Somehow, I knew, I did not want to let additional noise, other than my own thoughts sink in. I am very glad I listened to that inner voice calling…
I even came up with a game to play with my partner. When he calls today (he is the only person I will speak to), we will talk as if we have just met and are getting to know one another. There will be no talk of the house we moved in six months ago, the yard, the doors to be delivered and the bark dust.
Who knows what new things we will find out about ourselves and each other! Every relationship needs to be refreshed and energized or it can become stale and stagnant.
A creative person needs this time to silence the outside world, to let inner thoughts and ideas flow. I will allow myself to calm the chatter and hopefully will return a better partner and human, more patient, more kind and hopefully a better listener.
Right now my only job is to listen to myself and what my mind and body need in this time and space. This may sound like quite the indulgence to many of you and maybe it is to me as well. But in this crazy, mixed up world of noise, chaos and violence, I am long overdue.
I call it survival. Far better than any medication I could take and it is a complete get -a- way that many of us don’t allow ourselves.
Truly, I know I am most fortunate and grateful to be here.
In just a couple of short days away, I have given myself these precious gifts:
Spontaneity
Understanding
Ability to Let Go
Healing
Increasing Gratefulness
Discoveries of Self
Forgiveness of self and others
Time to practice my writing craft.
Being Present
Permission to flow with the rhythm of life.
It has taken many years to realize I am Worth it and I am Enough!
What about you? If you had 5 precious days to yourself, how would you spend them? Let me know in the comments if you so desire..
