avatarinthewaves

Summary

The author recounts a dream where their ex-partner silently apologizes and shows a desire to reconcile, which evokes mixed emotions and a realization of the need for closure and self-care.

Abstract

In a poignant dream, the author finds themselves on the verge of marrying an ex, only to be filled with doubts due to unresolved issues. The ex then appears, offering a silent apology through a comforting handhold, conveying remorse and a promise of improvement. The dream includes a montage of the ex's face, highlighting their complex personality and shared history, which stirs the author's lingering affection despite their wariness. Upon waking, the author grapples with the pain of unmet needs for an apology and reconciliation in reality. This prompts a moment of self-reflection and self-comfort, as the author acknowledges the importance of self-reliance and the commitment to self-care and personal growth.

Opinions

  • The author harbors unresolved feelings towards their ex, indicated by the emotional response to the dream.
  • There is a strong desire for closure, particularly in the form of a meaningful apology from the ex.
  • The dream suggests that the author values trust and emotional support in a relationship.
  • The act of self-comfort and self-apology signifies the author's recognition of self-worth and the necessity of self-love in the absence of external validation.
  • The author seems to be in a process of healing and moving forward, despite the lingering attachment to the past relationship.

I Dreamed Of My Ex the Other Night

He silently apologized and held my hand

Photo by bruno costa on Unsplash

I dreamed of being close to marrying my ex.

I think there was even a dress, a pink one (not a particularly appealing one, to be honest), and my grandma in the background: was she fixing it?

However, something bad and major had happened, and I felt like I couldn’t marry him anymore. I was full of doubts. I was thinking I should leave.

But then my ex arrived.

He took my hand in a decisive way, without saying anything.

I felt his warmth.

I felt that he wanted to guide me forward and that he silently wanted to tell me: “Trust me”, and also: “I’m sorry for what I’ve done, it’s going to be better from now on”.

So, in my dream, my ex was silently apologizing to me.

Also, a gallery of close-up pictures of his face was being played in front of me. I could see his eyes, his look, his smile… both nowadays and when he was a child. The full person he is, his personality — the good and the bad — and his pain.

I remembered I loved those eyes, that face, and my heart shrank. I also liked the way his hand was holding mine. I was still scared and skeptical, but I wanted to believe him. I wanted it so, so much.

Then I woke up, and I was thrown back into a world where my ex didn’t apologize, and most probably never will (not to a degree I would find satisfactory anyway). This just breaks my heart again and again.

I cried a lot.

But I understood then that I need apologies, I need to be held, and I need to trust someone.

I tried to do these things for myself: I apologized to myself for when I betrayed myself and my instincts, I held my hands one with the other and tried hugging myself, even if that would look pretty weird from the outside. (Luckily, none was there.)

Weirdly enough — that did comfort me a bit.

I also said to myself: “I’ll take care of you. I have your back.”

And then: “I’ll be always there.”

And I did feel a bit better.

Women
Self
Relationships
Prompt
Dreams
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