Summary

The author humorously recounts a Saturday where they demonstrate their self-proclaimed amazingness through mundane tasks like buying a Christmas tree and fixing a leaky faucet.

Abstract

The narrator wakes up early on a Saturday, drawn by the smell of a carrot loaf, and proceeds to purchase a Christmas tree from a familiar vendor for $60, only to later learn that trees are being sold for$ 20 elsewhere. Unfazed, they justify the premium paid for their perfect tree. The day continues with a successful DIY plumbing fix for a leaky faucet, using free cartridges from Lowe's, further cementing the author's view of their own amazing capabilities. The author acknowledges their ego but asserts it is well-founded due to their accomplishments. They also emphasize the importance of self-care to maintain their 'amazing' status and express well-wishes to the reader.

Opinions

The author believes they are exceptional, particularly on Saturdays, and takes pride in their efficiency and decision-making.
They value the quality and freshness of their Christmas tree, considering it worth the extra cost compared to discounted alternatives.
The author takes a humorous approach to self-praise, aware of how it might be perceived, but confident in their self-assessment.
They consider their plumbing success a notable achievement, given their past experiences with plumbing challenges.
The narrator implies that there is a limit to how much 'amazingness' can be exerted in a day, emphasizing the need for rest and relaxation.
They express a sense of contentment and satisfaction with their life and abilities, encouraging others to also have an amazing day.

I Don’t Mean to Toot My Own Horn, But I Must Say, I Am Simply Amazing. Just Ask Me.

Photo by Julentto Photography on Unsplash

I am pretty freaking amazing every day of every week but for some strange reason, I seem to be the most amazing on Saturdays.

Take this past Saturday for example. I woke up at the crack of nine. Within thirty minutes, I was washed up and fully dressed. I was ready to take on the many challenges and responsibilities we amazing people must face every single day.

I must confess, the real reason I got up at nine o’clock, one hour earlier than most Saturday mornings, was because I detected delicious smells coming from the kitchen. I wanted to investigate. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bacon frying in the pan. Don’t you just love that smell? Was it pancakes? Was my dear wife cooking her amazing husband pancakes for Saturday morning breakfast?

Blame it on the Carrot Loaf

That wonderful smell that lured me from the comforts of our warm and cozy bed was a carrot loaf baking in the oven. Apparently, the full-service breakfast I had visions of waking up to was not in the cards for this Saturday morning.

Oh well, I poured a bowl of cereal, brewed a cup of coffee, and had myself a lovely breakfast.

First Item on the Agenda — Get a Christmas Tree

We have been buying Christmas trees from the same family for many years. We initially dealt with the grandfather but now we deal with his grandson. He sets his tree lot up in a parking lot at a small plaza or grocery store somewhere in our town in early December and stays there until all of the trees are sold or Christmas Day arrives.

When we visited this past Saturday, the grandson immediately greeted us. He only had three trees remaining on his lot. I went over to a 6' tall balsam fir and gave it a spin. It looked good to me, amazing in fact. My wife liked it too.

I turned to the grandson and asked “How much for this one?” “Sixty dollars”, he replied. Done. Paid the $60 and wished the grandson a merry Christmas as he threw the tree into the back of my pick-up truck.

Amazing People are Super-Fast Shoppers

Our total Christmas tree shopping time for 2022 was approximately three minutes. Does that sound super fast to you? Not to me, but don’t forget, I am amazing. Procuring the best Christmas tree our family has ever owned, in just three minutes, is just run-of-the-mill stuff for the amazing moi.

Before we could continue with our Saturday shopping, we had to bring our prize Christmas tree home and hide it. The last thing we wanted to happen was to have our amazing tree stolen from the back of our pick-up truck while we were out shopping.

Being Amazing Does Come at a Cost

Next on the agenda was to go to Lowe’s to get faucet cartridges for a set of taps that had an annoying drip. As we drove into the parking lot, I noticed a buddy of mine standing in front of the store. He worked at Lowe’s and told us that they were slashing the price on all of their real Christmas trees. The new reduced price was $20/tree.

Most people would be disappointed in themselves for buying a Christmas tree for $60, and then discovering soon after that there were other Christmas trees available for a mere $20. Not us. My wife and I, who is pretty amazing herself, justified the extra $40 that we paid for our tree with amazing speed and logic.

Our tree was the perfect height and shape
Our tree was cut more recently making it fresher, more aromatic, longer lasting, and much safer
We were supporting a local tree farmer vs. a big box store

No Need to Worry. I Already Checked. I am Perfect

As you are reading this story, I am sure you must be thinking, “Boy, this guy’s got a real ego problem”. I can assure you, I have an amazing ego. I check it every day. It is perfect. But enough about me. Let me continue telling you why I am amazing.

Amazing People are Master Plumbers

I brought the whole faucet set to Lowe’s so that we were sure to get the correct cartridges. The Lowe’s associate was very helpful and the replacement cartridges were quickly located. It was a MOEN faucet set so the cartridges were free. More importantly, I was able to get my wife out of Lowe’s without having to upgrade to a new faucet set.

I brought the two cartridges home and, much to my delight, installed them in no time. Here is the amazing part;

No additional trips to a hardware store were needed.
My wife did not have to rush to turn off the main water valve while I was flat on my back underneath the sink looking like I just stepped out of the shower.
Everything worked properly and nothing leaked.

Amazing as I may be, my plumbing history is less than stellar. All of the things listed above have actually happened on many of my past plumbing projects. Therefore, since I absolutely nailed this particular leaking tap problem with such speed and ease, I must be nothing but amazing.

Amazing People Have Their Limits

I try to limit myself to two amazing things per Saturday. Any additional projects will suffer from a possible reduction in the level of amazement.

Proper nourishment and plenty of rest and relaxation it required to restore amazing people to their full potential.

Hoping that all of you amazing people are having an amazing day.

Stay Well, Stay Safe, and Have Fun Out There