Summary

The poem reflects on the profound personal and societal transformations experienced during a global crisis, questioning the speaker's own humanity amidst the relentless fight for safety and normalcy.

Abstract

In a world upended by a global event, the speaker grapples with the loss of identity, morphing from a person into merely "a thing that fights." The routine of daily life has been replaced by obsessive safety measures, and the constant state of alert has made sleep and normalcy seem like distant memories. The crisis has exposed the fragility of societal structures, the inequities of wealth distribution, and the inadequacies of healthcare systems. Amidst the struggle, there is a recognition of the shared human experience, the artificiality of borders, and the essential nature of community and care for one another. The poem conveys a deep longing for a return to personhood, to a time when relaxation and peace were possible.

Opinions

The speaker suggests that the collective desire for safety and certainty has become an obsession, altering fundamental aspects of daily life.
There is a critique of the economic system and the value placed on wealth, especially when contrasted with the essential needs of all individuals.
The poem expresses frustration towards those in power who prioritize economic interests over human lives during the crisis.
It highlights the contradiction of mourning the loss of millionaires while ignoring the systemic issues that allow hunger and lack of proper healthcare to persist.
The speaker reflects on the intimate impact of the crisis, noting the increased frequency of lovemaking as a possible response to stress and the looming uncertainty of the future.
The constant monitoring of news and statistics related to the crisis has become a morning routine, setting the tone for a day filled with tension and anticipation.
The poem calls for a reevaluation of what is truly important in a society that has been stripped bare by the pandemic's revelations.

I don’t know if I’m a person anymore or just a thing that fights

A Poem

We said we would do it later and the joke is, the thing is, time.

We wanted a break, a rest, we wanted … and now we would break down for a bit of certainty,

a bit of routine, a bit of it’s safe, it’s safe, it’s all clear. I don’t know if I’m a person anymore or just a thing that fights.

It’s for each other, it’s for the greater good, but the fear is real fighting against this thing in our homes, washing our hands more

than any of us have ever considered washing hands before good, it’s good, I know, but the level veers into obsession —

we have to wash our groceries, packages, we have to be ever on alert so on alert that sleep feels surreal, odd to engage in.

We make love every night, it has to be the stress, it has to have something to do with feeling like every day something is

around the corner and it is not going to be normal anymore

we will worry what is in us, around us, we will know the truth of our nation, our economic system, we will know

what has been exposed by this global event — we are global, we are sharing

even if those in control of lives and resources, of dollars and no sense want to act as if there’s some sort of separation, as if

a virus respects borders, respects state lines, as if a virus respects the need for the market to keep

the rich richer — I read somewhere that we lost a few millionaires and somehow that is upsetting, when in fact

no one should be a millionaire in a world where anyone at all goes hungry

no one should be a millionaire in a world where health care providers are wearing trash bags as PPE.

We awake, I scroll through the news, check the ticker, check the numbers no not of stocks, no not of bonds, of lives — lives taken, lives in balance…

I scroll and scroll and work up the will to roll out of bed, begin the day

A day spent in shell shocked anticipation of being able to relax

of feeling like a person not just a thing that fights.

Jenny Justice, Poet. Author of Love in the Time of Climate Change and Reveal. You can read more of her poetry at Justice Poetic. Sign up for her newsletter here.

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