I Don’t Give A Fuck

How I Stopped Giving A Fuck About Shit I Don’t Care About

I have this magical machine that I call my “Give-a-fuck-o’meter”. It shows me how many fucks I’m giving at any certain point during the day.

You probably didn’t know but everyone has a cap on how many fucks they can give at a certain time.

For example, that presentation that you are supposed to give today has taken a lot of fucks out of your reserve tank. You now only have a little bit of fucks left to give out the rest of your day.

I got to a point in my life where I was in the negative fucks. I stopped giving a fuck about my job and it got to the point where they owed me fucks to give them back.

This is what I call the negative fucks loop.

The Negative Fucks Loop

When we get to the point in any situation where we are giving fucks and not getting any fucks back, this equates to the negative fucks loop theorem.

Once we are stuck in this negative cycle of not receiving fucks it’s hard to see an exit. It’s not like we can just build an off-ramp and start receiving fucks back from the people that owe us. We also can’t keep accepting IOUs in lieu of actual fucks that we can spend.

When we are in the negative fucks loop it seems like it could go on forever. We start spending hard-earned fucks on trying to get out of the negative fucks loop. Once we do this, our account balance starts sliding even farther into the negative. So many people start owing us fucks to give. The only way out is to stop giving out fucks.

So stop giving fucks out to people that haven’t earned them.

How To Stop Giving Out Fucks

My give-a-fuck-o’meter is going off.

It says you are still giving a fuck!

We have to remedy this situation quickly or surely you will explode.

The first step to stop giving a fuck is to start limiting what we allow ourselves to give a fuck about. We have to be selective about what get’s our attention. Only the important things should be receiving fucks.

Decide what is important to you and only give fucks out to the ones that give you fucks back.

For me, my family is important so they receive fucks from me constantly. In return, they give fucks back to me in the form of love. This can then be converted into more fucks to give back to them in an endless loop of love fucks.

Once you have a clear list of people that deserve fucks it makes it easier to tell the people that don’t deserve fucks to fuck off.

Not Giving A Fuck In Real-life Situations

Let’s do some examples of everyday situations where I honestly don’t give a fuck.

I pull into the gas station to fill up my truck with gas. The price isn’t great but it’s better than running out on the way home. I have my dog in the passenger seat and he’s being a good boy. I give him a fuck before I get out of the truck. I go inside and ask the clerk to put $30 on pump #2.

She offers me two candy bars for the price of one.

No thanks, I don’t give a fuck.

I walk back out to the truck to start pumping gas. A Karen starts walking towards me in a puffy shuffle. When she finally gets over to me she starts telling me how I shouldn’t leave my dog in the truck. She tells me how he could get overheated and die. It’s currently 34 degrees outside and I was gone for five minutes.

Shut the fuck up, I don’t give a fuck.

I tell her how I didn’t remember asking for her opinion and continue to not give her fucks as she continues to talk.

She finally decides that because she isn’t receiving any fucks from me that I’m not worth her valuable fucks. She shuffles back to her handicapped car that I’m sure she bitched to receive. (Sorry, how to properly throw a bitch fit is another article.)

Not giving a fuck helped me get rid of a Karen.

I finish filling up my truck with gas and continue with my day, not giving a fuck in the world.

Try To Give Less Fucks

The next time you are out and about giving everyone you possibly can your valuable fucks, try not to.

Only give fucks to the people that will return the favor. That Karen at the gas station didn’t give a fuck about me so I didn’t give a fuck about her. My dog gave a fuck about me so I gave a fuck back.

Fucks are just karma.

If you give good fucks to people that deserve them you will receive fucks back from people that value them.

Be selective about who you give your fucks to. You never know who is going to cash in all those IOU fucks you gave them earlier. The last thing you want to do is be fucked like the United States will be when China finally cashes in all its IOU bonds.

My secret to not giving a fuck is not giving a fuck.

Plain and Simple.

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