I Don’t Get Colds, I’m Vegan

Hold your horses; it’s only a joke

On the way home from our holiday with our two- and three-year-old daughters, my husband says, “I wonder how it is to drive home after a holiday without a cold.”

We spent the last five days at a child-centric resort. It was our second stay there. Last year, around the same time in October, we spent four nights in this same place, which was a lot of fun. In the end, though, my husband drove home with Covid; the poor guy was feeling awful. You know how men are with the flu! It was the first (and until now only) time our family got Covid.

We decided to go back this year. It’ll be the last time we get the special mid-week-during-school-term price, and I was sure our girls would enjoy it even more now they’re slightly older. At this time of the year, the place is packed with families with young little kids under school age, just like us. So what’s the chance someone will go home without a cold or some sort of viral infection?

“I don’t think that’s possible,” I reply. “It comes included with the holidays.”

“It’s a free gift,” he says.

“Well, not free. You pay handsomely for it. It’s unfortunately not optional, though.”

He glances at me with a puzzled look. “How come I get all the colds and you don’t?”

“Well, I’m vegan, we have superpowers and never get colds.”

“That makes sense. Not even the cold virus wants anything to do with vegans,” he says, barely containing his laughter. He’s the type that can’t make a joke without laughing. And then he adds, “When I get home, I’ll wear some tofu around my neck.”

“I’m not sure if that’ll work to save you from colds. But you’ll for sure look crazy.”

Luckily, our two girls were napping in the back, so they’ll still have some respect for their parents, at least for a little while longer. I got to be thankful for the little things.

Notes:

I’m vegan, but that’s not why I don’t get colds. I’m just not very susceptible to them and never was. Even when I do get one, they’re super mild and last about thirty minutes.

I love to joke that all good things happening to me are because I’m vegan, though, almost as much as my husband likes to joke that anything negative is due to my veganism. It’s just a running joke in our house. Being vegan doesn’t protect you from the cold.

Of course, I have jinxed myself with this joke and double-jinxed by posting it online. So not only will I get this cold, but it’ll be a bad one. Worth it!