avatarJim Farina

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1953

Abstract

LhiKBRixAxiDARhDMggQLhixAxiABDINEAAYigUYsQMYgwEYQzILEC4YgAQYsQMYgwEyBxAuGIoFGEMyBxAAGIoFGEMyChAAGIoFGLEDGEMyCBAuGIAEGLEDSJUqUABY_AZwAHgAkAEAmAF4oAGuA6oBAzIuMrgBAcgBAPgBAcICCBAAGIoFGJECwgIOEC4YigUYxwEYrwEYkQLCAhEQLhiABBixAxiDARjHARjRA8ICCxAAGIAEGLEDGIMBwgIOEC4YgAQYsQMYxwEY0QPCAhcQLhiKBRixAxiDARiLAxiYAxiaAxioA8ICGhAuGIAEGLEDGIMBGMcBGNEDGIsDGNIDGKgDwgINEC4YigUYxwEYrwEYQ8ICFBAuGIoFGLEDGIMBGMcBGNEDGJECwgITEC4YigUYsQMYgwEYxwEY0QMYQ8ICDhAuGIoFGMcBGNEDGJECwgILEAAYigUYyQMYkQLCAggQABiABBiSA8ICCBAAGIoFGJID&sclient=gws-wiz">Ethan Tasch</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Cunningham_(musician)">Charlie Cunningham</a> strum and sing their magic. I want to see Tasch because it’s his first-ever tour. I feel he possesses a unique genius and expect him to become quickly popular.</p><p id="933b">Cunningham is English, so the pre-pub dinner dovetails nicely with the theme. He’s also a talented and widely recognized musician. Since it's only me, I can maneuver around the space as I please.</p><p id="bdd6">I can easily work my way near the stage. I don't have to worry about losing somebody or making them feel abandoned. It will be a wonderful evening with the best company ever — myself.</p><p id="8eb3">Don’t get me wrong. I need social engagement as well. I enjoy going out with friends. I’m married and love spending time with my spouse. But my wife knows I require a good measure of alone time as an introvert. She’s not a big fan of indie music, and we have plenty of common interests to enjoy together.</p><p id="29c5">She is excited about spending the evening at home catching up on all the series I'm not interested in watching. She’s a homebody. It's a win-win. In this case, I’m alone while surrounded by people. It's an adventure, too. Who knows what fun, interesting people I will meet? I always seem to find a connection.</p><p id="6cc2">My wife initially thought my practice of taking myself on these dates was peculiar.

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I've accepted and embraced that I'm a complex and peculiar soul. I've also worked on being authentic.</p><p id="e76e">Authenticity begins by loving yourself for who you are. The first time I took myself out on a date night like this was somewhat awkward, as first dates tend to be. At the night's end, I thought, man, I’m a good time. I'm going to make another plan with myself for a second date. And so the relationship continued.</p><p id="a809">I urge you to try it. Take yourself out on your terms for an afternoon or evening; you make all the plans. I purchase tickets several weeks or months in advance of the event.</p><p id="0001">Anticipation for the upcoming date is all part of the experience. Be flexible and adventurous. You don't need to answer to anybody else or stick rigidly to the script. Do you see a store and want to browse in for a while? Nobody will tug at your sleeve and say, we should get going.</p><p id="40ac">All my wife requires is that I check in occasionally so she doesn't worry. It's a simple courtesy. I also need to set the alarm on my mobile device while going back to the burbs on the last train.</p><p id="0666">If I fall asleep on the thirty-mile ride home, it would mean an expensive Uber ride from heaven knows where. I'm not a cheap date, but I don't want to make my time out with my best friend more costly than it needs to be.</p><p id="ec4a">Taking yourself out on a date means honoring yourself and making space on your own terms. This occasional autonomy and solitude is good for your soul and enhances other relationships through new self awareness.</p><figure id="7109"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*Z0mb-PM70loDWkAl"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@zapsizzle?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Zane Persaud</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Why You Should Take Yourself Out on A Date

No more discussions about where to meet, places to eat, or where to sit for the show

Photo by Eaters Collective on Unsplash

I'm taking myself out on a date tonight. It's not the first time. The last few dates I took myself on were one hundred percent success. I discovered that I love hanging out with myself. I'm having a great time and don't need to coordinate with anybody else.

This mild October evening, I will take the Metra into downtown Chicago, stroll down the beautiful Riverwalk, get a drink, and take in the beautiful urban sounds, scenery, and people-watch. I'll then take the Brown Line subway to Fullerton Avenue and walk to the Red Lion Pub on Lincoln Street. It has a cozy lounge/library vibe.

I'll get myself a sandwich, pub crisps, and a pint (or two) of something I've never tasted. I might chat up the bartender and some folks at the bar. I'll be present while soaking up all of the city sensations. I was born and raised in Chicago, so I'm comfortable in the element.

After dinner, I'll head to Lincoln Hall at my own pace, where I have a ticket to see indie/folk performers Ethan Tasch and Charlie Cunningham strum and sing their magic. I want to see Tasch because it’s his first-ever tour. I feel he possesses a unique genius and expect him to become quickly popular.

Cunningham is English, so the pre-pub dinner dovetails nicely with the theme. He’s also a talented and widely recognized musician. Since it's only me, I can maneuver around the space as I please.

I can easily work my way near the stage. I don't have to worry about losing somebody or making them feel abandoned. It will be a wonderful evening with the best company ever — myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I need social engagement as well. I enjoy going out with friends. I’m married and love spending time with my spouse. But my wife knows I require a good measure of alone time as an introvert. She’s not a big fan of indie music, and we have plenty of common interests to enjoy together.

She is excited about spending the evening at home catching up on all the series I'm not interested in watching. She’s a homebody. It's a win-win. In this case, I’m alone while surrounded by people. It's an adventure, too. Who knows what fun, interesting people I will meet? I always seem to find a connection.

My wife initially thought my practice of taking myself on these dates was peculiar. I've accepted and embraced that I'm a complex and peculiar soul. I've also worked on being authentic.

Authenticity begins by loving yourself for who you are. The first time I took myself out on a date night like this was somewhat awkward, as first dates tend to be. At the night's end, I thought, man, I’m a good time. I'm going to make another plan with myself for a second date. And so the relationship continued.

I urge you to try it. Take yourself out on your terms for an afternoon or evening; you make all the plans. I purchase tickets several weeks or months in advance of the event.

Anticipation for the upcoming date is all part of the experience. Be flexible and adventurous. You don't need to answer to anybody else or stick rigidly to the script. Do you see a store and want to browse in for a while? Nobody will tug at your sleeve and say, we should get going.

All my wife requires is that I check in occasionally so she doesn't worry. It's a simple courtesy. I also need to set the alarm on my mobile device while going back to the burbs on the last train.

If I fall asleep on the thirty-mile ride home, it would mean an expensive Uber ride from heaven knows where. I'm not a cheap date, but I don't want to make my time out with my best friend more costly than it needs to be.

Taking yourself out on a date means honoring yourself and making space on your own terms. This occasional autonomy and solitude is good for your soul and enhances other relationships through new self awareness.

Photo by Zane Persaud on Unsplash
Self
Relationships
Dating
Authenticity
Chicago
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