I Didn’t Masturbate For 6 Months —Here’s What Happened

I almost went insane.

I didn’t masturbate or have sex for 6 months.

I realize that’s not a celibate life sentence, but it’s certainly the longest I ever went without sexual stimulation in my life. Since I was a kid anyway. I started masturbating later than most people I know, but I quickly made up for the lost time.

Why did I go release-free for half a year? Partly because I wanted to experiment with self-control.

I had heard so much about the benefits of no-fap (not masturbating).

According to Heathline.com:

We’ll start with higher testosterone levels. This is what fueled the original Reddit discussion back in the day after a user shared an older study that found not ejaculating for 7 days increased testosterone levels by 45.7 percent.

This sparked others to go a week without masturbating, some of whom went on to share other benefits of “fapstinence.” These included mental and physical health benefits as well as spiritual awakenings and epiphanies.

Those 6 months of self-imposed celibacy changed my life, convinced me of the juggernaut power of sexual energy, and left an indelible impression of what my body needs to maintain peak performance.

Here’s what happened.

I couldn’t focus on a damn thing

The first side effect I noticed was my complete inability to focus.

I was scatterbrained, unable to concentrate on anything but my growing need for release. My lack of focus affected my job, my writing, and my relationships.

Yes, I was married at the time.

If that sounds strange to you, I completely agree. My self-imposed ban on masturbation was 100% my idea. Not having sex for half a year was not.

The reason behind my celibate marriage is a long story, but the short version is that my ex-wife and I didn’t want to have sex with each other. Yes, this is probably the worst possible time to stop masturbating, but that’s when I chose to do it.

It was 6 months of unfocused anarchy in my mental and emotional life. The only thing that I could concentrate on was sex — the one subject I was desperately trying to avoid.

I constantly felt uncomfortable

Not only could I not concentrate, but I also felt woefully uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the blue balls pain of sexually frustrated teenagers. Rather, it was a psychological, emotional, and physiological uneasiness. I could still function, but not at peak performance.

For one, I was distracted. But I was also not at peace.

The discomfort of not masturbating felt like a nagging irritation that never stopped. It existed as a constant background noise that taunted me just enough to put me on edge.

My relationships suffered

Even at the start of my experiment, my marriage was already in shambles. But distraction and discomfort only made things worse. And not only with my ex-wife.

We had a daughter who was only a few years old.

I’ve always prided myself on being a good dad. Those 6 months were a struggle to connect. My relationships with friends, family, and co-workers also suffered.

When your focus is fractured and pain perpetual, it’s hard to give energy to anything but your own internal crisis.

Graphic sexual images flooded my brain

To make matters worse, graphic sexual images assaulted me at all hours. For most of those 6 months, I felt like a human dam desperately holding back a mounting flood.

One month in, the dam had already started to crack.

Anything, no matter how remotely nonsexual, could trigger pornographic images and fantasies. When I closed my eyes, naked people greeted me in all manner of hedonistic orgies of pleasure.

It wasn’t quite at Pure level, but it was damn close enough.

I unconsciously sexualized everything

Anything phallic or yonic (objects shaped like female genitalia) remind me of sex. As a heterosexual male, I found myself fantasizing about nearly every woman I encountered.

I wasn’t even trying to do it.

It was purely spontaneous and unconscious. Although even trying to stop or slow down these fantasies completely failed. I was a solitary man stooped in the ocean trying to hold back the tide.

I might as well have been trying to shovel the ocean with a spoon.

Everything turned me on

During those six months, a slight breeze, an accidental touch, even commercials aroused me.

It felt like the horniest man in the world.

Sure, I was in my late twenties, a well-known highly sexual period for many people. But, still, I walked around with what seemed like a perpetual erection.

Against my will, mind you.

Reading Zach Zimmerman’s failed 30-day no masturbation experiment made me feel better. Less alone. Less like a freaking sex-craved monster.

He barely made it ten days before his body almost betrayed him:

The hardest part about not masturbating on Day 7 was whenever I talked to someone, I had to censure myself from saying, “I want to put my penis inside you.”

OMG, Yes! I know exactly what he was going through.

I felt like a walking time bomb

The worst part, by far, was the overwhelming urge to masturbate. My balls weren’t blue — my entire body radiated like a giant horny smurf.

I was a walking time bomb always on the verge of an explosion.

Despite my best intentions and willpower, at night my body occasionally produced sexual dreams that resulted in a release. I didn’t count this as a failure since I couldn’t tame my subconscious, even though I attempted to manage it through self-guided visualizations and affirmations.

Final thoughts

Those 6 months were complete torture for me. I have no idea how anyone maintains complete celibacy for life.

I don’t even know how no fappers do it (guys who practice the no-fap lifestyle).

Contrary to anecdotal stories in the no-fap community, most health experts believe that masturbation is healthy. Some of the benefits include better sleep, better mood, better focus, and reduced risk of prostate cancer.

I’d be the first to sign up for those benefits if I had a free hand.

“My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke