I Destroyed my Self-Confidence by Hiding Behind My Insecurity

How to BOOST your self-esteem

I was the longest-running joke in my family.

“Ram’s thighs are as wide as his wrists”

I was the skinnest in my family and at my school. Summer was a nightmare because shorts would expose my straw-shaped legs that extended -without interruption- to my lower back.

My bottomless figure was so bad that if you were looking at my waist, you wouldn’t be able to tell if it was my back or front side.

Naturally, It became my biggest insecurity as a kid. Every time, the word “weight” gets thrown around in conversations. I shied away from the room or stayed still, played dead trying to become invisible.

That destroyed my self-confidence.

Confident people don’t hide behind their weaknesses — They exploit them

One day, I realized that I couldn’t beat them, so I joined in with the joke.

“Talking about fat… Has anybody seen my a$$? I’ve been looking for it since the first grade.”

Everyone laughed. I had my next joke cocked and ready to shoot down the incoming flaming comebacks, but to my surprise, it never came!

I was stunned.

Brutally exposing your own weaknesses signals to everyone in the room that you take these weaknesses as natural human traits.

“Listen... I am ashamed to ask really but I got an important date tomorrow… Can you maybe lend some of your a$$?”

I killed.

At first, this joke seemed like the worst idea imaginable to say at a family or friends gathering. But as soon I mustered up my “F**k it” energy and said it, suddenly I didn’t matter anymore.

My insecurity vanished. Summer was fun again, and shorts became the standard dress code everywhere I went.

Being human is hating what you see in the mirror and doing something about it

I didn’t mind their jokes anymore, but I hated being weak.

I was 40kg (~88lb) in my last year at high school.

I found a personal trainer and took his words for scriptures. I didn’t train for looks but for strength instead. I did deadlifts, squats, and bench presses exclusively for months.

I ate 4 eggs for breakfast. Snacked on 1kg of yogurt a day and ate tuna every night. This, along with the compound exercises, helped me put on weight very efficiently.

By the end of the year, I was at 55kg (~121 lb).

Still skinny but nowhere near embarrassing. I felt strong, and my confidence soared.

Fast forward a few dozen existential crises in college, and I am back at it.

I was nowhere near perfect, of course, but all my 6–8 months stretches of training per year compounded nicely, and as a result, I went from 55kg to 65kg (143 lb).

My Final Joke

Today, I am sitting at 71kg and training my way to 80kg (my dream physique).

Hopefully, I’ll get there when I meet my financial goals as well so that one day I can finally crack my best joke:

“My a$$ and I are both self-made — We both made it here from absolute rock-bottom”

Takeaway: Embrace your frugality and watch it turn into a superpower.