I Dated More Than 20 Men Per Night
Here are 4 things I learned about men from online dating
I have been single for 4 years now and I think it’s the right time to open up myself to the possibilities — life must go on. I am taking the chance to get to know more men and see how it works from the first chat. Maybe there is love at first swipe — who knows. Finger crossed. To begin my journey to finding the right man, I have also signed up for a few dating sites and dating apps. Frankly speaking, I have no certain objectives why I joined in. More or less, it’s just for fun and because of boredom. However, as a normal human being, I can’t deny that I need love, and I need someone to chat with — besides my colleagues at school or friends that I have known for years. So, I was thinking, if the conversations getting deeper and there is chemistry between me and the man, maybe can go to the next level.
Finding love from online dating is more challenging than I thought. It is different than real life or traditional dating. It needs more patience and more exploration and more time as well. This pandemic crisis is one of the reasons too. I realized more men and women registered as new members on dating sites ever since the COVID-19 crisis affecting people worldwide. I guess we are in the same boat. But not everyone has the same purpose when it comes to online dating. Maybe some of them joining online dating to learn about new cultures or to find new girlfriends but to some people, online dating is no joke — they are hoping to find their other halves which eventually turn into a marriage.
Speaking on criteria, I have a few specific points to look at, which I had overlook 7 years ago. I keep on reminding myself that I will never repeat the same mistake in my future relationship. Regardless, I date almost every night with all men from different backgrounds. This is the good thing about online dating. I have the opportunity to date up to 20 to 30 men every night. I have finally opened my door to accept men from every walk of life — different cultures and beliefs, different personalities, and different sizes too — some online dating platforms will ask certain questions like your weight, height, or even your exact body measurement. I don’t know how you imagine the size part, but I would rather leave it up to you. Wink!
In this article, I will share with you what I’ve learned from dating men virtually. For quite some time after I signed up for this online dating platform, I learned a few things about male characteristics when we started chatting online.
The 4 characteristics of men based on my online dating experience
1) Appearance is the main quality
No matter what they tell you about their opinions on looks, it’s either “looks will fade away” or “pretty looks are just a bonus” or looks are not important, blah-blah-blah — All these are lies. When it comes to online dating, appearances are the main quality they looking for. Who doesn’t like pretty faces or sensuous-gallant men? When we are online, we don’t communicate as we did in real meetings. Therefore, the first thing we do is scrolling for members and look at their photos. By all means, men are more concerned with appearance alone. It can be the smiles, the eyes, the skin tone, the face, the height — as long as it is something that appears in front of their eyes. I would say, almost all the men I chatted with, loved something about my appearance. I hate to say this, especially something revealing about myself but for the sake of this article, I don’t mind though. I don’t blame men either, for being so transparent about my appearance. Men will always be men. Amazingly, their nature is supported by Science. Here are few things they have told me about my appearance after they’ve seen my photos (the first impression):
- I like your long hair.
- You have such a lovely smile.
- I like your Asian skin tone.
- May I know what is your height?
- Your lips are kissable.
- You look so sexy in all of your photos. I bet you look great with bikinis, too.
2) Profile information is not as important as your profile photo
In all dating online platforms, either it is on websites or apps, the platform normally will ask you to fill in some particular details about yourself. Trust me, your profile information is not as important as your photos. They don’t mind about your job, don’t even care about your level of education and they don’t even care to read the About Me column. That’s not what they looking for. I spent few minutes on the About Me column just to find good words to put together into 500 words limit. I did mention I am not interested in any dirty chats in the column. The result was, I’m still getting messages from men who are obviously into steamy sexual conversations. I also have limited the age range from 36 to 50 but still, I received messages from younger males who are still in their teens or older males who I could call my grandpa. I understand with the saying age is just a number but please don’t get me wrong, what I’m trying to prove here is that most men don’t bother to read the profile on online dating.
I also realized that some of the men on online dating prefer to write very little on the profile column. I like to spend my time reading the About Me column to see what they have to say about themselves. If they are really serious about their objectives in joining online dating, they will write more on the column. Unfortunately, most didn’t elaborate more about themselves or about the woman they want. Some men even left it empty.
I accept the fact that most people prefer not to share much about themselves on an online dating profile because of safety reasons. I sometimes don’t give out too much personal information upfront. The three things I usually don’t bother to fill in are the column on education, career, and salary. I think these three are best not to be revealed so quickly. However, for the About Me column, I don’t see any secret in there. It is more about your mission, what type of person you are, and what kind of woman or man you hoping to find on the platform.
3) Sweet words to get attention
“I don’t always online” This happens to me most of the time. After few lines of chatting, they would ask for my contact number. They insisted. They would tell me that they don’t always online and seldom check their inbox. They would tell me that most of the time they are only busy with work. So, it is their lucky day to have the chance to chat with me online. Guess what? I ended up giving them my contact number.
“I am serious about you” Soon after they got my contact number, they started chatting with me on WhatsApp, Telegram, or Skype.
“Hi again, it’s me, Daniel. We chatted on the AsianDating site.”
“Hi gorgeous! Remember me? I’m Hilman. We met at Fdating.”
As the conversations on WhatsApp started, they would tell me:
- They don’t like to chat on the dating platform because they get annoyed with other chatters who keep sending them nonsense messages.
- They want to spend more time with me online that is the only time they can chat because other days are busy working.
- They want to get to know me more on Whatsapp as it is more private.
Believe it or not, for the first 5 minutes, I was flattered a little until I checked on them on the dating platform, they are still there with the status:
- Daniel is ONLINE NOW
- Hilman WAS ONLINE 5 minutes ago
The next day I checked, the same name was still on that site. I wonder if they have taken few days off from work just to chat. LOL!
“Take a selfie, please. I miss you.”
They will ask for more photos of me. They would say all the words in the world that can melt a heart just to have my photos. They would ask for my photos almost every week.
“What are you doing? Take a selfie, please. I miss you.”
And when it was my turn to ask for their photos, they will give me 10 thousand excuses. Or they will just give me the photos as on the dating platform.
4) The sexual type
They will ask me about my past relationship and they would give me some comforting words. Then they would dive in a little by asking me something personal.
- How long have you been single?
- Have you dated anyone?
- Do you like foreigners?
- Have you dated anyone from foreign countries?
The Q&A sessions continue depends on my responses. Most of the questions are very decent at first. Then, they would ask me something like these:
- Would you like to have phone sex with me?
- Can you take a naked video of yourself?
- Can you take a naked photo of yourself?
- Can you be naked for me on video cam?
And when I turned them down, they would say:
“Sooner or later, we will be together. Right now, we can’t meet because pandemics and borders are still closed. I love you and I want you to know that.”
I can’t deny that women often receive inappropriate messages and have to face more issues on sexism in languages than men. I would say, if they can turn into any character, it would be Puss in Boots — the sweet smooth-talker, just to get you into their sexual imaginary world.
The Takeaways
I am not an expert in relationships. Even my previous marriage was a big downfall. All I can say is, if you are into online dating, chat with as many men as you want. This is the best part about online dating. You will have the chance to date, anyone, any time. The freedom is yours. The more you chat with men, the more you can learn about them. Most importantly, give yourself some time to know them — inside out.
Here are 8 things you should do when chatting with men from online dating platforms:
- Read carefully on their Profile Information and look at the year they become members. If they have been members since 2016, then you are brilliant enough to know that most probably they just use the online dating platform for fun.
- Don’t feel hesitate to ask if there is a chance for you two to talk on video cam. Don’t trust today’s technology. They can edit their faces become someone that melts your heart.
- Ask if they have any social media accounts. Even a 70-year- old granny nowadays has TikTok (Just saying). Almost all people nowadays have social media accounts as a medium of communication. Maybe not all, but at least, a Facebook account.
- Please be alert with the time they usually contact you. Is it always at night? At the same time — every morning OR at any time? (There must be another reason for that besides the time difference).
- Mind to ask more questions about him, his work, his family, his friends (if your relationship tends to go to the next level).
- Don’t reveal yourself too much. Wait until he comes to see you for real (If that ever happens).
- If it is time to meet up — try to meet in public places.
- Please inform your close friend or any family members about your plan and don’t be secretive about your whereabouts. It is for your safety.
Just like Rome, it was not built in a day. The same goes for a relationship. If it is something that you want for the long term, you have to invest your time into it, into knowing the person you know online.
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210623-the-darkest-side-of-online-dating
