I Cried on My Birthday Once

Summary

The author reflects on a personal experience of crying on his birthday due to underlying life dissatisfactions and contrasts it with his current contentment, emphasizing the importance of emotional expression regardless of cultural norms.

Abstract

Fifteen years ago, the author was overwhelmed with emotion while driving, prompting him to pull over and cry, an unusual occurrence for him. Despite appearing successful with a good job, family, and property, he was grappling with a failing marriage, job dissatisfaction, and the impending loss of his daughter. These feelings of sadness, helplessness, and loneliness led to his emotional breakdown. Now, the author is happier with his life and job, yet the song that triggered his tears still moves him to cry, which he accepts as a healthy expression of emotion. He also notes that some people avoid birthday celebrations for various personal reasons, such as coinciding with other significant events or simply feeling the weight of aging. The author invites readers to join his health-focused writing community and subscribe to his work on Medium.

Opinions

The author believes that it is acceptable for men to express their emotions through crying, despite cultural expectations that view it as a sign of weakness.
He acknowledges that external markers of success do not guarantee personal happiness or fulfillment.
The author suggests that certain dates can overshadow birthdays, making them less joyous for some individuals.
He values emotional health and the importance of acknowledging and processing one's feelings.
The author sees personal growth and change as positive, referencing his own transformation over 15 years.
He appreciates the power of music to evoke deep emotional responses, even years after a significant event.

Is your birthday fun or sad?

I was driving my car 15 years ago and heard this song on the radio.

I suddenly got very emotional. I had to park my Honda Civic and let my tears have their way. It took me long 10 or 15 minutes to calm down. Never happened before in my adult life.

Why did I cry on my birthday?

I had all the attributes of a successful man back then. I had a stable high-paying job as a branch manager in a bank. I was below 30 years old, had a wife and a small daughter. I owned my apartment and a car. I had no visible reason to cry. I almost never did. Men don't cry in my culture, it’s a sign of weakness.

But I wasn't OK. My marriage was falling apart. I was about to lose my daughter I love a lot. Kids always stay with their mother in my home country. I knew it would happen. And it did.

I didn’t like my job, too. I was already planning to change it. Yet I knew the new job wouldn't last more than a year or two. And it didn’t.

I cried because I saw no way out. I felt sad and helpless. I felt lonely.

My life is different from 15 years ago. I’m happy with my family, kids and my job. Yet I still cry when I hear this song. And that’s OK. A man can cry when he wants, sad or happy. It’s healthy.

I met several people who don’t celebrate their birthdays:

Three guys I knew almost never had birthday wishes. Their birthdays were on December 24th, January 1st and March 8th.

Eugene, one of my first employees never celebrated his birthday. He was always moody the whole day. He explained to me once that all he felt was getting one year older every year.

My ex-house owner’s father passed away on her birthday. It’s a day of grief for her.

I Cried on My Birthday Once

Is your birthday fun or sad?

Why did I cry on my birthday?

I met several people who don’t celebrate their birthdays:

Is your birthday fun or sad?

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Andrey Pilipets — Medium

Read writing from Andrey Pilipets on Medium. I’m a passionate online personal trainer for 10+ years. I love to create…