Summary

The website content reflects a personal narrative of self-discovery and healing after the narrator feels neglected and hurt in a one-sided platonic relationship.

Abstract

The narrative "I Choose Me" delves into the emotional journey of an individual who feels unappreciated and undervalued in a relationship that was once very close and sharing. The narrator questions whether their efforts were ever reciprocated and grapples with feelings of loneliness and the fear of being unworthy of attention and love. After a period of introspection and self-reflection, prompted by the emotional distance from their friend, Daniel, the narrator decides to embark on a 30-day self-care journey. This journey involves self-validation, self-compassion, and learning to find happiness and love from within, rather than seeking it externally. The transformation leads to a realization that one's own happiness and self-worth are not dependent on others, but are self-generated.

Opinions

The narrator initially questions if they were the only one invested in the friendship and whether they had done something wrong to cause the rift.
There is a sense of deep emotional attachment and vulnerability, as the narrator admits to attaching strong emotions to even faint shows of affection.
The narrator expresses a childhood experience where attention and validation were scarce, contributing to their current struggles with self-worth.
A turning point occurs when the narrator realizes that self-love and validation are crucial and that they no longer need to rely on others for these feelings.
The narrator advocates for self-care and self-compassion as essential steps towards emotional independence and healing.
The narrative concludes with an affirmation of self-sufficiency in generating one's own happiness and the unlearning of the need for external validation.

I Choose Me

“Am I the only one affected?”

“ Am I the only one languishing in pain and hurt?”

Was it always one-sided?

Maybe you never valued our friendship, or you just liked the idea of my company.

“Have I done something so wrong?”

“Am I not needed anymore?”

Each day I feel like an empty can, I’m losing myself thinking what could have gone wrong.

What happened to “I'm rooting for you”?

I thought you were my number one fan. Now it’s just a nightmare, I wish would go away.

Say something,

Please...

I woke up with tears in my eyes.

Once again, my emotions had taken control of me. I wiped my tears with my hair bonnet which laid beside me. It must have probably rolled off while asleep.

I sighed as I remembered Daniel.

Ever been in any relationship, and it seemed you were the only one trying to make it work?

You know what you need?

A break.

Maybe you’re pushing too hard that you’ve failed to realize where true love comes from.

Well, mine is- or was a platonic relationship.

At the onset, we shared literally everything, nothing was news. He approached me first, I was skeptical due to my past experience. I tried as much as possible to avoid bonding with people, unless I was sure they were ready to give in their all.

I knew I was vulnerable if they had a change of heart.

Attaching strong emotions to the faintest show of affection. That was my only mistake.

Few months had passed, and the rate at which we spoke had reduced, I was scared.

My childhood fears had began to set in. Attention had been an asset I never enjoyed, it was given to the most deserving: topping the class, winning awards and medals.

It felt as though my colorful world had began to darken. I felt sad, dejected, as I tried to key in to the source my happiness was accustomed to, but it was no longer there.

I had cried my eyes out, then I thought to myself;

Do I really need people to feel loved and valued?

I picked up the broken pieces of my heart, arranged it nicely and scribbled roughly on a piece of paper, “All You Need Is You”.

I was ready to unlearn what I have gotten so used to. I was so ready to overcome my fears of seeking empty validation to feel loved.

I started my 30 days self-care journey; I gifted myself when I did a good job, spoke kind words of reassurance when things didn’t go as planned; danced when I felt extremely happy.

I realized, you don’t need people to do all these, so much that even when someone you hold close to your heart leaves, your smile is still intact.

You know why? The source is not them, but you.

Just you…

Have a lovely day.

Clap. It makes me happier