I choose courage

Three words with life-transforming power.

Loneliness, anxiety and self-doubt are the three musketeers in my life. They have tagged along for so long and I have accepted them, all three of them. Loneliness and anxiety I can manage but self-doubt, it is just too powerful.

I have never believed in myself and that has been the easiest route to failure. I only recently started sharing my writing, up until now they were locked in my notes or books I buried at the bottom of boxes. I lacked courage and I wore it like a coat.

I was too afraid to do anything, to push myself out of my comfort zone. I did not particularly care about what other people thought of me, I was afraid because I who ought to believe in myself did not. What did that make me? We have the sole power to have unwavering faith in ourselves, no one can take that away from us. But not me, I was convinced I was ordinary, all that faux confidence was a cover-up. Sometimes, facing the truth is scary.. it only takes so much courage.

I started practicing yoga because it was aesthetically pleasing. The poses reminded me of the gracefulness of ballerinas, absolutely beautiful. I started on YouTube with Adriene (yoga with Adriene) and I realized it wasn’t all glamour, there was a flow. You just don’t do a headstand just because you think it looks good!

The first few days and I was hooked, yoga was teaching me how to return to self, patience, progress and courage. I went from 10 minutes a day to one hour in less than a month. I was creating space for myself to be vulnerable, to fail until success, to finally believe in myself.

Adriene is the sweetest person and I am glad to be under her guide. I found that during the day her words would echo in my head. ‘Find what feels good’ ‘let your breath support you’… her words were a form of reminder every day. One day, she invited us to to complete a sentence with whatever we felt we wanted.

She said ‘I choose _____’ and I responded with courage. I choose courage. Three words, fourteen letters powerful enough to change my life. Everything changed that day, I went on to do things I normally wouldn’t because of self-doubt. I’d remind myself that I chose courage and courage isn’t about doing it right. It is about doing it.

It has now become a part of me, whenever I hear self-doubt calling, I pick up and say I choose courage. For the things I set out to do daily, I choose courage. In my writing, I choose courage, with my ideas, I choose courage. I choose courage, every day.

If you’re experiencing self doubt, choose courage every day, understand that you are a work in progress and masterpiece all at once. Show yourself kindness, in your thoughts of yourself and in the way you speak to yourself. Be your biggest cheerleader and always choose courage in the face of enormous obstacles. In the words of Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?