I Can’t Stand Peanut Butter, But There’s One Obvious Exception

The Reason Can’t Be Explained, But The Exception Might Be

When I first started taking lunch to school in first grade, I’d only eat a peanut butter sandwich. I didn’t care for variety; just give me that peanut butter sandwich, no jelly. Oh, and sans crust, please.

Before that, I was an exclusive tuna sandwich guy, but then I got tired of them and didn’t like them anymore. I switched to team PB.

About a month or two into the school year, I took one bite of my sandwich and barfed. I had no idea why. I didn’t have any after-affects, no fever, and no upset stomach. I continued with my day.

Everything seemed fine, so I had the same lunch as the day before the next day. I removed it from the wrapper, and before I could get a whiff, I took my first bite and…

BMBB…MMBBB…MMBBBBBLLLLAAAAATTTT!!!!!!

Okay, this is just strange. So the next day, for just a tiny bit of variety, I had a one-slice-of-bread “foldover” instead of the traditional, as if it might make a difference. Uh, it didn’t. I took a note home from school that day from the lunch lady.

Mrs. Reese, Please don’t send Steven with a peanut butter sandwich in his lunch anymore.

Suddenly the smell of peanut butter and the taste were unbearable. But I’d loved it SO much! And now I can’t be around it even when my friends had one; I had to keep my distance.

I used to say I was allergic to it, but I really wasn’t. There was no other way to describe it, though. The smell made me sick.

Ah, but there’s an exception to every rule.

Naturally, my exception is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup! No, the original Reese is not known to be a distant relative. But I love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups anyway, and I would if they or I had a different name.

Look, the peanut butter is different. The chocolate with it makes it the best candy there is. Look it up. It’s not just my opinion. It is Number 1 by a mile.

I can’t explain the difference, but there’s a difference, damn it! Don’t make me prove it! I know what I’m talking about.

The Boyer equivalent? Other knock-offs? Homemade? No way! I don’t even like the Reese’s Egg or Reese’s Pieces. The only good ones are the traditional Reese cup, the mini, and the large, nothing else.

There is no better candy than the original Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

Don’t try to trick me into any other form of peanut butter, either. You’ll be sorry, trust me. You won’t like the consequences.

For the record: Peanuts? I love ’em, except for dry roasted. Dry roasted reminds me of peanut butter.

By the way, I can’t stand being around tuna anymore either. There’s no alternative to it that I like. I like some fish, but not any similar to tuna, and definitely nothing from a can.

Thanks to Michael L Butler, who prompted this with his “10 Things You Don’t Know About Me”. He loves Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups so much that he may have subconsciously named his son after them, though he spelled the name incorrectly. (I say that to anyone who doesn’t spell it R-E-E-S-E.)

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