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me they had talked, meanwhile I hadn’t got a response from her all day. He told me she was fine, not to stress and to get back to work. The problem with me not being in contact with her was that she was pregnant. I am a very loyal man and will stand up for my responsibilities as a father, to raise my child in the best atmosphere possible. Anyone that knows me and my relationship with my daughter now, knows that first hand. But now having zero contact with the woman that was carrying my child, and having my hours cut back to near homelessness, was making me lose hope. I had questioned her about the lack of contact and right then and there she said she needed to take a break. I was astounded! What was I doing that was so wrong? I had no reason as to why, no explanation just “I need to take a break”.I figured it was hormones and I gave her space. But days had passed and still, I had no contact. My “friend” would tell me she was fine and not to stress. He would tell me this was a completely messed up situation and she is completely wrong for doing this and I should probably just start getting a lawyer present for custody, if I wanted to see the child when it was born. So, I called her no answer. I texted her, no response. What kind of a relationship was I getting into if I had to ask how the mother of my unborn child was by talking to my coworker first? Not long after my text message I got a response. If you want to have any contact with your child after it is born you will have to go through your “friend”. My heart sank and my body went cold.One of the other technicians had mentioned, that while I was gone on my day off, he would talk about how I was ruining this relationship and how horrible of a boyfriend I was. I questioned him and asked, well why is he saying that about me? When I am at work, he would tell me how horrible of a person she was and I needed to end it with her. That I needed to cut my losses with the child when it arrives. Furthermore, confusing me to the fullest and making me seem like I needed psychological help. Spinning my head into a state of confusion and discontent, I was lost and didn’t know what to do. I needed space for myself, so I focused on jiu jitsu, and signed up for one of the biggest tournaments I could be a part of.Shortly after the tournament was over, my “friend” told me that the woman carrying my child was coming home from a party around 2 am, driving in the pouring rain, she had crashed her car into the wall of the freeway. The impact led to a miscarriage. I received a call from her later on stating that it was my fault for not reaching out more. That I should have been a better person and fought to save the relationship a little harder. I was baffled, I didn’t know how to respond. I felt like I was in a twilight zone and wanted the nightmare to end.My misery seemed to bring this man comfort. He started showing up more frequently. The gifts were more abundant. I was in a state of depression and this man was there to comfort me with gifts and what seemed to be his friendship. I pushed aside any and all negative discomfort or painful mindsets this man had brought onto me because I was blinded by the thoughtful gifts I received from him. He would reassure me of how awesome of a person I was, and how I had changed his views on society being so hateful. “People are stupid and there is no good in the world. But you give me hope”. “So, in order to get ahead in life, you have to take advantage of everyone in it”. I started to believe it. Taking myself away from my true self, I started developing this attitude of hating everyone. I started drinking in excess and distancing myself with my daughter.One day I woke up with a different approach. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know why my attitude shifted, but I am so grateful that it happened. I started reading. I started focusing on myself and developing a better, stronger relationship with my daughter. I got back into the gym and set goals of hiking and getting back to the old healthier and happier life style I once had. I figured if I start looking for the good in people, more positive things will come about in my life. I reached out to my friend and he had agreed that it was a great choice but there is no good in people he had reminded me. I disagreed with him and for once spoke up and said “you are wrong”! “There is good in me and there is good in others, I am determined to surround myself with those types of people”. He laughed and said “ok”.I started reading even more, bringing up new ideas of better mindsets to him, he would then brush them off and quickly debate against any ideas I had. I started bringing up healthier food options which were quickly shunned off with more of “that stuff doesn’t work”. It was at that point that I fully became aware of the type of person he was. He didn’t want to grow; he didn’t want to better anything about his life. There was always an excuse as to why he couldn’t do something that I offered for the greater good. We had gone on a hike one day and he started getting frustrated that the people who built the trail didn’t install a hand rail for him to make his way all the way to t

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he top easily. I laughed thinking he was joking but then he got frustrated with me and quit the hike.I eventually started dating again, and would offer for him to come over and do things with us. Quickly understanding, that even that was a mistake because he would cause arguments with them and make it very uncomfortable to be in the same room. You could cut the tension with a knife. But the final straw was the day after new year’s. He had come over and caused more discomfort on this day of celebration. I didn’t think much into it because I understood that’s just who he was. But when he came over the next day, he had stated he wasn’t feeling well the last couple of days. During these crazy times of covid, I got upset. Seeing how my daughter and my friends were now at risk of becoming exposed to this dangerous virus. I questioned him. He had stated it was nothing to worry about and that I was over reacting. At that point I was ready to cut ties with him. Sure enough, its like he knew what I was thinking and out of nowhere he showed up with a bicycle mount for my car. My daughter rushed out of the house, greeting him with excitement and said, “dad! We can bring our bikes out anywhere we want to now”. Blinded by my daughter’s excitement, I quickly greeted him with a smile. We installed the bike mount, and proceeded on our day with our daily activities of enjoying the outdoors and taking mini road trip in town. He had mentioned to me later on, that he had completely forgotten about being sick and he noticed that during a point in time, he caught himself breathing on my neck while I was turned around talking to my daughter. I quickly became furious at this man. For one, he told me him being sick wasn’t anything to worry about it was probably just the medication he was taking that made him queasy. For two, now you being sick has exposed not only myself, but my daughter and anyone she comes in contact with as well.At this point, I had made up my mind. I can’t do it anymore. I had to cut all ties with this man. Being friends with him is not something I wanted or needed in my life for the better. Not more than a day after this realization, I got sick! I called him out of frustration to see what his symptoms were before the new years and he had stated his health suddenly had declined drastically. He had covid! He listed all of his current symptoms and never gave an apology for exposing us to the virus. Now here I was, sick with little money to my name and no idea what my next moves were going to be. That’s when I got the phone call.My daughter’s mom was sick as well. She must have got the virus from me or him and carried it to her. I understand that it’s very easy to contract the virus and holding this man accountable for getting us all sick was probably not the best to hold onto, for my own personal mental health. But what got me was there was no apology. No remorse for his actions. That was my last straw with him. I will no longer be in contact, accept any sort of gifts or favors from this man. Ive been hurt in the past by friends and family before and I haven’t given anyone more chances than this man. But at some point, enough is enough.Looking back on all this I realize; I have a lot of faults of my own. The way I handled things and reacted towards situations could have been better. I could have saved myself a lot of pain and discomfort by doing things differently. But that’s life, the ups and downs and trials and tribulations will always be there. It’s just a matter of seeing things for what they are and cutting ties before they become too much. Since all this has happened, I have ventured out on my own and am now working at an automotive shop that has honest hard-working people. They are not out to overcharge and take advantage of the vehicle owners. I have since built up some strong friendships with some amazing human beings that see the beauty this world has to offer. My relationship with my daughter has flourished into an unbreakable bond that has an abundance of love. I found my love for writing, and reading other people’s stories that give me inspiration to be a better person not only for me, but for everyone I invite into my life. I look forward to continuing my passion for the sport of jiu jitsu. That of which requires my health to be top notch in order to keep up with pain and discomfort of certain positions.Overall, I am thankful to encounter these hard times. Good or bad, every experience is a learning experience, and the fight for happiness still remains. I have these memories to look back on for future reference. To see the signs up front before I get consumed in a mindset that takes me away from who I am as a person. I have learned that people can be easily influenced by words and materialistic things. But if you stay true to who you are, and focus on what’s right, things will always work out for the better. I myself am grateful to be strong minded enough to wake up and want to do better. An intuition I am so lucky to have followed. Because I myself, took my depressed mindset and started to understand what I truly wanted. When you are mentally strong, even the weak-minded can’t break you.</article></body>

I cant do this anymore!

I’m sure we have all heard the phrase “misery loves company”. Well, this story is a prime example of why you need to let loose the people that drag you down. The people that suck the life out of you, with no aspirations to be a better person, for themselves or for others. Now I haven’t had the worst childhood comparably speaking. But I can sit here today and say my version of discomfort and stress growing up in life has made me a better person, because I am able to learn from my mistakes and grow from them. The road to that mindset was long and hard. But seeing firsthand how some people want to complain and make excuses for their problems and blame others is a spiral to a world I never want to be a part of. A quote from inc.com says it best

“Just because you are struggling, that doesn’t mean you’re not learning. Every failure has something to teach you, and everything you learn helps you grow. If you are unwilling to learn, no one can help you; if you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.”

To me, most of the time it seems like people with little to no accomplishments are the most judgmental towards you and others. Wanting to take you away from what truly makes you happy. Ive been friends with one of the most miserable minded people out there. He was super nice to me, but horrible to everyone else around him. Like people owed him something, as if the world revolved around him. For example, while out at a restaurant, he had told me that if the waitress wasn’t there at the snap of his fingers that he would leave no tip. Implying that they were there to serve him. He was extremely rude with zero manners and respect for the person that was doing their best to make ends meet. But the worst part was it was more or less directed towards women in general.

I met him in an automotive shop. Seemingly so, the automotive industry is a very stressful place in general. The horror stories of wrong fixes and overpriced parts are more common than not. Ive even witnessed people sell parts that weren’t bad and not even put it on the car. After the customer had left, they would sell it online to triple the profits even more. Naturally, seems like a perfect fit for the mindset I am constantly trying to avoid. He would pride himself on being a terrific salesman within the industry itself. But working with him for a year and a half, I had found out he would overcharge customers, belittle and talk down to them. When they couldn’t afford his influx of parts and labor, he would laugh at them behind their back shouting out to the shop with criticisms of their life choices. But from the outside looking in, I realized the only reason he had money was because he pillaged the bank accounts of seemingly good people and ripped them off.

Foolishly, this pour work ethic was brushed aside for his kindness and generosity towards me outside of work. I would state how I wanted to save for a specific “toy”. A couple days later he would show up randomly with the exact thing I wanted. I would imply that I couldn’t accept it because I didn’t want to feel like I owed him something. In his response, “money doesn’t matter, we can make more”. “You deserve to be happy”, he would always say. Throughout my life I have never been treated with this kind of respect. Never had someone that seemed to care like he did. But as time went on, and the random gifts kept coming in, I started to get an intuition that this man’s intentions weren’t there just to make me happy. There seemed to be an underlying cause for his actions. Slowly but surely, there was a more demanding nature from this man and I couldn’t find space from him. He was always there. At times, even when I didn’t know it.

As time went on, I started to get really uncomfortable around him. He seemed to be buying my friendship, and I had let it go on for far too long. Everything in my life started to get worse, the owners at my work started to dislike me, even though I was producing the car count and wouldn’t have any come backs or bad fixes. They would cut my hours way back and make it nearly impossible to pay bills. Meanwhile, I had this guy trying to justify this as being a fault of my own. Saying I need to prioritize my money better and I shouldn’t feel bad about not being able to go have a night out to decompress, because I had to focus more on work. All while he was out buying brand new cars and bragging to me every morning about the types of things he was spending his money on. I started to get angry and lose hope because I was now struggling to put food in my mouth and pay for clothes for my daughter. But I pushed forward.

I had brought this guy to my girlfriend’s house for thanksgiving one year, because he didn’t have anyone to spend it with. Not long after, her attitude shifted and there wasn’t anything I could do to make her happy. A couple days later I found out they had traded phone numbers and have been talking frequently. At work he would tell me they had talked, meanwhile I hadn’t got a response from her all day. He told me she was fine, not to stress and to get back to work. The problem with me not being in contact with her was that she was pregnant. I am a very loyal man and will stand up for my responsibilities as a father, to raise my child in the best atmosphere possible. Anyone that knows me and my relationship with my daughter now, knows that first hand. But now having zero contact with the woman that was carrying my child, and having my hours cut back to near homelessness, was making me lose hope. I had questioned her about the lack of contact and right then and there she said she needed to take a break. I was astounded! What was I doing that was so wrong? I had no reason as to why, no explanation just “I need to take a break”.

I figured it was hormones and I gave her space. But days had passed and still, I had no contact. My “friend” would tell me she was fine and not to stress. He would tell me this was a completely messed up situation and she is completely wrong for doing this and I should probably just start getting a lawyer present for custody, if I wanted to see the child when it was born. So, I called her no answer. I texted her, no response. What kind of a relationship was I getting into if I had to ask how the mother of my unborn child was by talking to my coworker first? Not long after my text message I got a response. If you want to have any contact with your child after it is born you will have to go through your “friend”. My heart sank and my body went cold.

One of the other technicians had mentioned, that while I was gone on my day off, he would talk about how I was ruining this relationship and how horrible of a boyfriend I was. I questioned him and asked, well why is he saying that about me? When I am at work, he would tell me how horrible of a person she was and I needed to end it with her. That I needed to cut my losses with the child when it arrives. Furthermore, confusing me to the fullest and making me seem like I needed psychological help. Spinning my head into a state of confusion and discontent, I was lost and didn’t know what to do. I needed space for myself, so I focused on jiu jitsu, and signed up for one of the biggest tournaments I could be a part of.

Shortly after the tournament was over, my “friend” told me that the woman carrying my child was coming home from a party around 2 am, driving in the pouring rain, she had crashed her car into the wall of the freeway. The impact led to a miscarriage. I received a call from her later on stating that it was my fault for not reaching out more. That I should have been a better person and fought to save the relationship a little harder. I was baffled, I didn’t know how to respond. I felt like I was in a twilight zone and wanted the nightmare to end.

My misery seemed to bring this man comfort. He started showing up more frequently. The gifts were more abundant. I was in a state of depression and this man was there to comfort me with gifts and what seemed to be his friendship. I pushed aside any and all negative discomfort or painful mindsets this man had brought onto me because I was blinded by the thoughtful gifts I received from him. He would reassure me of how awesome of a person I was, and how I had changed his views on society being so hateful. “People are stupid and there is no good in the world. But you give me hope”. “So, in order to get ahead in life, you have to take advantage of everyone in it”. I started to believe it. Taking myself away from my true self, I started developing this attitude of hating everyone. I started drinking in excess and distancing myself with my daughter.

One day I woke up with a different approach. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know why my attitude shifted, but I am so grateful that it happened. I started reading. I started focusing on myself and developing a better, stronger relationship with my daughter. I got back into the gym and set goals of hiking and getting back to the old healthier and happier life style I once had. I figured if I start looking for the good in people, more positive things will come about in my life. I reached out to my friend and he had agreed that it was a great choice but there is no good in people he had reminded me. I disagreed with him and for once spoke up and said “you are wrong”! “There is good in me and there is good in others, I am determined to surround myself with those types of people”. He laughed and said “ok”.

I started reading even more, bringing up new ideas of better mindsets to him, he would then brush them off and quickly debate against any ideas I had. I started bringing up healthier food options which were quickly shunned off with more of “that stuff doesn’t work”. It was at that point that I fully became aware of the type of person he was. He didn’t want to grow; he didn’t want to better anything about his life. There was always an excuse as to why he couldn’t do something that I offered for the greater good. We had gone on a hike one day and he started getting frustrated that the people who built the trail didn’t install a hand rail for him to make his way all the way to the top easily. I laughed thinking he was joking but then he got frustrated with me and quit the hike.

I eventually started dating again, and would offer for him to come over and do things with us. Quickly understanding, that even that was a mistake because he would cause arguments with them and make it very uncomfortable to be in the same room. You could cut the tension with a knife. But the final straw was the day after new year’s. He had come over and caused more discomfort on this day of celebration. I didn’t think much into it because I understood that’s just who he was. But when he came over the next day, he had stated he wasn’t feeling well the last couple of days. During these crazy times of covid, I got upset. Seeing how my daughter and my friends were now at risk of becoming exposed to this dangerous virus. I questioned him. He had stated it was nothing to worry about and that I was over reacting. At that point I was ready to cut ties with him. Sure enough, its like he knew what I was thinking and out of nowhere he showed up with a bicycle mount for my car. My daughter rushed out of the house, greeting him with excitement and said, “dad! We can bring our bikes out anywhere we want to now”. Blinded by my daughter’s excitement, I quickly greeted him with a smile. We installed the bike mount, and proceeded on our day with our daily activities of enjoying the outdoors and taking mini road trip in town. He had mentioned to me later on, that he had completely forgotten about being sick and he noticed that during a point in time, he caught himself breathing on my neck while I was turned around talking to my daughter. I quickly became furious at this man. For one, he told me him being sick wasn’t anything to worry about it was probably just the medication he was taking that made him queasy. For two, now you being sick has exposed not only myself, but my daughter and anyone she comes in contact with as well.

At this point, I had made up my mind. I can’t do it anymore. I had to cut all ties with this man. Being friends with him is not something I wanted or needed in my life for the better. Not more than a day after this realization, I got sick! I called him out of frustration to see what his symptoms were before the new years and he had stated his health suddenly had declined drastically. He had covid! He listed all of his current symptoms and never gave an apology for exposing us to the virus. Now here I was, sick with little money to my name and no idea what my next moves were going to be. That’s when I got the phone call.

My daughter’s mom was sick as well. She must have got the virus from me or him and carried it to her. I understand that it’s very easy to contract the virus and holding this man accountable for getting us all sick was probably not the best to hold onto, for my own personal mental health. But what got me was there was no apology. No remorse for his actions. That was my last straw with him. I will no longer be in contact, accept any sort of gifts or favors from this man. Ive been hurt in the past by friends and family before and I haven’t given anyone more chances than this man. But at some point, enough is enough.

Looking back on all this I realize; I have a lot of faults of my own. The way I handled things and reacted towards situations could have been better. I could have saved myself a lot of pain and discomfort by doing things differently. But that’s life, the ups and downs and trials and tribulations will always be there. It’s just a matter of seeing things for what they are and cutting ties before they become too much. Since all this has happened, I have ventured out on my own and am now working at an automotive shop that has honest hard-working people. They are not out to overcharge and take advantage of the vehicle owners. I have since built up some strong friendships with some amazing human beings that see the beauty this world has to offer. My relationship with my daughter has flourished into an unbreakable bond that has an abundance of love. I found my love for writing, and reading other people’s stories that give me inspiration to be a better person not only for me, but for everyone I invite into my life. I look forward to continuing my passion for the sport of jiu jitsu. That of which requires my health to be top notch in order to keep up with pain and discomfort of certain positions.

Overall, I am thankful to encounter these hard times. Good or bad, every experience is a learning experience, and the fight for happiness still remains. I have these memories to look back on for future reference. To see the signs up front before I get consumed in a mindset that takes me away from who I am as a person. I have learned that people can be easily influenced by words and materialistic things. But if you stay true to who you are, and focus on what’s right, things will always work out for the better. I myself am grateful to be strong minded enough to wake up and want to do better. An intuition I am so lucky to have followed. Because I myself, took my depressed mindset and started to understand what I truly wanted. When you are mentally strong, even the weak-minded can’t break you.