I Buy Lingerie For Myself

My partners just sometimes get to enjoy it with me

The other day I was scrolling through Twitter and saw one of my favorite artists post one of the amazing pictures of her chilling with the sexiest/classiest/dopest lingerie on. A few days later she retweeted her original picture and clarified why she was in such a fancy nighttime getup.

This tweet spoke to me on a spiritual level…not because I have an obscene amount of lingerie and fancy robes (I wish!) but because I too buy lingerie to stare at myself in the mirror.

When I have some disposable income, one of my favorite things to indulge in is lingerie. I hop straight on Savage X Fenty or waltz into Victoria Secret. If I’m feeling really bougie, I’ll go to a custom lingerie shop.

I love lingerie. I love buying it, I love wearing it, and I love taking pictures in it. And I do all of these things for my own personal enjoyment.

When I’m in a store trying on a lace bodysuit or leather bustier, I’m solely thinking about if I think I’m hot in it. If someone else down the line gets to see me in said outfits, I’m happy for them. But I’m just as happy lounging on my bed by my lonesome in my silk robes.

In fact, when I have long or stressful days that is exactly what I do. I come home, shower my day away and then put on some sexy lingerie to make myself feel better. It’s one of my go-to self-care activities.

I’ll put on my garter belt, tights, and corset. Then I’ll pour myself a nice glass of red wine, maybe even put on my favorite shade of red lipstick. And I’ll do something mundane like watch Netflix but I’ll feel so badass doing so. I’ll feel sexy and confident. My tiring day will fade away with every glance in the mirror.

If I’m really in the mood I’ll listen to some of my favorite sexy songs (thank you Shakira, Ariana, and Beyonce). I might even take some artsy pictures to save for later. I do enjoy scrolling through my own nudes, nice little reminders that I’m that bitch.

I even wear lingerie to work sometimes. It makes me happy knowing that underneath my boring work attire, I’m rocking some laced teddy. If I have a stressful presentation for school, you can bet I’m wearing matching bra/underwear sets because I feel more confident in them.

I love wearing lingerie and I love wearing it for myself.

Point is, my relatively large lingerie collection is not a result of the men and women in my life. That isn’t to say I don’t wear lingerie for my partners, I do. I think that it is really fun to have someone take off my clothes and be surprised at a sexy little outfit underneath.

But I don’t buy lingerie with the intent of pleasing someone else. In fact, if I wear lingerie for my partner, it’s really a selfish act. I like the look they give when they undress me to find a garter belt or a leather strap contraption. I get off on that look.

When I buy lingerie with the intent of wearing it with someone (which does happen), I’m still buying it for myself. I’m buying it because I want that look. I’m buying it because I want to look a certain way for myself at that moment with them.

Lingerie is empowering. When I wear lingerie I feel sexy, confident, and badass. I’m not buying it for the male gaze, I’m buying it for my gaze. I like starring at myself in the mirror knowing I look like a 5'3 supermodel.

Honestly, this self-indulgent practice has made me more confident with my body and my sexuality overall. When I feel confident, I’m my sexiest self. For me, lingerie is often part of that equation.

I cannot wait to have more money so I can continue expanding my collection, I already have ideas in mind — including something similar to that insane robe Alyssa Silos was showcasing. I want to continue being my own sexual muse.

For me, lingerie has never been about pleasing other people. From the moment I tried on my first garter belt, I was hooked. I love lingerie simply because I love how I look and feel in lingerie.

If other people get to enjoy my lingerie, so be it. I’ll be wearing my sexy teddys with a silk robe whether I’m married with children or chilling at home alone with my dogs.

But at the end of the day, my lingerie collection will always be for me and me alone.

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