I Bullied a Fifth-Grade Classmate Ruthlessly

I couldn’t believe what I learned when we reconnected

Sadly, I’m infamous in Shelly Horton’s family.

They know my name well. Shelly’s kids are often told to always wear deodorant and have good personal hygiene, so they won’t be teased by someone like me — like Shelly was.

Shelly was a slightly-overweight, shy brunette girl that sat next to me in Mrs. Ault’s fifth-grade class.

And she had the most pungent body odor.

Of course, I didn’t remember bullying Shelly and sent her a friend request on Facebook. I wasn’t sure if she even remembered me.

She did. Her response left me shocked, speechless, deeply saddened, embarrassed, and on the brink of tears.

‘I used to dread walking in as the whole cluster would chant’

“Of course, I remember you … as a matter of fact quite well. In fact, my three kids even know your name!! I refer to u quite often as the little boy who sat next to me and traumatized me with his teasing. Do you remember? I can hear it like it was yesterday… “Smelly Shelly! Smelly Shelly.”

Sounds pretty funny now, but it was pretty upsetting when I was younger. I guess to everyone else it was pretty funny as you were successful in getting the whole class to chant it whenever I walked in the room. I used to dread walking into our morning cluster as the WHOLE cluster (wasn’t that like five classes?) would be chanting altogether.

Looking back, I never understood why Mrs. Ault or any other teachers ever tried to stop it. You moved away, but others enjoyed the chant and continued it through middle school. Very embarrassing, but you were right…I did smell. I was layering three shirts on at a time during the summer to try and hide my early developing body.

Now as an adult, I reference that story to my kids whenever I’m trying to teach the effect of teaching…Sincerely no hard feelings as I know that we’ve all been teased at one time or another.”

Embarrassed by my antics

I didn’t remember the story initially when I sent the Facebook invite. If I had, I’m not sure I would have sent it.

However, her vivid details of the horrific events sent me back to the bad memory, the awful kid I was, and the mean bullying I orchestrated — with the help of nearly the entire class — on poor Shelly.

How it all started

Here’s the sad story from September of 1977:

“Charley,” I said nudging my friend’s elbow as we worked on a word search before the beginning school bell rang. “Did you ever notice had awful Shelly stinks?”

“Yes! Like tuna fish, moldy cheese, and rotten eggs,” Charley responded.

“And dog farts,” Bryan chimed in from across the table.

“Hey, Shelly rhymes with smelly,” I pointed out. “Let’s all sing it when she comes in.”

Hell’s bells

The school bell rang. No Shelly. Two minutes later, The door creaked open, and nervously — her head moving in fifty different directions — Shelly, her face beet red, tried her best to sneak in. Our table of four all eyed her like hawks and started singing the awful chant right on cue.

“Shelly Smells! Shelly Smells! Shelly Smells!”

“Ok, boys. That’s enough,” gray-haired, frail Mrs. Ault said clapping her hands together meekly.

It was a disgusting daily occurrence. And each day the number of participants grew. It started as four, but by a week’s end more than half of the class was part of the act.

After moving at the end of the year, I had no idea of the trauma I had created and had long forgotten about Shelly, but little did I know that in a short few years I would become the victim of uncontrollable bullying.

Most sincere apology ever written

Embarrassed beyond belief after reading Shelly’s Facebook message, I immediately apologized numerous times with the sincerest of words possible.

Shelly appreciated my heartfelt gesture.

“Thanks, Mike, that was one of the nicest apologies I’ve received … I could hear the sincerity, and appreciate you taking the time to do that. I didn’t realize I needed to hear that. The apology is certainly accepted.”

The story, however, took an unforeseen twist when Shelly answered one of my later messages.

The 4:30 a.m. coincidence

“Holy crap, Mike the timing of your message is extremely coincidental. Too coincidental that it’s bizarre. Your message was sent at 4:30 in the morning Thursday. That’s exactly the time I got home from an extremely … life-changing…emotional crisis.”

Shelly talked about how her son David started to be bullied towards the end of the school year and would come home with pencil marks and stabs on him.

He would also go to his room to cut himself on a regular basis. Shelly worked in mental health, but even that hadn’t prepared her for having to check her son into a hospital.

‘Why does he have to be tormented? ‘

“On Thursday night, one of my good friends was with me to offer support. I shared my experience about you (sorry Mike) but told her how we became FB friends and how it was really cool how you responded. And how good it is after all these years to have you apologize.

Why do these kids HAVE to go through this? It sucks! Why does my son have to go to school and be tormented? He’s not coping with the teasing as well as I did. I’m still trying to figure out what to do? Do I send him to another school?

I remember you saying you were going to be more sensitive at your school when someone was getting teased. Then when I get home to see your message for the first time. Very weird. Please keep my son in your prayers.”

A turn for the worst

Things got worse as David was placed on several different medications, became suicidal, and had to be hospitalized five more times.

This caused him to miss school from December until April. He even ran away from home at one point.

“It’s terrible Mike. I don’t even know who he is even more. He’s not the same loving child he used to be. His whole attitude has changed. He doesn’t want to eat, and he is constantly depressed. He used to be such a happy-go-lucky kid. He used to love playing sports. Now, he wants nothing to do with sports or anything else. I just want my lovable David back.’’

Helping a friend

All I could do was keep encouraging my new Facebook friend, who I once tormented ruthlessly. It was odd that the person, who I bullied unbearably daily, was now seeking me out for support, advice, encouragement, prayers and a shoulder to lean on.

I hadn’t heard from Shelly for almost a year and feared the worst.

I didn’t want to bother her, but I couldn’t help but send a quick, short message asking how David was doing.

I received a message back an hour later.

Amazing grace

“David is finally off of medications. Hooray! I lost weight by walking many miles each day, walking off my anger. It’s weird to say, but I think that this time in his life made him a much better person. He’s more sensitive, insightful, and thoughtful to others’ feelings.

He’s assumed a counselor role with his friends. They look to him with their problems…He even has a girlfriend and there hasn’t been any talk of him wanting to hurt himself since those days.

He’s playing football and baseball and back to getting good grades in school. Bullying is so horrible. It almost took his life. What can we do to stop this from occurring? I’m just so blessed David’s story had a happy ending.”

May 4, 2022

I remember you saying you were going to be more sensitive at your school when someone was getting teased.

Then it happened. Fifth period. I noticed Cheryl Cavanough, sitting in the front row, tears pouring down her cheek, so I ask her to step outside to talk.

“Alice and Betsy said they are going to beat me up after class, because I talked funny and wear clown pants.”

I’m instantly transported back to Mrs. Ault’s fifth-grade class. Empathy erupts from me, as I too am ready to cry along with Cheryl.

Sixth period is my prep period. I keep Cheryl, Alice, and Betsy and I share with them my deepest darkest secrets of bullying Shelly relentlessly and the wicked, evil, hurtful chants I created and sang daily.

I share all the horrible experiences, hospitalization, and suicide attempts Shelly’s son went through. I also share the story of being bullied my freshman year of high school mercifully.

All three sixth-graders listen attentively to all three stories.

Followed by complete silence.

Then unrehearsed, Alice got out of her chair and walked over to Cheryl.

“I’m sorry, Cheryl,” Alice said first, followed by Betsy.

It was the last time Cheryl was teased or threatened by them again.

Thankfully, another happy ending.

Thanks for reading my story.

Scot Butwell, Lu Skerdoo, Linda Ng, PJ Kaplan, Sreese, MarkfromBoston 🌻Ukraine, Klara Jane Holloway, Bernie Pullen, Belcairn, Gerald Sturgill, Christopher Robin, Kirby Workes, Ning Choi, Melanie Workes, Jane Kelley, Susan Wheelock, Susan Christiana, Ginger Cook, Indigo.

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