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1522

Abstract

to buy just a little more time.</p><p id="d392">But being sober too soon means that I need to make up my mind. And face the truth. And this hurts more than the lie does.</p><p id="fe49">Learning to trust no one but me is painful. I know the truth and I trust myself that I will be ok.</p><p id="047a">Should I have the truth or the treaty? I don’t know.</p><p id="db48">Now I mistake the truth with common sense. I always forget that common sense is not that common anymore.</p><p id="6c12">But believing the lies a little longer buys me time. Time to cope with pain. Time to regroup. Time to return to whom I needed to trust in the first place, myself.</p><div id="686b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@janette.moore/courage-is-not-rare-you-got-it-all-wrong-c8a46114f712"> <div> <div> <h2>Courage is Not Rare. I Got it all Wrong.</h2> <div><h3>I may be more courageous than I think.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Rmzy5luaPbinPFpP)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a964" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@janette.moore/find-out-what-negative-people-do-and-dont-do-it-65a5686f5072"> <div> <div> <h2>Find Out What Negative People Do And Don’t Do It!</h2

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            <div><h3>Cultivating positivity takes work.</h3></div>

            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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      <a href="https://readmedium.com/happily-ever-after-starts-with-you-e16a5a01c052">
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          <div>
            <h2>Happily Ever After Starts With You</h2>
            <div><h3>You just need to develop self-Love first.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*MgWkxrY-iFj_Lu9m)"></div>
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    </div><div id="787a" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://medium.com/@janette.moore/tell-me-when-b6bb33eca98c">
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          <div>
            <h2>A Poem of a Depressive Handbag dog.</h2>
            <div><h3>About Pets that like to Travel</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ydBiLK8w2R5zgSt56_BHuA.jpeg)"></div>
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I Believe Lies

This way I learn to trust no one but me.

I’ve lived a little, loved a little.

I got some kind of perspective of love. Different than yours, that’s obvious.

But I am not ready always to let lies to manifest in my life.

Lying in wait is going to lie heavy on me. If you’re gonna lie to me, I will lie to myself too.

Tell a lie big enough and I will believe it too.

My lies are better

Lies I tell myself are better than the lies you tell me.

I believe lies when I feel too vulnerable to allow the truth to come out. I believe my lies. I prefer my lies.

Lying is second nature to you. Not to me. When I feel terribly betrayed I like to convince myself of a lie a little bit longer.

I know that there are more layers underneath. More layers of pain. And that I can not escape. So, I use lies just like an anesthetic to my good judgment …just for a little while.

Delaying the pain of reality will not make the truth go away. I know. I want to buy just a little more time.

But being sober too soon means that I need to make up my mind. And face the truth. And this hurts more than the lie does.

Learning to trust no one but me is painful. I know the truth and I trust myself that I will be ok.

Should I have the truth or the treaty? I don’t know.

Now I mistake the truth with common sense. I always forget that common sense is not that common anymore.

But believing the lies a little longer buys me time. Time to cope with pain. Time to regroup. Time to return to whom I needed to trust in the first place, myself.