Summary

The author reflects on their complex relationship with food and photography, detailing personal struggles with body image and the challenge of capturing appealing food photographs despite a deep appreciation for culinary experiences.

Abstract

The author shares a personal journey of food appreciation, from childhood memories of meat-centered meals to a current vegetarian lifestyle, while grappling with societal pressures on body image and the internalization of cultural attitudes towards weight. They acknowledge the difficulty of mastering food photography, with their images often reflecting ambivalence towards the subject. Despite this, the author finds joy and nostalgia in food photos that capture social gatherings, family celebrations, and the vibrant colors of market produce, while also confronting the bittersweet reminders of time's passage and loss. Living in Paris, the author embraces the city's food culture, advocating for quality ingredients and simple, enjoyable meals on a budget.

Opinions

The author has a complex relationship with food, enjoying it while also dealing with the societal and personal pressures of body image.
They express a sense of loss and nostalgia when reflecting on food photographs that feature now-deceased loved ones and the youthful appearances of family and friends.
The author admits to struggling with food photography, attributing the mediocre quality of their food shots to their own ambivalence and lack of mastery in photographing food.
Despite past difficulties, they have better success with photography in markets, capturing the beauty of fresh produce.
The author values quality ingredients and home-cooked meals over expensive bistro dining in Paris.
There is an acknowledgment of internalized societal "fat phobia" and the ongoing struggle to overcome it.
The author plans to continue enjoying food, as evidenced by their interest in YouTube videos featuring indulgent meals, and intends to improve their food photography skills.

I Asked My Computer to Show Me My Food Photos

It was a rough ride

I loved this ambiguous café sign in Antwerp. Photo by author.

I do love food. I have no allergies. I am a vegetarian, for ethical reasons, but when a little meat slips onto my plate, I don’t push it away. (That would be rude.)

I had to capture the graffiti. Yeah, it says what you think it says. Photo by author.

I miss eating meat, I have to admit. I grew up with meat. Roast beef — steak — burgers — lamb — pork chops. Bacon. Turkey at Thanksgiving.

And chicken. I really miss chicken.

On the other hand, I am one of those millions of modern humans, probably mostly female, who have entertained a difficult if not tortured relationship to food.

I was a heavy adolescent in a world that valued thinness and taught us that gaining weight displayed moral weakness. In those vulnerable and desperate teenage years, I ate a lot of bad food: white bread, heaping plates of spaghetti, french fries, pizza, candy, cake, cookies, Coke (wow, so many C words). And lots of meat.

It took me years to shed the extra poundage, and now that I have passed my [some big number] birthday, I find it more difficult to fend off the creeping bulges — despite a really modest caloric intake. I mean, really.

Yes, these punitive ideas about body image came from outside — from my culture, my family — but wow did I internalize them. True and embarrassing confession: after all this time I have not shaken off the culture’s fat phobia.

I feel compelled to be honest about this, and I apologize for it.

So, yes, I love good food, and I love eating, but I guess I’ve been lucky to escape clinical-level disorders, given my receptivity to the culture’s messages about women’s bodies.

It is not surprising, then, that despite many years of serious photography, I have not mastered food shots.

I tried many perspectives on this row of delicious pizzas, but couldn’t quite get the photo.

So to get in on this month’s celebration of food, I asked iPhoto to pull up my food photos. The AI offered me an incoherent collection of mostly mediocre shots. That’s not down to the computer. That’s my failure to master food photography. If you’re ambivalent about your subject, your photos may show just that.

Yum! But come on — this could have been so much better. Photo by author.

Ditto. Food doesn’t even move, at least in places I have lived. It couldn’t be that hard to capture an enticing shot. Photo by author.

I have better luck with market shots of unwrapped food. How wrong can one go shooting piles of gorgeously tinted produce?

In the midst of the pandemic, New Seasons Market in Portland tried to bring us holiday cheer. Photo by author.

A farmer’s market in New Jersey. Photo by author.

I love these colorful images of plenitude.

What my photos did show me was years of social gatherings, family celebrations, church lunches, camp barbecues, and city outings.

These bring me sorrow and regret as well as joy. Some of the photos capture people who have since died. Many of the photos show folks, including me, whose skin was a bit tighter and whose hair was a different color a few years back. And the kids….the toddler, the eight-year-old, the high school graduate. Their smiles are more complicated now. They’ve seen a bit more sorrow, too.

I can’t use most of these photos, because they were taken in private situations. Here’s one that I can show. The juicy salmon glows in the late afternoon sun, and the people are unidentifiable.

Ah,the Pacific Northwest! Photo by author.

Now I live in Paris and for heaven’s sake, this is not the place to indulge anti-food issues. Even on a small budget, you can eat well. You pick and choose in the markets and the grocery stores: avoid the prepackaged stuff; buy a range of spices; get fresh produce; use beans, peas, eggs, and whole grains for protein; indulge your penchant for modestly priced wine and tasty Belgian beers.

Not an elegant shot, but definitely a tasty meal. Photo by author.

Eat the best bread in the world.

Only rarely do I treat myself to the blow-out meals offered by the bistros here. That can be kind of expensive, though fun.

Recently I spent an evening watching YouTube videos of a couple enjoying restaurant meals in various French cities. I watched myself watch these with increasing amusement. I loved their passion for the food and wine they were served; I loved their ability to eat three huge meals in one day; I loved their choice to let middle-aged spread mean less to them than the luscious food they shared with such gusto.

Yes, I’m gonna watch more of those videos. I’ll also work on my food photography.

Life is short. Eat.