I Asked ChatGPT for the TRUTH About the iPhone

And, yes, if you know, YOU KNOW

I woke up this morning with the stark realisation that I haven’t written a single ChatGPT-inspired blog post.

What kind of content creator am I? How can I not have already threaded the meteoric (and, frankly, frightening) rise of AI into every single piece of content I’ve written since ChatGPT became household table talk?

Today, I’m going to put that right by having a bit of fun with Mr GPT.

I asked it a very simple question which was laced with the opportunity for weird computer-generated opinions, half-truths, and questionable sources.

“Give me 20 things only iPhone users know and make them funny,” I asked.

This is what ChatGPT spat out, complete with my reaction to each one.

20 things only iPhone users know (generated by AI)

The iPhone has a passionate, loyal, and, at times, incredibly blinkered audience. I sit firmly within it which means I have a strong grasp on what it’s really like to own Apple’s smartphone.

The truth about the iPhone only becomes apparent after several years of ownership. I’m therefore fascinated to see what an artificially intelligent chatbot can come up with in five seconds.

Let’s react!

ChatGPT: The joy of watching your Android-using friends struggle to airdrop files.

We’ll forgive the robot for failing to capitalise ‘AirDrop’, but I’m not convinced Android users do much airdropping.

Do they? Is there even the equivalent on Android? I confess it’s something I’ve never looked into — maybe I should.

ChatGPT: The frustration of autocorrect changing “duck” to “ducking” for the millionth time.

Oh yes. And we all know you’re not referring to ‘duck’ or ‘ducking’, Mr GPT — you’ve masked the profanity (brilliantly, I might add) in the exact same way iOS does. Every. Single. Time.

In fact, iOS steadfastly refuses to let you type several words without heading into autocorrect mode. ‘Hell’ is another extremely frustrating example.

Android, tellingly, doesn’t have as much of a problem with such words.

ChatGPT: The temptation to upgrade to the latest iPhone every year, even though your bank account says no.

Is that still true now? I’m not convinced.

The iPhone plateaued two or three years ago in terms of meaningful upgrades, and I’m not convinced the likes of the Dynamic Island are enough to retain the desire for anyone but the ultra fan to continually upgrade.

Although, ChatGPT doesn’t have the best recent memory, I appreciate.

ChatGPT: The sense of superiority you feel when someone asks for your phone charger and you pull out your lightning cable.

No.

Come on. Seriously? I knew AI could be a bit temperamental, but this is ridiculous.

Who do you call when you find a bug in ChatGPT?

ChatGPT: The relief of knowing you can use Apple Pay at the vending machine when you forget your wallet.

We’re pretty lucky in the UK — we’ve had access to contactless payments for a lot longer than certain other countries.

This resulted in a sharp uptake of Apple Pay over here; it has certainly been a constant in my life for the last few years.

But, yes, it is ultra convenient.

ChatGPT: The realization that Siri is not as smart as she thinks she is.

It’s such a shame, but this is true.

As you might know, we’re conducting a Siri-only experiment at home at the moment and it has been a frustrating experience thus far.

Apple’s digital assistant is slow to respond, easily confused by requests relating to HomePods, struggles with cross device communication, and often gives up entirely.

It is so far behind the likes of Alexa and Google Assistant.

ChatGPT: The ability to quickly unlock your phone with Face ID, unless you’re wearing a mask.

Face ID is still the best facial recognition system I’ve come across on a smartphone, but my desire for Touch ID to make a return on all-screen iPhones remains.

And as for the mask thing, well, thankfully, we’re largely past that period of our lives, but there’s a workaround if you’ve got an Apple Watch.

ChatGPT: The excitement of getting a new set of animojis with every software update.

I couldn’t care less about Animojis. Like most people, I created one when they first arrived and now it does nothing more than irritate me when I’m looking for ‘traditional’ emoji.

ChatGPT: The fear of dropping your phone and shattering the screen, but still refusing to put a case on it.

I used to be part of that crew, but I’m not any more, due in part to an increasing clumsiness which arrives with age, and, well, YouTube sponsorships.

ChatGPT: The annoyance of constantly being asked to update your software.

Apple is pretty good to us with this — certainly far better than Samsung (which seems to update its devices every single day).

By comparison, iOS updates are few and far between each year — they never feel like a burden.

This feels like a very generic response, Mr GTP.

ChatGPT: The joy of easily switching between your Apple devices with AirPods, iPad, and MacBook all synced up.

I think this is referring to the automatic device switching feature built into AirPods, AirPods Pro and AirPods Max.

It works brilliantly on the second-generation AirPods Pro, but it remains a bit temperamental on the others, I’m afraid. A classic example of tech trying to be too smart.

ChatGPT: The satisfaction of using Apple Maps to get somewhere faster than your Google Maps-using friends.

Nope.

Although, in fairness, I’ve had more success with Apple Maps than some folk. It’s just that, well, Google Maps always works.

ChatGPT: The disappointment of not being able to customize your home screen like Android users can.

We’re getting there with this. The introduction of widgets in iOS 14 gave iPhone users some much needed respite from the age-old tiling of app icons.

Last year, we received a far more inventive and fun Lock Screen, too. But there’s one thing that still ruins all of this — ‘Jiggle Mode’, which is still bum-clenchingly irritating and unusable.

ChatGPT: The guilt of knowing you spend too much time on your iPhone, but still can’t put it down.

I’m lucky (if you can call it that). I always have access to two smartphones — one of the iPhone variety, the other from the world of Android.

That means I do put my iPhone down quite a lot. Particularly when something like the S23 Ultra comes along and provides an exciting alternative to my usual daily driver.

ChatGPT: The delight of having access to exclusive apps like GarageBand and iMovie.

I’ve never used GarageBand or iMovie on my iPhone and I don’t know anyone who has.

Do you?

ChatGPT: The frustration of having to use iTunes to manage your music library.

I think you need to update your knowledge banks, Mr GPT. iTunes has been consigned to the history books; the only remnant of it is the iTunes Store app on the iPhone.

We’ve moved on a bit since the days of having to plug your chunky iPod into your laptop in order to sync your songs and playlists.

ChatGPT: The satisfaction of having a great camera that takes stunning photos.

This is utterly true. As much as I love the cameras on devices like the Pixel series (which still takes the best-looking shots, to my eye) and the S23 Ultra, nothing beats the reliance of an iPhone’s camera system.

No matter the conditions or the subject, the iPhone nails it 99% of the time. That’s all you want from a smartphone camera; it should capture the moment in front of you immediately — no messing — and it seems that the competition still can’t match Apple in this regard.

ChatGPT: The annoyance of constantly being reminded to backup your data to iCloud.

Erm.

I don’t think I’ve ever been reminded to do that by an Apple device.

Anyone?

ChatGPT: The relief of knowing your iPhone is secure with Touch ID or Face ID.

Absolutely. Although, I still dearly wish that Apple would give us Touch ID beneath the display and revert to a pin-hole camera instead of Monkey Island.

ChatGPT: The shock of realizing how much money you’ve spent on the App Store over the years.

I have no idea what that figure amounts to and absolutely no desire to find out, thank you very much, Mr GPT.

Wrapping up

That wasn’t bad, was it? There are clearly some serious knowledge gaps in ChatGPT land, but it’s almost as if the infamous digital helper robot has actually owned an iPhone at some point in its life.

But what did it miss? Get involved in the comments and tell me you’re an iPhone owner without telling me you’re an iPhone owner!

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Originally published at https://markellisreviews.com on April 4, 2023.