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Abstract

alkativeShe still couldn’t get everyone’s name right. We ate some cake and laughed and talked. Then we all went to our rooms to watch T.V.At approximately fifteen minutes after nine. I remember because The X Files was on. My sister runs into my bedroom crying.I ran to the Master Bedroom. My mom was lying on the bed groaning. “ Lawson, call 911.” My uncle told me as my dad tried to comfort my mom.I called 911 and hung up and got dressed. The paramedics arrived and took her to the Hospital. We were right behind them in the mini-van.She was gone before we got to the Hospital.My mom did her best to shelter me her whole life. I was “ Brain Damaged.” I was Dyslexic and there were things I couldn’t do. She also protected me from my dad.Because he was too mean and too much of a disciplinarian. He was a life-long soldier after all.It took a while. But I learned that my dad wasn’t the ogre I believed he was. After a lifetime of not getting along, we finally learned to talk to each other and show each other love.But in the weeks following my mom’s death, I thought he was going to throw me out and move away to start a new life.Part of that was my mom’s influence. We were bo

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th convinced that was my dad’s plan.It was the furthest thing from his mind. I manned up for the first time in my life. I learned how real men acted and talked to each other and I quit wearing my feelings on my sleeve.My dad encouraged me to be more independent. I did things on my own more often and my confidence grew.My dad and uncle and I built a good life together. It lasted twelve years.My dad died six weeks after they found the Cancer.I had opened my first checking account a few years earlier. At this point, the only bills I had were credit cards and car insurance and car payments.I had to sell my dad’s house. Hire the Realtor and do the paperwork. I also had to pay mortgage payments and utility bills while my uncle and I lived in the house plus I had to find a new place to live.I got it done. I had been convinced all my life that I was too diminished to do anything. But I did it.I am stronger and more resilient than I ever knew. I have been knocked down but got back up.I have learned at a late age that life isn’t easy and that I will fail again and again. But as long as I get back up and keep fighting things will work out.Never give up.</article></body>

I am stronger than I thought I was

And so are you

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

My mom’s last birthday is a day I will never forget. We had received a hopeful report from the Neurosurgeon. The Brain tumor was shrinking.

I worked shift work and I was very tired that day. She wanted me to ride with her and my uncle. She wanted to see the beach again. I said I didn’t want to go.

I slept while uncle Richard took her to the beach. That evening I was off. Richard fixed a nice meal and later we had a Birthday cake my dad had bought.

My mom was able to talk to my brother and his family. They were living in Japan at the time. She was also able to talk to my brother in South Carolina.

She seemed almost her old self. The tumor had robbed her of her memories and her personality. That night she was laughing and talkative

She still couldn’t get everyone’s name right. We ate some cake and laughed and talked. Then we all went to our rooms to watch T.V.

At approximately fifteen minutes after nine. I remember because The X Files was on. My sister runs into my bedroom crying.

I ran to the Master Bedroom. My mom was lying on the bed groaning. “ Lawson, call 911.” My uncle told me as my dad tried to comfort my mom.

I called 911 and hung up and got dressed. The paramedics arrived and took her to the Hospital. We were right behind them in the mini-van.

She was gone before we got to the Hospital.

My mom did her best to shelter me her whole life. I was “ Brain Damaged.” I was Dyslexic and there were things I couldn’t do. She also protected me from my dad.

Because he was too mean and too much of a disciplinarian. He was a life-long soldier after all.

It took a while. But I learned that my dad wasn’t the ogre I believed he was. After a lifetime of not getting along, we finally learned to talk to each other and show each other love.

But in the weeks following my mom’s death, I thought he was going to throw me out and move away to start a new life.

Part of that was my mom’s influence. We were both convinced that was my dad’s plan.

It was the furthest thing from his mind. I manned up for the first time in my life. I learned how real men acted and talked to each other and I quit wearing my feelings on my sleeve.

My dad encouraged me to be more independent. I did things on my own more often and my confidence grew.

My dad and uncle and I built a good life together. It lasted twelve years.

My dad died six weeks after they found the Cancer.

I had opened my first checking account a few years earlier. At this point, the only bills I had were credit cards and car insurance and car payments.

I had to sell my dad’s house. Hire the Realtor and do the paperwork. I also had to pay mortgage payments and utility bills while my uncle and I lived in the house plus I had to find a new place to live.

I got it done. I had been convinced all my life that I was too diminished to do anything. But I did it.

I am stronger and more resilient than I ever knew. I have been knocked down but got back up.

I have learned at a late age that life isn’t easy and that I will fail again and again. But as long as I get back up and keep fighting things will work out.

Never give up.