“I Am Sitting by Her Bedside Right Now Begging Her Not To Leave Me… Keep Me and My Baby Girl in Your Prayers.”

Please join me in and oblige me by praying for my friend and her daughter in the not traditional manner I shall discuss herein — it takes a village

So much synchronicity lands me here, asking you all to join me in a form of prayer I learned from White Feather but before I bury the lede, I’ll let my friend’s words and the energy she broadcast and you shall receive speak for themselves.

“I have some tragic news that happened to my daughter Marissa. On Mother’s Day, she was brought to the hospital with extreme dehydration — her potassium and magnesium were almost nonexistent. One of the cockroaches that she dragged home from rehab took her to the hospital. She started to seize and then went into cardiac arrest. For 30 minutes! The scum that was with her called me and started the conversation by saying Marissa had no pulse. … I have never felt this kind of fear or pain in my life. Please pray for her! I was going to call you and let you know, but it’s so hard for me to talk about it and it’s also not wanting to put this kind of shit on you.”

Whoa, not the response I expected to my text that started the conversation, which ironically, was about alcohol and a realization I had about why she and I feel it makes us more psychic. Her response started with “I would agree” and then in the same text came the rest.

What should I say, runs through my mind. What’s the right thing to say? How do I help? Should I try to help or just express sympathy?

He had a wonderful knack for the delicate and fine art of consoling, of sympathetic sharing and easing of sorrow when one of his friends was in distress. — Hermann Hesse

(Synchronicity — I reached that page in Peter Camenzind a little while after I finished texting her. I hope I emulated Peter’s friend Richard)

I began with:

“You should have called me. I know being friends with a client is a difficult set of boundaries to navigate but Anne, you know where my heart goes and you sharing with me would not have been a burden on me. What are you doing for self-care? Do you have the strength to channel your own guides? Should you call that [other] psychic you mentioned to me?”

“That’s a good idea but I’m so afraid to hear bad news. On Friday they pretty much said that she had no shot and I think I may have become psychotic. My son [readers, he’s a neuropsychiatrist in training] said it was some kind of bereavement, but not insanity. Anyway, I sat by the side of her bed, and thought she was about three years old and she has all these tubes in her and I was imagining I was starting to take her tubes out. Thank God I didn’t get close enough I could have killed her.

When I got home that night I started to curse God like I have never cursed out anybody in my life and believe me I have had my moments. I started to cry hysterically and I wasn’t able to stop and I didn’t want to stop and then I said to Marissa, ‘I know you are in heaven’ and I heard her say as if she were in the room:

‘I am not in heaven anymore Mom I am back in my body and it hurts, it hurts so bad.’

Then on Monday, there was this black butterfly that landed on my terrace. It was so black it looked like velvet and it had royal blue on the tips of its wings. I thought that she had died because it was so black. When I looked up the meaning of it, it said tenacity, strength, and recovery, so I don’t know who sent that to me. Probably her father because he can’t have her. She is staying with me until my last breath if God wills it. I am sorry I didn’t tell you but it’s so hard for me to put this burden on anybody that I care about.”

Now I am feeling both empathy and annoyance. What is it with empaths always helping but not asking for help?

“It’s not a fucking burden on me,” I say.

As readers saw in the headline, she replied: “OK. I am sitting by her bedside right now begging her not to leave me. I am not good right now. Keep me and my baby girl in your prayers. Talk soon.”

I replied, “Will do. I feel you.”

Then I took 20 minutes to gather my thoughts and I texted, with thoughts of Neale Donald Walsch’s quote from God in my mind:¹

“Maybe don’t beg her not to leave you, which may make her feel worse. Maybe ask her to find the strength to face her life and heal. Tell her it’s not up to us when we die but it is up to us how we live and you know she has the divine spark in her to live joyously and you can’t wait to see that twinkle in her eye. Act like it’s a given, not a request. Express gratitude that it will happen like it already has.”

Then I continued, “But I learned an even better way to pray from reading White Feather on Medium” and this is how I would ask all of you to pray for them. White Feather wrote what I suspect is a Native American spirituality-based fiction of a stranger advising a settlement suffering from a severe drought how to pray for rain.

“When you are dehydrated and pray for rain to come nature FEELS your current situation and gives you more of it. It supports what you are FEELING. If you are intensely FEELING dehydration that is what nature will give you because that is how nature reads what you want.”

Much head scratching and beard scratching ensued.

The stranger continued, “Nature does not listen to what is in your noggins. It listens to what is in your hearts. What you FEEL, it feeds.”

The scratching intensified.

“If you will allow me, I would like to propose a solution to your predicament.”

The scratching stopped and ears perked up. The people were desperate and ready to try anything.

“First of all, stop praying for rain. Completely. Instead of coming together to pray collectively, come together to FEEL collectively. Leave your noggins out of it and just FEEL. Don’t think.”

“The entire settlement must come together in the morning just after sunrise and FEEL rain. FEEL what it is like being drenching wet. FEEL the water pouring over you. FEEL your naked feet standing in mud. FEEL the water nourishing you and your crops. FEEL the taste of water in your mouths. FEEL the joy of dancing in the rain. Simply FEEL everything that is good about water. FEEL it in your hearts as intensely as you can. FEEL it as though it is happening in the present moment.”

“Do this for three days and on the third day it will rain.”

With this, the visitor picked up his bag and left, never to be seen again.

The elders quickly agreed to try this as an experiment. They called a meeting of all settlement members and explained the instructions of what they would do. All praying was stopped during the experiment.

The people did this for three days and around noon on the third day large gray clouds appeared.

When the first raindrops began falling everyone who was not already outside came out of their homes. All eighty-seven members of the settlement stood on the ground — most of them barefoot — as the rain intensified, quickly drenching them all.

The collective joy was palpable — just as it was during their collective sunrise FEELING ceremonies.

Nature brought the people what they were FEELING.”

So I said to Anne, “Let's collectively feel in our hearts her life and not let fear of her death be what we are feeling. Try not to fear her leaving you but feel in your heart the love of her being alive and with you.”

How shall I do this, I thought to myself. How can I broadcast the right feelings from my heart? After all, unlike the settlers who were all in the same boat — no matter how much empathy I have, I am not in Anne’s shoes. One thought was I can think about the joy that I get from my children and hope that amplifies thoughts of the joy that Anne will feel when her daughter recovers. Then I thought I can write a poem of prayer and post it, which I may still do, either in this post or separately. Then I thought, thinking of the settlers, I’ll simply ask all of you to pray by feeling along with us.

If you want to also pray your way, please do.

Dear Team Rama and my guides Dearly departed Sitara, Andrew, Jason, Willie I open my portal with gratitude for guidance Thank you for sharing feelings of love and light

Feel Eternal love of parent for child Energy of the sun Life

Thanks for not letting Marissa depart I know like Jason she didn’t want to live I know pain has taken root in her heart Thanks for showing all she’s so much to give

Thank you Universe for Anne’s butterfly So many layers with each flap of wings Spiritual decoding endless sky Thank you for these lyrics to Anne I sing

Oh the dissonance that rings in your mind Curse with Irish at bible created God Forgetting Alpine guide dreamy and kind Marissa’s soul roots like replanted sod

So fear not God-channel I owe so much Marissa’s soul remains and you shall touch

Feel Eternal love of parent for child Energy of the sun Life

[6/6/23 Edit

I posted an update on her condition and an additional poem a couple of days ago:

end edit]

Oh to tag or not to tag. This is too important to leave in the hands of the algorithm and the “glitchy” subscriber notification system and I won’t hope for a boost. So, starting with my subscribers, please feel Marissa’s soul and animus emerge from her chrysalis: DJ Hopkins G.R. MELVIN Kelly Priyanka Priyadarshini Benighted Jenine “Jeni” Baines jules — Miz Mindful Scott Tarlo Josh Balerite Acol Diana Meresc Shirley Willett Subhasinghe SPS Kelley Murphy Francisco Iglesias Millenium voice T. V. Knight Ufrancis Joe Merkle John Cunningham Ejm Rebecca Romanelli SAP5683 Patricia Ross Rip Parker ANDRIA ANDERSON Donald Gibson Anthi Psomiadou KaliAvatar.com Cabbage1ady Raja Muhammad Mustansar Javaid Glorie Lee Jm Brian G (aka ‘bumpyjonas’) — he/him Gabriel Aryeh Elizabeth Emerald Elizabeth Sobieski Carol McClain Craver Jesse Wilson Noorain Ali carl goldscheider Adesola Orimalade Art Bram Patrick OConnell Susan Farmer Jessica White Aegirl Amy Sea Sparklez Eternity Green Joker Ariadne Ross David Pahor Life is Amazing with Books and Writers Marilyn Flower Gadwall Jackson David Perlmutter Roxanne Barbour Tara Desai PhD YAW AMOAH Jerry Fields Catherine Moore James Ernest lobue Jennifer Hooper Jessicay Ella Ann Libby Shively McAvoy Dr Mehmet Yildiz Ravyne Hawke Chris Price Patricia Ann Rogers (MadRobin) Pamela Oglesby Mark Goblowsky

Now other friends, with apologies to anyone I do not think of, please add your prayer of feelings: Joseph Lieungh Diana C. Spyder Brooklyn Muse (editor) Maria Rattray Nicola DiSvevia Douglas Giles, PhD (your piece today is part of the synchronicity) Graham Pemberton Kim Petersen Kira Dawn Joe Moody Jodie Helm Julius Evans John Ege Natasha MH Dr. Preeti Singh Britt H. Henya Drescher Genius Turner Roxy Wright Terry Pottinger Tara Desai PhD Ilis Trudie Palmer Chelsea Mandler MAT Roz Warren, Writing Coach Mapping the Medium with Sarah C Tyrrell Miriam Rachel Elena Cooper Desiree Driesenaar Frank Ontario | empathy, logic, love. Claire Kelly A.P. Bird Kat Medium Heather Woods Beverly Eden

In Rama I create, with soul energy surging through my body, inspiring me and breathing wind into my sails,

Marcus (Gregory Maidman)

End note:

¹ “When you thank God in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you, in effect, acknowledge that it is there…in effect. Thankfulness is thus the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you ask, I have answered.”