I Am One of Those Writers Close to Quitting

A wave of doubt just came over me

I never thought I’d be here but a wave of doubt just came over me. I honestly thought about quitting Medium.

I was writing an article about Paris and thought to myself, “Who the hell is going to read this? You’re not interesting or a creator like all these other writers. You’re not a digital nomad or travel blogger. You’re not witty. Just quit.”

Before this, I read an article by Adrian Drew on “Why your articles suck.” I agree with many of his points. Some of my articles do suck, which is part of the writing process. We all don’t wake up and write like Hemingway.

I have also seen writers discussing how many writers are no longer on the platform. Judy Derby observed this in her recent article below.

After some thought, I think I know why they left. Because they feel like they suck.

I do suck at times

Let me be real — I do suck at times. I’m not putting in countless hours to my writing. I don’t have 3 tweets a day saying something inspirational. And sometimes I don’t read as many articles as I should on Medium.

I split my time between Medium, my day job, and freelance writing (which is my goal). But then I open up Medium and see lists of content on “Why you shouldn’t be a freelance writer if you don’t do this.” (internal scream)

It makes you question everything.

Successful writers seem to have a formula I can’t figure out but I do try to learn from them. Be authentic — I thought I was. Be consistent — Ok I definitely can work on that. Be controversial — again I thought I was.

After some self-reflection, I realized that these successful writers don’t get swallowed by self-doubt. They keep going, find their flow, and press on. This is what sets them apart.

Also, it depends on your goal and how you define success. I’ve never sat down and reassessed my “why” or what success means to me. This can leave many of us scrambling and not having a “why” to come back to when the negative voice creeps in.

But I don’t want to quit

I want to stay here and fight it out. I even wrote a goal for myself to reach 1k followers by the end of the year and to publish 3 articles a week. Also, to join the $100 club. (Something in me wants this so badly.)

There are two sides to me — the girl who wants to keep going and the one swallowed by self-doubt.

I’m inspired by so many writers on this platform, especially ones who are unapologetically themselves and have found their flow like Gabby Gabs and Camille Prairie.

Many of us have felt this at some point

The pangs of insignificance, the self-doubt, and the comparison trap can be ruinous.

Wondering why you keep showing up to write. Mulling over what you might be doing wrong. And possibly being stuck in an insanity loop of doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

I want all writers to succeed and thrive but the truth is we all can’t be Medium influencers.

We all can’t have humongous audiences. And sometimes we choose to write about what we need for our soul, rather than for everyone else.

We need to figure out how to define success. For some, that means more followers, more likes, and more reach. For others, it could be having an impact on a few readers.

So I turn the question to you Medium family, Have you ever wanted to quit? How did you work through it?

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This article is part of the 60-day writing challenge. (№ 22)