avatarChristopher Madsen

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Abstract

”. The thought of letting go of a pain I believe is an abandonment of universal justice.</p><p id="e722">They must pay for what has been done! Then I will relive their actions repeatedly. I will not forget.</p><p id="08e0">I sentence myself to a silent prison with my pain. The duration of my stay may diminish over time, but without a moment's notice, I will find myself once again caged.</p><p id="b1d4">I could have been away for months or even years. Then in an instant find my prized buried emotions shouting warnings for me to listen. A reminder that life is not safe. Ignited once again by some benign event because I refused to pay attention to them.</p><p id="87c8">I’ve heard testimonials surrounding the power of forgiveness. Yet, still, I find it difficult to forgive so easily. The emotions created from these past traumas must be heard. I need to understand their lessons I have ignored through diversions over my lifetime of regret.</p><p id="3c88">In order t

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o first gain the wisdom being offered from these emotions, I need to feel into the pain I don’t want to see. To wake the fear of a difficult conversation with myself. I begin with no longer giving this part of me a place to hide. I will engage with my lifelong friend who has been patiently sitting in the cage waiting for me to listen.</p><p id="070d">I am a forgiving person when I engage with my emotions. Only once I have given life to the emotions buried inside of my body can I move forward from the experience.</p><p id="650d">I refuse to keep ignoring my collection of captured pain that becomes activated throughout the day. I need to question my anger from a perceived wrong and listen to its wisdom. The emotions stored inside are here to protect me and offer guidance. I will honor them by listening. Then I will be ready to let them go through an act of forgiveness.</p><p id="52dc">Copyright 2021 <a href="undefined">Christopher Madsen</a></p></article></body>

I am Not a Forgiving Person

The need to acknowledge emotion before forgiveness

Photo by Ian on Unsplash

I find it challenging to forgive others for actions that purposely cause harm to myself or others. I have a tendency to believe that to offer forgiveness means I am giving something personal away. The right to feel pain from a heartbreak, anger over an injustice, or a held fear from lost innocence.

I hold on to these emotions as a prize for living through the event. The idea of offering forgiveness so easily is unappealing. I instantly reject it as a proclamation that, “I am all better”. The thought of letting go of a pain I believe is an abandonment of universal justice.

They must pay for what has been done! Then I will relive their actions repeatedly. I will not forget.

I sentence myself to a silent prison with my pain. The duration of my stay may diminish over time, but without a moment's notice, I will find myself once again caged.

I could have been away for months or even years. Then in an instant find my prized buried emotions shouting warnings for me to listen. A reminder that life is not safe. Ignited once again by some benign event because I refused to pay attention to them.

I’ve heard testimonials surrounding the power of forgiveness. Yet, still, I find it difficult to forgive so easily. The emotions created from these past traumas must be heard. I need to understand their lessons I have ignored through diversions over my lifetime of regret.

In order to first gain the wisdom being offered from these emotions, I need to feel into the pain I don’t want to see. To wake the fear of a difficult conversation with myself. I begin with no longer giving this part of me a place to hide. I will engage with my lifelong friend who has been patiently sitting in the cage waiting for me to listen.

I am a forgiving person when I engage with my emotions. Only once I have given life to the emotions buried inside of my body can I move forward from the experience.

I refuse to keep ignoring my collection of captured pain that becomes activated throughout the day. I need to question my anger from a perceived wrong and listen to its wisdom. The emotions stored inside are here to protect me and offer guidance. I will honor them by listening. Then I will be ready to let them go through an act of forgiveness.

Copyright 2021 Christopher Madsen

Self
Self Improvement
Forgiveness
Understanding
Illumination
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