I Am Grateful For My Failures
I no longer see them as failures. I see them as lessons.
To fail at anything is awful, sometimes heartbreaking, and always difficult. Over time and hours of reflection, I’ve realized it’s a gift. I’m grateful for my failures because they’ve shaped my successes.
For years I avoided things because I was afraid of failing. I wasted so much time obsessing over it. In my early twenties I worked for a man who used to say that problems were opportunities. It stuck with me but it’s only now that I hear him. Mr. Millhouse was a stubborn man who scared me a little, but I think his resolve was to never give up. At the time, his determination was intimidating.
Failure Felt Like Judgement
I often thought of failure as a metric of my worth. It was embarrassing and, humiliating. I often avoided a repeat of that circumstance like the plague. That’s why it took me so long to write my first book. I worried that if it wasn’t any good, I would be labeled as a bad writer. Since I desperately want to be a good writer, I avoided writing. I was like an ostrich that sticks its head in the sand to avoid danger. If it doesn’t see it, the danger doesn’t exist. If I don’t write the book, no one can judge me.
I’ll be honest, my first book wasn’t a bestseller, but it’s an accomplishment. I wrote many drafts and failed to complete them. Looking back at those unfinished stories now makes me realize that with each one I learned something. With each of those personal failures, I developed a resolve to write again. Maybe a bit of Mr. Millhouse’s stubbornness rubbed off on me.
I’m grateful for those stories that no one will ever read because eventually, I did finish a novel. I published it. It’s out there and I can’t take it back. Some people may judge me for it and may not like it. That’s ok. I didn’t write it for them.
Failure Makes Us Better
When I failed I surrendered and gave failure the victory. I’ve kicked that thought process to the side but like a serpent, it slithers back from time to time. I had to learn to identify failures as opportunities and to be grateful for them. They are teaching moments — life lessons. We don’t enter this world with a ‘How-To Manual”.
A manual would have been super handy when my son was born. No one can tell you how to be a parent. Advice is great but at the end of the day, you just learn as you go.
I’m grateful for the idiotic things I did as a teenager because they helped me teach my son what to avoid. It made me careful and peaked my sense of right and wrong.
I think failure made me more empathetic too because I know what it feels like to fail. Getting up and moving on after a disappointment is difficult. It feels like gravity sticks its thumb on you and says, “Stay!” You can shrug it off, I promise. Tell that heavy feeling to go and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.
Stand tall and grow.
Failure taught me to be stubborn and resilient. I hear criticism as advice now. Then, I convert it into a positive message of opportunity. It’s all about attitude and when I shifted my mindset, I could take hurt feelings and use feedback as inspiration. That’s when I really feel successful.
I had to learn to control my anxiety. If I panicked after realizing a loss, I was giving that loss my power. Failure is temporary. It only exists until you find a solution for it.
If you never try, that’s the only time that you will truly fail.
Viewing Success Through Failure
I view my successes from a place of humility because I had to fail so often to achieve it. You know how people always say that if you make it big you should always remember where you came from. I think we should always remember our failures. Especially the painful ones because they taught us a lesson. Those lessons guided me and often forced me to swallow my pride, apologize and listen.
Quotes
Sir Richard Branson said, “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”
Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
Proverbs
Success in life largely depends on how you handle your failures — African Proverb
Failures are but mileposts on the road to success — Italian Proverb
One learns by failing — French Proverb
The Last Word
In her article, ‘Falling Off Track’, Emily Forman talks about how life may get in the way of our goals but that it’s important to get up and push forward. She says, “ Everyone has a bad day or week and that’s okay. As long as we get back on track and look towards those goals.”
I don’t fear failure. I only fear how I handle it because I know that it’s a stepping stone to my success. Life offers us many paths and we can change which one we follow when the one we are on leads to a dead end. It’s about the journey. Success isn’t going anywhere. It’s patiently waiting for me to arrive.
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