I Am Ghostwriting Performance Reviews for My Former Boss
Find yourself a ghostwriting niche and develop your skills while having fun
Four years ago, I was working in a big financial corporation (50,000+ employees worldwide). The team’s turnover was high, but my boss and I were there for a few years. We knew each other well, which explains why she could think of asking me to ghostwrite her quarterly performance reviews.
She didn’t have the time, didn’t enjoy writing — at all — and was always looking for ways to NOT do the boring stuff on her to-do list. Writing quarterly reviews for ten people every quarter ranked pretty high on the boring scale to her.
So she sent half of them my way.
And that’s how I started my ghostwriting career
She was so happy with the result that two things happened.
- She again requested my services three months later,
- She bragged about the idea to her friends.
Two of these friends were in similar situations. They had too many reviews to write, too little time to do so, and even less joy coming out of the exercise. So they asked if they could contact me, and they became my first two paying clients.
How does it work?
Like any classical ghostwriting gig, except it’s shorter and faster. I get a few ideas and keywords from my clients and transform them into a well-crafted quarterly performance review of 300 words on average.
Usually, they make a few modifications.
Sometimes they need to adjust some numbers or add some (very) confidential information.
Sometimes I get a tad too poetic for their taste. Here’s an example of a sentence that didn’t make the cut.
He’s like the magic mirror from Snow White! And on top of always telling the truth, he shows a positive attitude and brings additional insights to the discussion.
What’s hard?
The first review for a new client is the most difficult.
For sure, it takes more time.
You need to know the culture of the company for which you’re working. Great in one environment can mean ok in another one. Knowing the baseline is crucial to scale the performance reviews accordingly.
If not, you could end up speaking British English instead of American English. As in the famous chart, “what the British say, what the British mean, and what others understand.” According to it, a British saying “quite good” in fact means “a bit disappointing.”
In the same manner, a manager telling you about your strong performance this year doesn’t mean you’ll get a raise or even 100% of your target bonus.
The best is to get a sample of past performance reviews for adjustment purposes. But a short discussion with the client will already give you a good idea of how they do things in their company.
Negative performance reviews are the hardest ones.
Call me sensitive, but I feel bad for the person getting trashed.
And from a writing point of view, it’s harder to find the accurate level on the negative scale of not-so-good performance this quarter. Usually, additional information is also needed, as concrete examples are a must for this type of review. (The same goes with positive ones, but habitually people read them with less attention to the details.)
That’s why I offer this service to returning clients only. They need to trust me, and I need to have an excellent grasp of the company culture to deliver this kind of text.
No Future?
This particular ghostwriting business may not have much future, as it’s unlikely to scale into a full-time gig. After all, you can’t advertise for it.
It’s generally not according to company guidelines; that’s an understatement. However, I never receive any top-secret information. I don’t need them, and I specifically request not to get any.
For example, if my clients want to put in some numbers, they can do so by themselves; I only need to know the trend. Are we talking about a 10% or a 50% increase YoY? (Year on Year). Or is it a decrease in whatever relevant KPI (Key Performance Indicator) in this specific case?
And it’s problematic to scale. If one of your clients works for company A, you can’t reach their colleagues and use your client as a reference.
However, there’s (a bit of) hope.
- Others can replicate the idea on a small scale. Trust and recommendations are the keys to making it work.
- And (that’s my hope!) I can use the practice to build a database of common performance review phrases.
Takeaway
Ghostwriting, in this case, doesn’t bring bitcoins amount of money. I make around $50/60 per month out of it (close to $700 per year). It’s more about having fun than anything.
It’s a prompt type of exercise. You get a few ideas, maybe a few sentences, and you need to make some flash fiction of 300 words out of it!
Think about it. Maybe there are some pain points like this in your close-circle environment. Pitch the idea to trusted friends, and you might start a (hopefully more than mine) lucrative ghostwriting career!
