What It’s Really Like To Work In Human Resources

What I’ve learned after 10 years of working in human resources.

I was 19 years old, and home for fall break during my sophomore year of college. I was visiting with some family friends and regaling them with tales of newly-forged friendships and the thrills of exploring a new city.

Eventually, the conversation pivoted to academics. They asked me what I had decided to major in, as one does in her second year of undergrad. I happily told them that I had decided on human resources. I was pleased to have found a major focused on unpacking how an organization’s most important asset, its people, could impact a business’ financial results.

But, rather unexpectedly, they peered back at me with a look that can only be described as disgust.

“You do not want to be in human resources,” they began. “They are not human, and they are not a resource.”

This comment has always stuck with me.

Sure, as a teenager it made me feel small and insecure about my decision-making. But, beyond that, it made me wonder whether most other businesspeople felt this way, too. And, if they did, what was in store for me and my newly chosen career path?

Flash-forward to today, and I have spent more than 10 years working in the human resources (HR) space. I have led corporate teams responsible for talent acquisition, employee relations, and learning & development before making the leap into founding my own leadership development consulting firm.

Looking back, I have certainly worked alongside colleagues who had a blatant distaste for HR, not dissimilar to what my friends expressed more than a decade ago. It’s clear, in those instances, that some inept HR person had burned them at some point along the way, and they weren’t going to freely hand over their trust to me without making me work for it.

I’ve fielded my fair share of half-joking comments to the effect of “Shh, don’t say that in front of HR,” or “Uh-oh, HR’s here — the party’s over!”

And the very fact that the label of ‘incompetent’ or ‘heartless’ is the expectation most employees have of me whenever I join a new organization, tells me that a lot of HR people out there are missing the mark.

But, I’ve always used this expectation as motivation; as a challenge to be overcome or a stereotype to defy.

And, in doing so, I’ve learned a lot about what it means to be both a ‘human’ and a ‘resource’ while working in human resources.

The cornerstone of empathy is “the ability to ‘feel with’ another person, to identity with them and sense what they’re experiencing.”

Empathy is, in fact, what makes us human.

Not surprisingly, there is a major disconnect between how empathetic companies are perceived to be from the employee vs. the CEO perspective.

BusinesSolver, a self-proclaimed ‘benefits administration technology company with heart,’ quantified this disconnect in their most recent State of Workplace Empathy report. In it, they shared that “91% of CEOs say their own company is empathetic, but only 68% of employees agree.”

Both groups do agree, however, that workplace empathy leads to better results.

“CEOs are more likely to believe that workplace empathy can help strengthen financial performance and increase business growth.

Employees on the other hand believe that workplace empathy inspires the workforce to be more motivated and productive.”

These are all positives outcomes, but they’re still different outcomes. We all agree that workplace empathy is important — just for different reasons.

So, if workplace empathy matters but employees don’t experience it nearly as often as CEOs think it's being experienced, then who is responsible for closing that gap?

The report found that “when asked who has the most impact on building a culture of empathy, employees’ top response was their manager, as opposed to their CEO, their co-workers, or their HR professionals.”

This tells me something I already knew — HR alone cannot drive workplace empathy.

But, we are uniquely positioned to impact it.

And we do that by being a resource to other leaders. Leaders who are someone’s manager.

I have supported many business leaders over my years as an HR partner, and when those partnerships are at their very best, I am viewed by that leader as a trusted coach or consultant.

My job is not to make tough people decisions for them. I am never the one to decide who they hire, promote, or let-go. But my job is to be by their side as they hone in on and execute those decisions.

Sometimes my job is to see around the metaphorical corners and anticipate talent risks they haven’t yet considered.

“Have you thought about the impact promoting that person might have on the rest of the team?”

Sometimes my job is to aid in their decision-making process by asking them the questions that no one else will.

“Do you think your feedback on these candidates might show some implicit bias?”

Sometimes my job is to hold them to a standard that no other HR person ever has.

“Have you given that person direct feedback yet? I won’t put them on a PIP until you talk with them and give them a chance to improve.”

Sometimes my job is even to slow them down and stand between them and a rash or emotionally-charged decision.

“No, we will not fire that person today without warning. Yes, I understand you want them gone. My answer is still ‘no.’”

But, my job is always to remind them of their teams’ humanity along the way.

My job is always to help them be the most empathetic version of themselves as they make personnel decisions that inevitably impact someone’s career and livelihood.

My job is always to help them show-up as a whole person for their team.

Have I made some bad calls along the way?

Yep, sure have.

Does every leader do things exactly the way I would if it were my team?

Definitely not.

Am I perfect?

Not a chance.

But, it’s been said that “leadership is unlocking people’s potential to become better,” and my goal is for progress over perfection.

10 years later, I am both ‘human’ and a ‘resource.’

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