I Am Attracted to Bi-sexual Men

Living in my Truth

WOW — never thought I would pen this to paper, but it is true — I am attracted to bi-sexual men.

I grew up in a strict religious home. Well, the adults certainly did whatever they wanted. We were always told as children, “You don’t do what I do, you do what I say do”. Contradictions were the norm. There were certain things that were not discussed and considered taboo in our family — gay, lesbian, and any sexual conversations that went past marital relationships, and missionary intimacy was forbidden. I grew up thinking that people who did have a different relationship only changed roles. In other words, instead of the man being masculine in the relationship the woman was more masculine and the man took on the role of the wife. I had not figured out what same-sex really meant.

I did explore as kids often do with what we ‘thought’ was sex. It was not sex at all, but in a child’s mind, anything can be created and seem real. In my curiosity in the beginning I thought something was wrong with me and I was in denial for a while. In fact, I never told anyone about my feelings for fear of being ridiculed and seen as a freak.

In my early twenties, I experimented with same-sex encounters. My partners would often say that they were drawn to what felt like masculinity in me. I would say that it was my level of confidence that they were drawn to and not that I was dude-ish.

I did not realize what my attraction to guys who seemed feminine was initially. I remember over the years saying that if I could take different characteristics from each one of the men, I had encountered that I could build the perfect man for me.

For me, being bi-sexual means, you are comfortable in your own skin. It means you enjoy your life with the one you enjoy your life with. You might say that heterosexuals and binary relationships exist in this same way. If that were true, though, there would be no need to have different types of intimate relationships or gendered types. We would all go about living life and enjoying it as it comes. There would be no need for labeling.

What makes bi-sexual men attractive?

Yes, I did change the question. It is most often asked — Why do you find bi-sexual men attractive?

I was reflecting on past relationships and the things I liked about them, the things that were similar, and of course, the differences, and my reasons came together like a puzzle. Reflection is a good thing.

I am not saying that any of the men I have been in a relationship with would ever say themselves that they are bi-sexual and only a couple of them have eluded to a curiosity with regard to the subject. I am saying that their mannerisms might raise eyebrows with people who casually observe them. Let me also say here that all bi-sexual men do not present themselves in a way that says they are bi-sexual either. In fact, very few people would know a man is bi-sexual without having a conversation about it.

As far as I know, I have never been in a relationship with a bi-sexual man. I say that because if any one of them is bi-sexual they may have the same fears about sharing as I did and just have never confided in me.

So, why do I feel that I am attracted to bi-sexual men?

I have had several acquaintances within the LGBT community and experienced several same-sex encounters. I have had numerous conversations with men who are comfortable with their sexuality. I believe the only reason that I have not explored a bi-sexual relationship is the stigmatism associated with my upbringing. I also believe that is why I settled for relationships with men who seemed to have feminine tendencies. I suppressed what I wanted. I am not sure how I bypassed my upbringing to experiment with same-sex relationships as that, too, is the forbidden fruit.

Okay, but WHY bi-sexual men?

I like that hint of femininity meshed with masculinity. It is so subtle that it can be missed and so obvious that it begs to be noticed. It is not overt and not fully hidden. It spells freedom and openness on another level. In a word, it feels equal.

Copyright Sharon Brandon 2020. All rights reserved. Not to be used without expressed permission.