avatarDeola - The Bodacious You

Summary

The author expresses a deep-seated fear of success, stemming from the pressure and expectations that come with it, and the potential to become dependent on external validation.

Abstract

The author reveals an internal struggle with the fear of success, which is paradoxically more intimidating than the fear of failure. Despite a strong desire to be recognized and to have a lasting impact on others, the author is apprehensive about the potential consequences of success, such as becoming an "empty echo" or losing one's authenticity amidst the clamor of applause. The pressure to maintain success and to live up to the expectations of an audience is daunting. The author seeks to remain true to themselves, to not be swayed by the allure of accolades, and to remember that they are merely a vessel for their craft, with no need to force creativity. The author resolves to stay grounded, open, and ready for when inspiration strikes again, regardless of the external noise.

Opinions

  • The author believes that success brings a greater pressure to stay worthy and fears not living up to expectations.
  • There is a concern about becoming addicted to applause and external validation, which could lead to a loss of self.
  • The author values authenticity and the importance of not letting oneself down over seeking approval from others.
  • The author views themselves as a vessel for their work, emphasizing the natural flow of creativity without force or pressure to perform.
  • Despite the fear, the author is committed to staying true to their voice and not allowing the cheers to overwhelm their heart.
  • The author acknowledges the possibility of creative dry spells but is prepared to be patient and ready when inspiration returns.

I am Afraid of Succeeding

I fear success more than I fear failing

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I am more of afraid of succeeding than I am of failing.

I know in the depths of my soul that if I try, If I keep at it, I will succeed.

And that scares me.

I am afraid of getting the very things that I want.

I want to be known I want my words to echo in hearts across the globe

But, I am afraid of being an empty echo, afraid of being a loud bang that vibrates but then fizzles out or a voice that catches their attention and then fades

I want to leave an imprint in hearts now, and for generations yet unborn

But I am afraid that with each clap comes a greater pressure to stay worthy. Pressure to be worthy of the next clap

I am afraid of letting them down.

I’m afraid of getting addicted to the applause Afraid of needing a supply that is outside of myself

Afraid that they would want more than I can give Afraid that I would stop being enough

The cure to this fear?

Stay true to myself Focus on not letting me down

Make sure that these ears do not become deaf deafened by the applause That these eyes do not become blind blinded by the lights

I will listen I will care

But I will not tune out my voice I will not let the cheers overwhelm my heart

and if tomorrow the words do not come I’ll remember that I am only a vessel

I will not force it No pressure to perform

I’ll stay open I’ll stay yielded I’ll keep listening I’ll be ready again when it’s time.

~ Deola August 8, 2022

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