I am a Panda. I am an Instant Pot.

Do pandas eat rice?

Have you taken part in a group activity and been asked, “If you could be any animal, what would you be?” Or, “If you were an object, which would you be?”

If I were an animal, I’d be a panda.

I’ve never been to China but the mountains and mist look magical to me. I often wear black and white. I’m huggable. I enjoy eating crunchy things and sliding down slides.

CRUUUUUUNCCCCCH.

If I were an object, I’d be an instant pot.

I tightly seal feelings in my body where they build up. My lid is securely locked. No steam can escape whatsoever — that is until the timer goes off. In a perfect world, I’d let that steam dissipate at its own pace, but I’m an impatiently imperfect person. I always hit my quick release valve.

HIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS.