ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

I Am a Human Voodoo Doll

My experience with acupuncture

Lying on a massage table, my arms, hands, lower legs, and feet exposed, giving my body to a woman I don’t know, is a pretty vulnerable feeling.

My acupuncture therapist asks me what I’m struggling with. The answer has been the same for a while: anger. With a bit of pain between my shoulder blades where I’m holding it all.

She methodically taps needles into my feet, hands, face, elbows, knees, and lower legs. Although small, some of the needles feel more potent than others.

I’m under a blanket, but I’m still freezing. She turns a heater onto my feet. This helps.

I try to succumb to whatever power the needles can give me.

I can feel my body become tense, so I try my best to force my muscles to relax. This sensation comes in waves, and I have to fight each one.

I imagine each minuscule hole in my body as an avenue through which to release all of this anger I’ve been holding, some of it for years.

And then my brain goes to a really weird place. You know that scene in Shrek where Fiona has just kissed Shrek, and she transforms into her ogre persona, light flowing out of her body, floating off the ground as her metamorphosis completes? Yes. That scene.

I can’t help but laugh at this visual, and then I remember I have dozens of needles stuck in me. My convulsions from stifling inappropriate giggles make me wince with the slight movement of said needles.

The last time I had acupuncture, sleep came easily. And it was welcomed. But this time, I struggle to relax enough for slumber.

But I also had a terrible dream the night before. I found a friend lying under a blue tarp with only her face exposed. She was covered in acupuncture needles with e-stim running through them. It was a horrific mess to encounter. I asked her who did this to her. She was like, “The other guy.” And I asked her how many needles she had in her. “However many I paid for,” she replied. I remember feeling shocked that she was just taking it. Then I woke up.

Maybe my brain doesn’t like the idea of acupuncture after all. But it did seem to help me to relax.

My husband had his own experience with acupuncture recently.

He is one of the many unfortunate people who contracted Alpha-Gal, a tick-borne meat allergy. He spends much of his time traipsing through the woods and gets bitten by ticks frequently. It’s just a part of being outdoors.

At first, I was super excited that the universe seemed to tell my husband he should be vegan like me. He was not amused. (I was.) But then I felt sorry for him.

My friend told me about this super weird acupuncture technique that has been developed to “cure” people of this meat allergy. Not covered by insurance, of course, but perhaps worth trying.

The technique focuses on auricular application, with the points of needle insertion determined by manual muscle testing. Yup. It’s as strange as it sounds.

And why the ear for application? Because it’s tied so closely to the vagus nerve in controlling so many bodily functions and relaxation. This is why our dogs and cats love to have their ears rubbed so much!

Eventually, I told my husband about this, and he eagerly found a practitioner in our area skilled in the methods. And, low and behold, it worked!

At least my husband got a feel for what it’s like to have to eat in a restaurant on a limited diet. And, yes, it’s a colossal pain in the ass.

He was only a tourist in this world, thankfully. He’s back to eating whatever he wants.

Acupuncture has its roots in Eastern medicine, and while some may consider its science questionable, it did seem to help my husband and me. The best part is explaining the methods to peers who have never experienced the practice before!

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Have you ever tried acupuncture? What did you think? I’d love to hear about your experience.

As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.

Originally published at http://annethevegan.com on January 11, 2024.