Self- Growth

I Am a Fu**ing Computer Genius, Part 2

When things go right

Today I opened my laptop, clicked on Word, and got an error message (winword.exe) and something about Office (the office part was in a tangerine orange but that’s not important).

The Office part worried me since I know I haven’t paid for the whole kit and kaboodle — I’m not the sort to load up on software I’ll use once and forget about. I figured the “Office” signal was just a blip, and I’d try it again. But after I retried the same computer action about 10 times, I had to consider the possibility that I had a computer problem, a slight malfunction. They say doing the same thing multiple times and getting the same result is one step away from insanity. I don’t buy into these Einsteinian theories, but just in case, I quit repeating the computer move and began considering my options.

I couldn’t really access Word, and that’s what I need to function as a writing professional. Plus, I had just gotten an assignment to compose a client’s resume and cover letter so the need for Word to function normally was paramount. What was wrong with my beautiful, flawless laptop?

I started to panic as I normally do when confronted by technical situations, but I reminded myself that just this past summer I had solved a computer problem of such immensity that a professed expert nerd had advised me to throw my loyal Lenova YOGA into the garbage and purchase another laptop. He was dead wrong and I saved about $700 ignoring his so-called advice.

So I started to breathe a little easier. Deep breaths and the image of a fixable computer helped to calm me so I could meander into my office and tap into my desktop computer.

I thought that perhaps the answer might be solved once I knew what Microsoft program I actually subscribed to. I knew that Office wasn’t a program I purchased. Too expensive, and I’m a cheapo from the get go. But then you probably knew that. The desk top confirmed that I only subscribed to Microsoft 365, and that was after I had to jump through a few hoops such as signing in to my Microsoft account and inventing a new password since I didn’t seem to know the old one.

After all that, however, I still had not the foggiest notion why I was getting that winword.exe error message. Since the start of this technical mini-crash, at least 30 minutes had elapsed and still I did not have any notion why I couldn’t access Word. Of course the facts spoke for themselves: By process of elimination the error message and the nonfunctioning of Word were related, perhaps not a cause/effect relationship, but all the same, the two occurrences were dancing at the same party.

Then I got a brainstorm, which is always a novel experience for me. I proposed to google winword.exe and find out if this was a common error and what people did about it. Turns out it is a common error, and there were tons of links to websites only too happy to tell me how to turn my wounded machine into a wunderkind again.

So, profiting from past experience with dot-com websites — commercial whales that gobble your money and confuse you further — I decided to click on a Microsoft website (Microsoft is commercial but it has a respectable brand), and what do you know, in only five or so steps I was able to correct the problem.

I was delirious with joy when told to open the Control Panel because I knew I was dealing with a serious set of instructions. Someone had crafted this six-step procedure just for tech-phobes like me who flinch at the thought of going into the Registry and entering into scary digital terrain. The next direction sealed my newfound respect for the author of these directions. The website author told me to click on Change and then Repair. When I hit the Repair option, a chill went up and down my spine. I somehow knew I was going to rescue myself from this digital jungle.

And I was right. With that one click on Repair, the magic took place, and Word was resurrected from its early grave. I was so grateful I almost kissed my laptop, but my husband was in the room, and I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I too worried over technical mishaps.

When you have technical toys like computers you need to be prepared for glitches. I tell myself that every day because every day a new problem could be just a few key strokes away. Just today, for instance, I could not seem to connect with my printer, which is supposed to work on wifi so that I don’t have to be in the same room when copying a document. I wanted to copy a resume that a young woman wants me to edit.

For the life of me I could not get that printer to work. So after about an hour of struggles I finally got the idea to delete the printer and then add it again onto my devices section. The computer then asked if I now wanted to restart and use my new settings. I took a leap of faith and said yes. The risk was worth it as now the correct printer seems to enjoy communicating with my laptop.

So as it turned out, I am typing this narrative on my now-repaired Word. And if I really wanted to show off, I could make a copy of this document on my printer, which is in my office, while I now sit in my kitchen.

Could it be that I’m actually improving in digital skills? For all I know I’m only two steps away from being a nerd or a Best Buy Geek. I don’t think so, but in any case, I‘ve become a f **ing computer genius. Again.