I am a Dog Whisperer

I’ve got dogs.

I'm not sure when it happened. I'm not sure why it happened. But it has happened. I have become a dog whisperer.

14 years ago we got a spry little pup. Her name was Kelly. Kelly was an independent little dog. We always thought she was a poodle, but it turned out that at least 50% of her was Pitbull. She was my dog. She hung out with me she preferred my company, and generally, I was her person.

Two and a half years ago, we got a cockamamie Cocker Spaniel. Bentley is a sweet dog, but to say that the elevator does not reach the top is an understatement. He's a clown of a dog. Again, he's my dog. He follows me about. When I go to work in the basement, he hangs out with me. He doesn't mind that he's on the sofa or in other parts of the room just as long as he's in visual range.

Yesterday we got a tiny little dog. She's a stray. She's Skin and Bones and about 12 lbs. We first met her she cowered away from me and I kind of stayed on the peripheral and let my dog do the talking. Bentley, however, is a weenie. He was okay with her, but the Foster People, well, they kept him from getting too close.

Now I'm sitting on a chair with a tiny little dog snoring between my legs and the other dog snoring on the other easy chair. It's a chorus of snores from canines. Whatever the reason, I have become a dog magnet.

What have I learned from this

The first thing that I've learned about dogs is that you don’t always need to engage them at their level. You can engage them at your level. Yes, I let them climb all over me. Yes, I'll play fetch until my arms ache. But if I'm cooking or if I'm going somewhere, I simply expect them to move. I don't do a pirouette around them as if they were delicate little snowflakes. Their job is to move I'm not doing it for them.

The second thing I've learned about dogs is, it helps to have a loud booming voice. When the dogs displease me, I yell at him and they stop dead in their tracks and look at me like oh s***. That's a good thing I don't want to have to discipline them physically. I just want them to stop when I tell them “No!”

Third thing I've learned about dogs is that they have an Alpha. They like leaders. I'm the alpha. I feed them; I walk them; I water them; I ordered them about. I don't baby them; I don't mollycoddle them; I treat them like dogs. They look to me for food, water, walks and affection.

The last thing that I've learned about dogs is it is important to treat them like dogs. My wife treats the dogs like they're her children. She refers to herself as Mommy and me as Daddy. I tolerate that. I however, believe that dogs are just another fur bound Critter. I like them. I enjoy their company. But I'm not about to dress them up like little, tiny pink lawyers.

Btw everything above can apply to people as well.