Summary

A 70-year-old individual is seeking knowledge and support to help their daughter navigate fertility challenges, including high FSH levels and low AMH, which hinder natural conception.

Abstract

The author, a 70-year-old parent, is grappling with their daughter's fertility issues. The daughter, in her mid-30s, has been trying to conceive with her husband without success due to unfavorable hormone levels: high FSH and low AMH, indicating a lower egg count. They have explored two treatment options: IUI, with a 15% success rate and a cost of $1500 per attempt, and IVF, with a 50-60% success rate and a significantly higher cost of$ 15,000-$20,000 per cycle. The author is determined to educate themselves on these options to better support their daughter, expressing frustration with the financial burden and emotional toll of the fertility journey. They are reaching out to the Medium community for shared experiences, wisdom, and support, hoping for a positive outcome and the joy of becoming a grandparent.

Opinions

The author is deeply affected by their daughter's fertility struggles, feeling physical pain due to empathy.
There is a sense of urgency and desperation in finding solutions, as evidenced by the author's extensive research and openness to community advice.
The author views the cost of fertility treatments as exorbitant and the success rates as daunting.
The emotional impact of fertility issues is acknowledged as extending beyond the couple to the entire family.
The author is critical of the lack of insurance coverage for fertility treatments in their state.
There is a hopeful reliance on the power of prayer and community support to navigate this challenging time.

I Am 70 years Old With Fertility Problems

You read correctly

My story is deeply personal. I should begin by stating clearly I am not the one with fertility problems. My daughter does.

My best friend.

My person.

My heart.

The past 10 days have been a wild ride on this roller coaster called life.

My motivation in writing this story is for a few reasons. I want to be more educated with all the options that are presented.

I want to vent about the cost that patients are responsible for and the confusion that goes along with deciphering this navigation.

I need to learn. I want to learn.

Ladies on Medium, please share your stories in your comments. I am open to suggestions, words of wisdom, and any support that I can get, so I may help my daughter.

To be clear, my intent is not to see how many claps I get or highlights or to get boosted. Comments would be great though. My wish is there is some magic out there that helps us.

We discovered recently that natural conception will not be an option for my daughter.

This news was catastrophic to her and her husband.

My daughter’s FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) is extremely high. Her AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) is extremely low. This means that she is producing smaller amounts of eggs than most women. An ideal environment would be to have a low FSH and a high AMH. I won’t get into the numbers.

She and her husband have been trying for a while unsuccessfully. They are both in their mid-30s, which by today’s standards is not old by any means. The good news is they immediately sought a fertility specialist’s intervention so they could start investigating options.

They were educated about two forms of fertility treatments. One is called IUI (intrauterine insemination). Sperm is placed into the uterus during ovulation days. Imagine a turkey baster. The hope is to increase the possibility of fertilization because the sperm will be much closer to the egg. The cost is roughly $1500.00 for each attempt. They were told the success rate for this procedure is 15%. Pretty gloomy percentages.

The second option is IVF. The entire process takes 8–10 weeks. Sperm and a retrieved egg (eggs) are fertilized outside the womb. Once fertilized, the eggs are placed in the woman’s uterus. This will be done under general anesthesia. The cost of this procedure is $15,000-$20,000 each time. The success rate is still only 50–60%. Also at some point, I am not sure when, but the fertilized egg will be analyzed for chromosomal abnormalities. I am still learning.

So, not only is one trying to conceive via fertility treatments but at some point, the couple will be told whether their child will have abnormalities. Pressure!

My explanations are very brief and elementary. They are the best that I can explain at this stage of my education. There is much more to both methods. Pills, shots, minimally invasive procedures, and several doctor appointments.

When my daughter started going to the specialists and the testing began, I had hope. My mind kept saying, that everything was going to be fine.

The test results started to come back with discouraging news. Their world shattered. Their hopes and dreams disappeared. My heart broke. My own body hurts physically. Sometimes being an empath is a curse. I feel sick to my stomach. You are only as happy as your saddest child.

She is having a difficult time trying to keep it together and has thankfully sought counseling.

I am searching for the right words to say to my daughter. It’s so painful and disappointing for all of us. Now we are the ones that you hear about. The statistics are one in eight couples experience infertility.

Presently they are waiting to hear from the insurance company to see what the specific policies are regarding fertility treatments. A small portion may be covered or nothing at all. Also, with these treatments, it is my understanding that full payment is due upfront. Each state in the U.S. has different policies. Sadly our state has less (none) insurance coverage to treat infertility.

So this is my sad story about “our” fertility issues. I say our because it affects everyone in the family. Mothers, Fathers, Siblings, Cousins, Aunts and Uncles, In-Laws and Friends.

Ladies, my heart aches for everyone who so desperately wants a family of their own and can’t. It is not fair.

Have you heard of Aphrodite? I researched her. She is the goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. Was she real or was she a myth? It doesn’t matter, the prayers I say each night are dedicated to all women fertile or not. I have heard about the power of prayer. I hope it works. I hope fertility treatments for my daughter work. I pray that she receives the gift that she and her husband desperately want.

And I selfishly pray that I will get to be a grandma and if I am so blessed, I will love that child and be in awe of how it’s life was created.