I am 24 years old and I feel mad.
Desperate writing because of desperate times.
I wrote the next few paragraphs at the beginning of this month. And it’s been the last thing I wrote before this introduction. As I mentioned in my first article in Medium, I write so I can express my feelings and my tension. So that’s what I did. I am Greek. And during the first days of August, Greece had to confront wildfires all around the country. These fires, insane arsons helped by a poorly organised government and the extreme weather conditions, were burning for days and finally destroyed thousands of acreages of some of the most amazing greek landscapes. The last year, we do not only face the consequences of the pandemic but there is also daily, horrific news that awes us. And eventually, all I could feel was misery and rage. I decided to share these lines here in Medium and genuinely ask you…
Do you feel me?
We have been said we need to try for our future. And we do. Our half-life, we study, we take exams, we write motivation letters, we live under pressure and anxiety. We pass the other half of our life doing jobs we don’t even like, under the promise that the best is still yet to come. We go after interviews, we search for the perfect job, we take orders from people half-educated than we are, and we earn money that is not enough to even cover our basic needs.
And yet, we keep hearing you are the future of this country, of this world. You are going to change things. You are going to be better than us. Be patient! Have faith! Never give up!
There is so much talk about what we should do and how to do it. But no one is giving us a tiny, promising motive to fight for. We are survivors, in a world that is burning down. We are fighters, in a world that pretend to care but doesn’t give a f@ck.
I keep watching on the news about fires, and floods, and racism, and hate, and wars, and killings of innocent people. I keep hearing about rapings and genocides and violence. I am so sick of this. What are we fighting for? And for whom?
I am 24 years old and I feel tired. I keep trying but I feel exhausted. There are so much I wanna do and every day I do a step towards those. But sometimes I feel like it doesn’t matter. Because until I get there, there will be nothing left.
I am 24 years old and I feel mad. I feel furious and disgusted by people. Don’t you? The good news is few and limited and not even noticeable. There is so much negativity, hate, fear and pain, so much uncertainty and unfairness. What is wrong with us people? Is there any hope after all?
There are so much I wanna do. So much I wanna be. So much I wanna see. And I know that no matter how desperate I am, I am not going to give up. I am not going to stop working towards my ideal life. But more frequently than ever the last couple of years, there are these moments when I just cannot move anymore. When I feel like I cannot breathe anymore. Seriously, what is wrong with us?
I am 24 years old and all I want is to have a future to fight for. I want my effort to count. I want the foundations where I can build and thrive in. I seek security and protection. And I demand respect. I need to feel that I am not just useless, powerless nothing in a world that is running towards its extermination.
Is it really so much to ask?
Do you feel me?