I Added an “F” to My Lies

Change your life with a flash of clarity

Every single day we tell ourselves lies. Lies to ourselves about ourselves. And, we believe them.

They sound like this:

I’m too old to change
I’m stuck here
I don’t deserve this good thing
I’m a bad person
I’m weird
I’m stupid
I’ll never be a good writer

Do any of these sound familiar?

Lies. All of them. False beliefs. Somewhere in our lives, we were taught things about ourselves that aren’t true. Yet, we continue to live in accordance with those lies.

Long after we’ve heard them, they remain. Implanted into our thoughts as a stable crop in our field of beliefs. Always ready to harvest.

Adding the “F”

If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time researching a product before you buy it. This is especially true for something expensive. It’s an investment, after all, and you want to do your due diligence before spending the money, right?

But, what about researching yourself? Every second you spend in your life is also an investment. You can make more money. You can’t make more time.

I am grateful you are spending your precious seconds reading this article!

Shining a Light On Yourself

Spending time getting to know yourself can bring your dreams to the spotlight and surface any barriers. Shining a light on barriers allows you to focus on potential solutions. It allows you to get curious and get clear. It allows you to know what you’ve got to work with.

Clarity is a wonderful place from where to make decisions.

Grab Your “F” Here

When I started my coaching practice, I began using a structure with my clients that I created for myself. I named it the FLASH™ Framework. It works like a camera flash, shining a light on things to expose their details.

The FLASH™ Framework allowed me to gain clarity and address hurdles, set goals and create an action plan. It has become the foundation of how I help others step onto a life path they love. FLASH™ will help you expose what you need to discover, what you need to learn, and what you need to do.

FLASH™ is a framework and not a blueprint. There’s no exact blueprint that works for everyone (or I’d give that to you right now.) The FLASH™ Framework is a set of concepts and principles for building a flexible plan to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. The practices within it are repeatable and can be applied to any area of your life.

First, I’ll give you the breakdown of FLASH and then I’ll share how I used it to realize one of my long-lost dreams.

F — Find the lies and beliefs that aren’t serving you. Cross-examine them. Look for buried dreams. Get clear on your values, interests, and experiences. Get curious. Discover other possibilities for your life.

L — Learn — Determine what you need to learn (or unlearn) to achieve your dreams. Determine how you need to live each day to transform your life.

A — Action — Once you know what you’ve got to work with and what you will commit to working on, create an action plan and start executing the steps.

S — Stop — Stop regularly and review your action plan. Be flexible. It’s ok to adjust if you receive any new information.

H — Happy — Celebrate every action once you complete it. Celebrate all your wins, big or small.

How I FLASH-ed Myself

During my awkward late teens and pre-Internet, I nurtured a dream to become a writer. Hopeful and starry-eyed, I grabbed my favourite blue ballpoint pen and started writing.

My excitement for this path soon became too great to keep to myself. I started sharing this dream with others in my immediate circle.

You can probably guess the rest.

I was told that I wasn’t good enough and that it would be “impossible to earn money just writing”. With almost two decades of insecurity already in my life’s resume, those comments were somewhat familiar. They easily became part of my own stack of beliefs. My dream was buried beneath them.

Until 2020.

The lockdowns gave me time alone to binge on Netflix, Amazon shopping, and books. Interrupted out of autopilot mode, I found more mental resources to engage.

The uncertainty of those spring days in 2020 brought anxiety and restlessness. The turmoil within ignited an urge to explore my neighbourhood, the nearby forest, and my life.

Darkness and turmoil stimulate the imagination in a certain way. — Thomas Moore, Dark Nights of the Soul

One morning between the trees, enjoying the warm fall colours and the wildlife, my thoughts suddenly began to multiply and scatter. At first, I felt like I was spiralling into the fog and fury of an anxiety attack. But it wasn’t that. A clear thought popped into my head. It felt like an old friend and it asked, “Why can’t you be a writer?” I heard myself respond out loud, “Yeah, why can’t I?”

Walking back to my car, I started applying the FLASH Framework. What did I need to find? I brought the old lies out into the light. I studied their details. I asked if they were true. Was I a good enough writer? Maybe that was true but I could learn. Could I get paid to write? I tried to think of examples. Bookstores, libraries, and billions of words on the Internet came to mind. Yes, it is possible to get paid to write.

What did I need to learn? I looked for writers online. I re-read some of my favourite books. I read articles about freelance writing. I read articles on how to write articles. I watched YouTube videos about writing. I made lists of the things that I wanted to learn about writing.

My exploration continued and I bumped into Medium. My first thought was that there was no way I could write articles but I kept reading. I kept learning. Every time a limiting belief came up, I challenged and changed it.

Then came the actions. I carved out time to write. I committed to 500 words a day. It didn’t matter if was garbage. I didn’t have to show it to anyone. I signed up for Medium. I read more and studied other writers. I started a book of writing ideas. These things gave me a taste of the possibilities and this motivated me to keep going.

On October 10, 2020, I self-published my first article on Medium. I announced myself on social media as a writer. I created an action plan to improve. Many articles never saw the light of day. I told myself that writers write. I kept writing.

I set up a monthly checkpoint with myself (the Stop in FLASH). During these checkpoints, I would figure out what was working, what wasn’t working, and what else I needed to do. One of those things was to keep a notebook and pen in my car. Another was moving my writing workspace to a brighter room at home.

For the Happy part of the framework, I made sure to acknowledge and celebrate every time I wrote something, whether I published it or not.

Eighteen months later I was invited to write for the award-winning publication, Paranormal Daily News and later, SpyWitness News and Holistic Therapies Directory.

Buried for over 30 years, my dream to be a writer finally came true.

Try the FLASH™ Framework if there’s something in your life that you want to change or work towards. By exploring and studying yourself, you’ll be able to listen for those lies that are standing in your way. Add an “F” to the LIE and start living your best LIFE.