I Abandoned Social Media for 4 Years. Why I’m Back Online After Being Off the Grid

The Pros and Cons

Okay, if we’re counting iMessage and GMail as social media, then technically the title is a lie.

What?

Even totally isolated introverts like me have somewhat of a life.

Jeez…

Anyway, at the pique of my social media indulgence, I was active on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, LinkedIn, TikTok, and probably a few more that I’ve since forgotten my username and password to.

I was never so involved as to post multiple things on all these platforms every single day, but I definitely spent more time than I should have scrolling through my friends’ feeds on Instagram and trying to come up with funny captions for my Snapchat photos.

But that was the problem:

I was trying to be funny.

I Wasn’t the Best Comedian

And it wasn’t even for my own enjoyment, it was for others.

I was gifted a phone when I entered 9th grade, at which point I had approximately 0 friends, maybe 0.5 if you count… myself? I immediately downloaded all the social media apps that I thought would swing open the secret door to popularity and catapult me into immediate high school stardom.

It didn’t.

But the good thing about not having many friends was that I was free to be myself, for better or for worse. I didn’t have anyone influencing my character, forcing me to be something I wasn’t.

But by the time I was a senior and about to graduate, I found myself pausing before posting something online, literally thinking about how I could make it funnier. I guess it’s the same moment that people have before uploading a photo of themselves, wondering how to make the lighting better, or their face more photogenic.

Maybe “appalled” is too drastic of a word for this scenario, but I was physically taken aback by the realization that I was concerned with how my post would be received.

I had never considered myself to be the sort of person who cares about what other people think about them, but I suppose everyone thinks a little too highly of themselves, especially as children.

It wasn’t long after this realization that I made the decision to quit social media altogether. For some reason, there was no in-between for me, no stepping-stone decision to wean myself off the internet for a while.

I went cold turkey.

And I Ate Cold Turkey for 4 Years

It was actually a pretty tasty diet.

Of course, the immediate con of being disconnected from the majority of the internet was that I felt less close to my peers. But to be honest, most of the people I interacted with online weren’t my best friends, meaning people I’d hang out with on a daily basis, or divulge secrets to.

Throughout all of high school, I can safely say I only really made a handful of true friends that have stuck with me to this day, and I’m grateful for it.

My social media cleanse was abundantly relieving, even more so than I anticipated. I didn’t think it would make much of a difference in my life, but it was such a lifted burden to not be thinking about the entire world all the time.

The internet never shuts off, and that means the more we use it, the more we don’t shut off. It’s so easy to think we’re being super productive and in touch with what’s going on, that we don’t even notice our own exhaustion.

It was only after I left social media that I realized what a grip it had on me. It’s like I was wearing a way-too-tight hat for years but never noticed because that’s just how it always was.

When I took the hat off, my mental health, and consequently my physical and emotional health, became so much more understandable and accessible to the part of me which wanted to improve.

So Why Did I Come Back?

No, I have not experienced a revival of my long-suppressed extroverted spirit, which now has an insatiable urge to express itself to the world.

I came back for a simple reason:

I wanted to be social again.

And no, I don’t just mean on the internet.

The thing is, my 4-year hiatus from social media wasn’t just a virtual endeavor. I isolated myself physically, too. And I don’t just mean I reduced my hypothetical days of partying and drinking from 7 days a week to 6. I mean that I literally didn’t leave my house for months at a time.

I stopped showering, eating, sleeping, working, and doing anything remotely resembling a healthy routine on a somewhat regular basis.

Yes, I was depressed.

Yes, I’m doing better now.

Back to the birds and the… ghosts?

My return to social media coincided with my decision to begin participating in the real world again, to get a job and try to meet new people and attempt to improve my life, to start writing poetry and creating art and put it out into the world.

The same digital apps don’t have the same gravitation pull as they did before. I don’t find myself craving the need to scroll through hundreds of images, or see what people are saying about me online.

Yes, they’re on my phone again, but I’m utilizing them to further my goals, instead of them utilizing me to perpetuate their own viral nature.

I’m also adamantly maintaining anonymity on the internet, so as to prevent my real life from becoming too intertwined with the digital world, despite the importance and necessity of both.

The Pros and Cons of Being Off the Grid

Pros

• Reduced stress

You’re not bombarded every day with posts from your friends, family and strangers about what's going on in everybody else’s life except your own. It makes your brain think so many things are happening all at once, and that it needs to somehow compartmentalize everything and provide a solution for it.

But when you take a break from social media, things get a lot quieter, quiet enough for your mind to rest for a little bit.

• More time for yourself

In this relaxation, you might find a lot more free time has become available to you. Scrolling through social media feeds can seem inconsequential and harmless at the moment, but it's easy to lose track of time, and before you know it, you’re entire day has whizzed past you before you can check off anything on your to-do list.

Without this distraction, it’s much easier to think about and focus on more productive things in life, whether it be work, hanging out with friends, having some alone time without a screen, etc.

• A different perspective on life

Social media is a realm of opinions, rarely facts. It’s hard to discern strict news from bias nowadays, especially now that everyone is able to have a voice and project it to the entire world. It can make it difficult to ascertain your own views and beliefs about life’s many debatable topics, which can lead to awkwardness in interactions and a lot of self-doubts.

Without social media telling you what to think or what to think about, the things that really matter to you can start to bubble up to the forefront of your conscience.

• Less FOMO

I think this is well-known by now, but let’s just say it again so we remember.

No one’s life is perfect, no matter what their internet profile looks like. You’re not missing out on anything, except what your own life could be without worrying about others.

Cons

• Feelings of isolation

Being without social media can make you feel disconnected from the world, and there’s considerable truth to this. We can’t deny the prevalence of social media in the 21st Century.

But to combat this feeling of isolation, we have to understand that the internet isn’t the only way to connect with people. Is it the most common way today? Yes. Does it have to be the only way? No.

As I said, I still used iMessage and GMail because ridding myself of all forms of communication was just unfeasible and impractical. Do what works for you.

• Lack of knowledge about world events

There were many times I would be having conversations with someone and they’d bring up some protest in another country, a breakthrough scientific discovery or some other point of interest that they were interested in discussing, and I’d just have to admit that I had no idea what they were talking about.

It garnered me a few looks of confusion and astonishment, but given the fact that I never watched television either, I really didn’t know much about what was going on in the world aside from what people told me.

I didn’t care all that much, but if you do, it wouldn’t hurt to glance at some news feeds every now and again.

• Restricted communication with some people

As I mentioned, I lost contact with a lot of people after I deleted my social media. But again, most of them weren’t people I ever talked to on a regular basis.

Some people prefer DM’ing to regular texting or calling, so if you’re considering taking a break from social media, get ready to prep your voice for some lengthy calls.

But It Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing

It’s possible to have one foot in the grid and one foot out and not have your life be a precarious balancing act.

We just have to remember that the internet is an extension of our life, not a substitute. Its purpose, like any other technology, is to make what we do easier and more efficient, not to stifle and demoralize us.

You don’t have to set screen time limitations for yourself, or demonize technology as a whole and commit yourself to live a pre-internet lifestyle.

Simply ask yourself why you use the apps that you do. What parts of them make you feel better, or help you achieve a certain goal? What parts of them don’t you like, that you wish would change so you’d have a better experience?

And after getting the answers to these questions, use them to dictate how you utilize these apps in the future.

Use them to your advantage.

This isn’t a PSA against the dangers of social media, it’s a call to recognize that we’re stronger than we think we are. If you love social media, then by all means continue to use it. But we shouldn’t mistake that love for need, or necessity.

It’s the “social” aspect — the connecting with people in a meaningful and productive way — that’s important, not “media” — constantly mass broadcasting yourself and becoming absorbed in the broadcasts of others.

Hello, fellow wordsmith :). Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed it, here’s another one of my pieces you might enjoy:

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