Humor from the Most Powerful Office in the World
Enjoying the great communicator and his wit
One of the most renowned people in American history, he went from a small town in Illinois to become a radio announcer, a movie star, to the highest office in the land. Between all of this, he was a cheerleader in college, served in the Army during World War II, was president of the Screen Actors Guild, became an FBI informant, and was elected as the Governor of California for two terms.
Less than three months into his first term as president, an assassination attempt was made on his life. He was shot in the chest with the bullet puncturing his lung. He recovered complete and quickly, returning to the White House in less than two weeks.
Born Ronald Wilson Reagan in 1911 in Tampico, Illinois, he lived a very full life. Sadly, later in life at 83 years of age, he was diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s disease. He died in 2004 at the age of 93 in Los Angeles, California.
The quotes available for Reagan are numerous and can cover many subjects. Reagan was often called the great communicator and continues to be known for his sense of humor and wit, on which this article will focus.
Government
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
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“Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem. It isn’t so much that liberals are ignorant. It’s just that they know so many things that aren’t so.”
“Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.”
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“I want you to know that I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”
“One way to make sure crime doesn’t pay would be to let the government run it.”
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“I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”
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“No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth!”
“I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.”
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“Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”
“Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.”
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“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don’t have that problem.”
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.”
Politics
“Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”
“It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.”
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“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.”
“How can a president not be an actor?” -when asked “How could an actor become president?’
General Humor
“I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast.”
“A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.”
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“I hope you’re all Republicans.” Said to the medical team just after the assassination attempt.
“Send me to L.A., where I can see the air I’m breathing.”
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“A tree’s a tree. How many more do you need to look at?” Said at a speech to the Western Wood Association
“It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”
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“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.”
“Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”
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“There are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified as top secret.”
“One picture is worth 1,000 denials.”
Wit
“I’ve always believed that a lot of the trouble in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other.”
“If you’re explaining, you’re losing.”
“Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.”
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“I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.”
“When you can’t make them see the light, make them feel the heat.”
“To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last — but eat you he will.”
“Man is not free unless government is limited.”
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“Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver 5 minutes longer.”
“Here’s my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.”
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“We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much.”
“Status quo, you know, is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in’.”
“It’s hard when you’re up to your armpits in alligators to remember you came here [to Washington] to drain the swamp.”
Should you ever find yourself in Simi Valley, California, you can take the opportunity to visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum. It provides a great look into the life of this amazing American.
Numerous books have been written on Reagan’s life, and you can find many of his writings and speeches on the Reagan Library website.
I leave you with a final Reagan quote with some of his sage advice:
“Never let the things you can’t do stop you from doing what you can.”
Be encouraged, stop to laugh once in a while, and live life to the fullest!
Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION.
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