Humbly Humbled

For good or bad I tend to be an independent person. I frequently don’t ask for help even when needed. I do see a doctor regularly and take care of those things. But when it comes to individual needs I do not often seek help. Many would probably say: “what a confident person”. Because of that, I am not often humbled. But also because of that, the times that I have been humbled are not forgotten.

I have been in the hospital three times in my life. The first time I was about five years old and getting my tonsils removed. I never even had a broken bone casted. I broke my thumb, and a couple toes but never had them set. So at age 54, I found myself driving myself to the hospital with acute pancreatitis. When I got there I was put on a gurney. My feet did not touch the ground for over a month from that day. I, who had been so independent, was fed intravenously, had a catheter, and was bedridden. I didn’t put anything in my mouth except ice chips for over 5 weeks.

One time, when I needed to go for a CAT scan, an incredibly strong orderly picked me up like a baby and put me on a smaller gurney. I am not a small man…Through the long process of getting my body to a point where I could get up, there were complications and a surgery was needed months later. It was over five months that I did not know if I would ever be able to teach again like I always had. I have never been so humbled by anything in my life. I am reminded daily since, from the day I was admitted though I wasn’t before, I am an insulin dependent type one diabetic.

To totally be dependent on care from others is indeed humbling.

Then there are the positive humbling experiences I have had in my life. They are just as powerful but didn’t take as much of a health toll on me thankfully. On a stay in Romania I was babysitting for a friend’s infant son, while she took her older one to the doctor. He was fussy on the couch so I put him on my chest, he fussed for about one minute before he fell asleep. I could not believe how humbling it was to be able to have him sleep. I didn’t move until mom got back, afraid to wake him.

The wonders of nature never stop humbling me, to look up at a clear star filled night where there is little light pollution from cities or such, will make anyone believe in God. To look at a river cutting through mountains making a canyon, the power that water could do that on its own, water moving mountains, truly humbling. Mountains, waterfalls, crashing waves, the amazing beauty of a thunderstorm, or so many other acts of nature, how can anyone not be humbled by that amazement.

One of the simple things of life that I was constantly humbled by is how a dog can rest their head on your lap and be so calm and at peace. How they can do that and in moments be peacefully sleeping, knowing their world is under control because you make them feel safe. How can we not be humbled by that?

Finally, from my teaching career there have been many, from genuine thanks for doing my job, to changing someone’s life in a positive way. That indeed is humbling. But I want to give you one specific example.

I had a number of rules in my classroom. I endeavored to make my classroom a safe place for all students. The rule I am referring to was, I thought, simple. I told each of my classes that if anyone of them walked into my room mad at the world, angry, and/or yelling, that I would ask them if I or anyone in the room caused that to happen. If the answer was no, I asked them to take a time out from that anger until my class was over.

I also told them that if I acted like that in class, any of them could raise their hand and ask if the class caused that. If my answer was no, they could ask me to take a time out from my anger and teach my class like it should be taught. One day, I do not remember why, I was in a bad mood. I was not sure it was noticed and I didn’t deliberately try to take it out on the class. One of my shyest students raised their hand. I asked if they had a question.

I heard “Mr. Meka did we do anything to cause your bad mood?” I looked at my class and said “No”. The next thing I heard was, “Mr. Meka please give your mood a time out and teach our class like you normally do”. My mood instantly changed.

I thanked the student for their bravery. I had a great class and a great rest of the day.