Human Baubles
A crash course in nightclub economics
My older daughter has taken partying hard to new heights since turning twenty. While doing parental taxi duties I sometimes glean an insight into that world.
— I spent so much money in Hertford last night — Good job you didn’t go to London, then — I never spend a penny in London, it’s all free
How can it be that a sleepy county town can be more expensive than the glitz and glamor of the capital? Bit by bit, the picture emerges.
There is nothing a nightclub owner fears more than an empty club. Unfortunately, that condition is self-reinforcing. If a group of revelers, who might have spent freely throughout the night, turns up to an empty room, they aren’t going to stick around for long.
If you are at the top end of the London nightclub market, targeting Prince Wossname, Lord Bufton-Tufton and Sheikh Yamani, the self-appointed playboys of the Western World, they are equally unlikely to spend time with you if your club is full of their male peers.
Enter the promoters, who will be paid handsomely by the clubs to round up attractive young ladies from a wide radius around London to provide visual “atmosphere” to any event or club night.
Around the middle of the week the promoters will start doing the rounds on Instagram, messaging said young ladies to offer them and their visually appealing female friends the chance of a private table at the weekend’s entertainment.
Boyfriends are not welcome. The aim is to balance the numbers of likely high-spending male patrons with younger eye candy, who will of course not be expected to dip into their own pockets at any time.
Sometimes the demand is so high that additional temptations are added in. A dinner in a nice restaurant before heading to the club. Or a free taxi home.
The arrangement seems to work for everyone. The club owner has a balanced crowd and a happy paying clientele. The promoter takes his cut, and the girls get a free evening out. I’m not sure who, if anyone, is being exploited.
But I get queasy at the thought of my daughter (or anyone’s daughter) being effectively rented by the hour in this way, for no recompense apart from a few drinks, a glitzy environment and a free ride home.
Is this a gateway gambit to the commoditization of more than just their agreeable presence? I’m told that the boundaries are clear, and enforced by the security staff, the promoters and the girls themselves.
But, on the whole, I think I would be happier if she paid her own way in Hertford
Thanks for reading!
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