How You Can Stop The Mess Behind The Mess
As my wife and I worked this summer to get our house on the market, I kept noticing a particular pattern showing up. For instance, as we would work in the garden, we’d finish transforming one specific area only to notice the section behind it was a disaster. Now you might think that we couldn’t see the other section, but in fact, it was completely visible to us the whole time, and yet you’re right, we couldn’t see it. Our eyes couldn’t focus on it until the area before it was put together. It’s like we were blind to it. This happened again and again. Then it started happening as we tackled room after room in our house.
How Deep Did It Go?
What was this pattern of being blind to things that were right in front of us? How pervasive was this phenomenon in our lives? Where else did it exist? Did we really want to know the answer to that question? As a life coach, I started realizing that this is the pattern most of us go through as we begin to examine our own lives. You start off trying to adjust, fix or change a particular area of your life, and then, just when you think you have it all figured out, you begin to see the other areas that need help. Up until that point, your focus had been so keenly transfixed on the problem area that you weren’t even aware you were lacking elsewhere.
So Now What?
So you have options. Number one, just forget the whole observation and be happy you fixed one area of your life. No need to dig further. What if you actually find something that desperately needs your attention? Some of you may take door number one and quit there. Whatever floats your boat. That may be enough for now.
What’s Under That?
However, let me suggest you look into option two, which is to ask yourself, “What’s under that?” It’s an easy enough question. If I decide that this is the area in my life that I need to fix, then instead of getting so micro-focused and diving in head-first, I take a moment and look at what might be supporting that issue. What is the foundation of that problem? And you may need to ask “What’s under that” more than once.
Sometimes we’ve buried the real issue so deep that it takes some digging to get to the root of it. That’s right, just like a belligerent weed in our garden, our problem areas need to be coaxed out and slowly removed. Giving it a quick yank results in the root breaking off, and that issue is right back in your life.
The Root Issue
If you can get to the root issue and work on changing it, you’ll start to see the messes or problems eventually become less and less. But it takes dedicated time to sit down and thoroughly examine the issue. For example, one of our biggest problems is keeping our house clean and organized. Just diving in and cleaning like a mad person every day is one solution. But when I sit down and think through the issue, I can see that we use far too many dishes, and we don’t immediately clean them and put them away. This little observation, along with the necessary action, would make a dramatic difference in keeping our house clean and organized and keeping us sane.
Evaluate The Situation
If you’re tired of finding the mess behind the mess, and you feel like all you do is tackle the same problems day after day, or week after week, then sit down and evaluate the situation. This works for personal, business, or relationship issues. Pretty much any area in life where you’re struggling.
Team Effort
Oh, and by the way, saying your spouse is the problem isn’t the solution. That’s when you need to go deeper and find the root issue. Make it a team effort, and you’re more likely to get buy-in from that other person. Then as a team, you can address the issue.
Areas To Explore
Here are a few of the top areas that often need a more profound look when it comes to your life: relationships, health, career, love life, finances, spiritual development, fun and recreation, friends, family, and physical environment, to name a few. You can expand on this list or drill down into each category and take an honest inventory. Don’t forget to repeatedly ask yourself, “what’s under that?” You often will be surprised or even shocked at the answers that surface. This means you’re starting to get to the root of the problem and the solution.
