How You Can Romanticize Life When Life Is Not Really Romantic to You; The People Who Don’t Fit In

It’s so easy to romanticize your life when you are living in the city of your dreams, working in a company you love, and having your loved ones around, right?

But what about the rest of us? People who are still figuring out what to do with life or how to find joy when they can barely get ends meet?

Well, that’s where the real challenge begins: the roller coaster of life. Life is I guess nothing but a collection of days. Looking at life as a mere collection of ‘one day at a time’ is way easier than looking at a bigger picture where we cannot find our correct place to fit in.

And one day at a time is like you just have TODAY to live what’s called life. Understanding this simple concept helped me live more intentionally in the current moment. Watching a video on youtube about how people are romanticizing their life by baking for themselves, buying expensive flowers, or wearing Gucci is like subconsciously creating expectations for yourself. We expect that if we follow the given hacks/techniques, our lives can become aesthetic and dreamy as well.

But here is a reality check. You and I are normal people who haven’t figured out what life can offer us to deal with in the next moment. Some people have the responsibility to take care of their children while others have to work 9–5 so they can pay their bills. Life is not a fairytale for all. Some people don’t have any responsibility but they are struggling to find their ‘good place’ in the world so they can feel passionate.

Talking about myself, although everything is going well in my life for now but my fight with myself often brings me to a point when I don’t want to do anything but gaze at the sky to find the traces of clarity of mind hidden behind the heavy clouds.

So, I often wonder, is romanticizing life for everyone or just for the selected people who seem to have figured out life?

As it turns out, I have experimented a lot with my day-to-day routine and rituals to see, and here is what I understood:

1. Something For Your Heart:

I am at that stage of my life where I am neither dreaming nor have I reached my destination. I am a girl in her early 20s who is on the way to achieving her goals. Which often creates self-doubt in my mind about whether I will be able to achieve what I dreamt of or if will it all be a waste of time. Hence, most of my days are either working on my goals and feeling happy or doubting myself and feeling anxious. Though what I have come to realize is that destination is a one-time achievement but the process should be a fairyland so we can feel happy every day.

Romanticizing life doesn’t mean living the life of your dreams but it’s about building a life that has something for your heart every day. If you wait for one final day to be happy, you shall burn yourself out and by the time you reach your destination, you wouldn’t have any energy or any person you love to celebrate your win.

On the other hand, if you consciously choose to design your day-to-day life like your dream life, you will have something to cherish every single day. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. It just has to have something that makes your heart happy. Something that you can look forward to every day.

For example; To me, no matter how hard my day was, I look forward to sharing a cup of tea with my mom and gossiping. It gives me so much happiness when I tell my mom everything I am up to and when she shares what she feels.

Now, when I am living 9 hours drive (just for 15 days) away from her, I go to a nearby park most days to sit and observe the people. It’s a famous place so even tourists come here and seeing them clicking pictures and doing the touristy stuff is a joy to me.

So, let me say it again. You need to take a pause to consciously decide what is it that you would want to do that can make you feel good at this moment. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you. Some days when I feel really low, I just start watching my favorite Christmas movie on Netflix with a cup of cold coffee. That’s how I feel good.

Just as you make a long to-do list to achieve your professional goals, you should schedule at least one thing, however small, for your heart. It would be your way of slowing down and telling yourself that YOU MATTER and YOUR HAPPINESS IS ALSO A PRIORITY TO YOU.

2. Slow Down for the Small Moments:

Sometimes taking things slow is the real shortcut. I often see people working so much so that they can win the race that we all are running for the prize that is vague to all.

Though what I have realized is that, the memories that support our heart health is made up of small moments that only you could notice. Maybe how a complete stranger helped you or how your friends surprised you on your birthday or how your mother cooks your favorite meal often or how your father asks how you are doing with that fatherly love in his voice.

It’s taking things slow and romanticizing the small moments that sink with your intentions. It’s about slowing down to witness the sweetness of little random things rather than just chasing and working for more and better. It’s about connecting back to your present moment and bringing yourself to the beauty of how you do things.

When your intention is to find the hidden traces of joy in your day-to-day life, life starts romanticizing you.

It’s about finding joy in small things even when nothing seems to work out. It’s the strong fragrance of your morning coffee. It’s about how you water your plants and nurture nature. It’s about how you find ordinary things extraordinary with your awareness. Anything that you do with your mind and heart in one place, you automatically enjoy it. It’s about taking efforts to look for those small magical moments that make you want to live a little longer in the moment.

3. Start Your Day Intentionally:

Robin Sharma said in his book, The 5 A.M. Club ‘how you spend the first in the morning decides the functioning of your entire day’

Now although, I start my morning by wishing I could sleep a little more but I never get out of my bad in hurry. After I open my eyes, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to experience yet another beautiful day. This way you can acknowledge that you have limited time yet you are grateful for it. Then I stay in bed a little longer just to feel the warmth and coziness of my blanket. That to me is another kind of joy.

After that, I make my bed, shower, and eat my breakfast while my favorite songs accompany me. I think starting your day with the music of your choice can be such a great way to put you in good mood. In the hustle of getting better, we have forgotten how to listen to ourselves let alone listen to music. However, what I do these days is start the day with my playlist that makes me happy. I don’t just listen to it but also dance along. Dancing while brushing. Dancing while bathing. It’s just how you turn the monotonous things enjoyable.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed with my work or internal emotions, I take a pause and put everything on hold. Then I make a cup of coffee while playing soft music. Smelling the coffee often, it feels warm. Then I just sit on my balcony with my coffee and read. I just enjoy this whole vibe of reading and sipping coffee like I am a character from my favorite book who loves to be with herself.

4. Take 5 Extra Minutes to Look Good:

I don’t know about anyone else but whenever I wear a dress that I adore, I start adoring myself. And I feel as if today is important.

But the problem is most of us keep our best dresses locked in wardrobes to wear on special occasions. So, does that mean today is not special?

I would suggest you wear the dress that you have kept safe for some future special occasion and take an extra 5 minutes to change your look: We work so hard and then we buy cute expensive clothes just to lock them in our wardrobe. How sad are we?

But romanticizing life is about finding joy in the present moment. So, take out your favorite dress and celebrate TODAY. Dressing up nicely can alter your mood and make you instantly feel better.

Conclusion:

I live with my parents and I love it. I know people might call it so old-fashioned or being dependent but I love cracking jokes with my mom and listening to my father’s lessons from his old days. I am perfectly capable of providing for myself but love is what only they can provide me. Sometimes, it does get tough because at times I just want to be alone or live in some big city alone as what we see in movies. And I guess it’s very natural to want to have better. But what’s important is to not let your desires for the uncertain future rob you of what you have at the moment.

Romanticizing life I guess means only — accepting things as they are and finding sweetness in everything for its true nature.

With that being said, I will leave you to learn to find joy in little things. It’s a learning process and it shall never end for life is going to be a roller coaster. It’s you who needs to loosen your grip on certainty and perfection and really start enjoying what the present moment holds for you.