How You Can Make Panzanella with Stale Sourdough
5 Easy Steps to Success

- Bake sourdough, as described elsewhere.
- Have too much sourdough lying around the house until your partner is complaining about bread bloat. Let it sit in its paper bag until it’s stale and hard as a rock.
- Frantically search the internet for how to revitalize stale bread. Many YouTube videos show running tap water over it and letting it bake on the rack for about 8 minutes at 325 degrees. You do that and you’re surprised when it works.
- Take the loaf out and let it cool for a minute. Try to cut the bread with a serrated knife then give up, realizing that the blade has dulled. Rip the loaf in half with your bare hands. Slightly satisfied at the surfacing primal urges, tear the halves apart into thick, uneven chunks, letting them scatter all across your cutting board. Rip the crust open, shred it into little teeny tiny pieces of brown fodder. Pick up the bread chunks again and pull them apart some more, unleashing every bit of your pent-up fury at the world, your anger about everything that’s going on, your grief of simply being. Your partner finds you sobbing into the breadcrumbs but you resist her help. You insist on brushing all the torn up bread into a bowl. Some of them are still big enough for panzanella; the rest can be dried and pulsed into breadcrumbs. No bread left behind. You make a vinaigrette of red wine vinegar and olive oil, chop some beautiful heirloom tomatoes, and let all their juices merge with the dressing. You slice some baby cucumbers and red onion. Mozzarella pearls? Why not? You add the bread chunks to the salad and toss everything together and let it all sit, about half an hour, until the bread has soaked up the juice but the crust still has some crunch.
- You sit down to lunch.

Enjoy your rage-fueled creation!
And if you would like to watch 11 minutes of me stretching dough, it’s basically a meditation to relieve the above stress. It’s ASMR.






