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How You Can Embrace Change Easier As You Part Ways For Growth

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Do you notice when you transition in your life

Subtle changes happen quicker than we realize. Can you feel those close to you fade away? Remember, it’s not your fault. We’re sad when we see they will no longer be with us. Why does it have to happen? Will they come back? On occasion, they’ll swing back onto your path as you go along. Think of your children when they leave home.

Change is the only constant.

~ Herculitus

If you pay attention, you’ll see changes as they occur. You have habits that let you recognize them. Even though you don’t know the details.

I’ve been through enough change that I now recognize it. Not right at the start, but there are signs I see. I’ll be in the middle of a task and notice how I tell others where I’ve put things they may need. I become more driven as I impart information.

I was tidying up boxes in the basement with my daughter one day. I told her where all the Christmas decorations were. I left her dad six weeks later.

At work, I send my coworkers my excel files they’ll need for tasks. In late October, I informed them, as I shared my files, I would be gone in six weeks. They said no way! “Where are you going?”, they asked. I did not know. I only sensed I’d be gone. I finished work on December 8th, went home, got sick, and then retired.

By the time I notice these changes, I understand that my window of change closes in six weeks. I will warn my close ones at this point. Some go into denial and wave it off. They say I’m absurd. What can I say, I know my reality.

I’ve seen it in my subconscious, too. How? I have dreams of being somewhere and my arrival is too late to see them. It’s with sadness, to know our journey along this path together will end. We don’t have to be sorry when we expand ourselves.

We all need to grow, or not. I see those who stunt their growth if they refuse to grow. They become embittered as they fight progress. This is why you see cantankerous women and men. Their lives go from not too bad to wrecks. They become gnarled up by disease and hatefulness. It’s all a matter of choice how hard we make it for ourselves. The change will happen.

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There are many ways to resist growth. What do you find others do? Do they strike out at you and lay the blame on your feet? Or do they see your need to move on? Either way, it will happen with the hope you can remain friends.

I’ve had both. One friend shamed me, but it only severed the ties completely. I felt horrible, and it wasn’t fair. It was an unfortunate circumstance. It surprised me, but it happens. I choose not to be too judgemental, or to live with regrets. Change occurs all the time.

Most friends understand and recognize what has happened. I want to say true friends let you go where you need to, but that’s unfair to those who can’t let you go. My belief is they’re fearful when they can’t, or don’t want to carry on without you.

I won’t allow myself to be stuck somewhere where I can’t grow into myself. By the same token, I don’t want others to feel guilty and beholden to me.

Like I tell my children, go where you have to go for you. If you don’t contact me every day, don’t worry. Don’t feel guilty for living your life. No matter where you are in this world, I can blow a kiss across the sky each night to you. There are no borders there. If you don’t take my call, I understand there are other things in your life. You’ll contact me when you can. I never want them to feel bad for their growth. I understand no matter what is occurring when I call or text they’ve spent a moment thinking about me.

Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash

I try to be fair. It doesn’t always work, but these are the points I remember as I grow.

  • I’ve learnt the only one you can ever be with throughout your life is yourself.
  • Be a friend to yourself when it’s time for a change.
  • Go with the flow and embrace it.
  • Don’t guilt-trip others on their path. Change is hard enough for us, too.
  • Don’t live with regrets, you can’t change the past.
  • Move forward.

It doesn’t always mean we leave others behind, but sometimes it does.

Growth
Transitions
Relationships
Community
Change
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