How Would You Like Your Funeral To Be?

Plans for your funeral should be at the top of your will

In middle school, I took some biology classes. I didn’t take the classes because I loved biology so much, no! The biology classes were compulsory, so I didn’t have a choice.

In the first biology class I attended, the teacher — Mr. Ekpe — introduced the course, and made us introduce ourselves to each other — you know, the whole ‘let’s get to know each other routine’. After we were done exchanging pleasantries, Mr. Ekpe picked up a partially used chalk and turned to the blackboard just in front of the class, on which he boldly wrote the topic of the day’s lecture. As he wrote on the blackboard, the chalk made a screeching sound so loud it made my ears bleed.

The class that day was about living organisms. Mr. Ekpe excitedly explained to us the characteristics of living things and what differentiates living organisms from non-living objects. To make us remember the characteristics of living things, Mr. Ekpe gave us the ultimate acronym, an acronym that has stuck with me from the moment it left Mr. Ekpe’s lips; MR NIGER D.

Anyone who grew up in Nigeria would remember very well MR NIGER D. Just like my school, it was like a staple food; popular in every introductory biology class around the country. In a nutshell, MR NIGER D explains that there are 8 features that every living organism must possess. M represents Movement; R represents Respiration; N represents Nutrition; I represents Irritability; G represents Growth; E represents Excretion; R represents Reproduction; and D represents Death.

As a kid, it struck my young innocent mind to see death included as a characteristic of every living organism. To my young mind, the concept of death as a defining feature of life was somewhat absurd. Yes, absurd at first. But slowly, I began to appreciate the significance and inevitability of death.

Everybody dies; this is a reality that we all have come to accept. Despite our technological advancements, we still have no control over the death process or how we cross over to the great beyond. Any wise person would advise you to stop fretting over how you’d die because it’s out of your control. But there is something that you can fret about, something that is well within the realm of your control; your funeral.

Your life story doesn’t really stop after you die. After death, there is a whole parade that is done in your name. Irrespective of how you’ve lived your life or how many Instagram likes you were able to accumulate in your lifetime, at your funeral, you become the centre of attraction, the reason for the event. Something magical also happens that day. There is an unwritten rule that everybody who dies becomes a good person at their funeral. It doesn’t matter how badly you treated others, how mean you were, or all the wicked stuff you did while alive. At your funeral, nobody is allowed to say anything bad about you. On the contrary, everybody loves you, dotes on you, and says nice things in their eulogy. This is the beautiful thing about funerals, apart from the food.

If you are one of the billions of Earth citizens who hasn’t given much thought to their funeral, the wise course of action would be for you to make a solid plan on how you would like your send-forth party from Earth to be. Since you can’t control when or how you die, why not control the things you can? At least, you’d get to pick a nice picture for your own send-forth party, decide who comes, who gets to make a speech, the kind of speeches they make, and what they wear to your party. Pre-planning your funeral even gives you a chance to decide what happens to your body when you die. According to a website called Marie Curie, here are a few things to consider in relation to your funeral.

· Who will be responsible for making sure everything is in order at your funeral? — a sort of master of ceremony if you like.

· Do you want to be cremated or you prefer to be put in a box and dumped 6 feet below, the good old way?

· How would you want your body to be prepared for burial or cremation?

· Which of your friends, family, and well-wishers should be invited?

· What kind of music would you like to be played?

· What should be the dress code?

· How would the cost of your funeral be paid for?

There are many reasons people pre-plan their funeral before their death. For some people, it’s the desire to save their family and friends the stress of having to organize an event while in the period of mourning. For others, it’s their desire for perfection. They feel that they are best placed to organize a befitting funeral for themselves because ‘you know yourself better than anybody’. Or maybe for you, it’s your desire to send a message. You want your funeral to be a statement to the people you left behind, a clear message of your ideological leanings, your environmental philosophy, your religious/spiritual beliefs, or your wealth; and of course, who better to plan your statement funeral than yourself?

Making plans for your funeral while you are still alive and healthy might seem strange to you. However, nothing can be more selfish than not making those funeral plans, and leaving everything in the hands of your family. Because talking about one’s death is a difficult conversation, it is more convenient not to bother about what happens to you after your death. By doing this, however, you are saddling those you care about with the very difficult task of having to deal with the aftermath of your death, at a time when they are at their most vulnerable and hurt.

You are used to the exhortation ‘take charge of your life’. While you take charge of your life, trying to maintain steady growth and develop into a better version of yourself, do not neglect to take charge of your death. After all, death is an unavoidable part of life.