What Would Cats Do If They Could Talk?

Surely they won’t…

We often wonder what our pets think. What goes around in our cats’ minds

What if our cats, their minds, were put inside a human body? (Please don’t do this, Elon)

We have two cats, you know Speedy, the other one is called Sky. She really is the personification of the ‘Queen of Cats’ and perhaps of every living organism.

Sky is the type of cat that refuses to drink out of a bowl and needs a fancy glass of water.

That’s sky.

Sky is also the kind of cat that will murder you in your sleep after you’ve given her too little treats. And she’ll like it too, she will watch you suffer with every fiver in her feline body.

What Would They Tell Us?

Cats would probably tell us everything about us that they hate.

They’re mean, but at least they’re honest. Cats also don’t care about your feelings — they understand, but they choose to not care.

Speedy is kind of scared of men, she always runs away when she sees me — me on the other hand like to walk towards her to pet her. I love Speedy and I love petting her.

She’s a big, fluffy ball of cat.

Cuddling such a big ball of fur feels great, for me at least. She probably doesn’t like it.

If Speedy could talk, she’d probably tell me to f*ck off and bore someone else with my cuddles.

What Would I Do If I Were A Cat

We’ve been talking about what cats would do if they could talk, but what if we were inside a cat’s body? I’d have the time of my life, I think.

Wandering around the streets all day, getting petted by everybody that walks around. (They should, at least)

Going anywhere where I want to go without any obstacles because then I’d be able to jump over everything — cats are such athletic creatures.

But Sky is old, so she doesn’t jump a lot anymore, and when she does, she tends to fall or stomp a bit — she used to jump over high fences.

We’d go on mysterious adventures and live in trees.

But Cats Don’t Talk

Cats don’t talk, they never will, and they probably never want to — they prefer to make annoying noises (Speedy) and ignore us whenever they want to.

That’s just the cat life.

And I’m okay with that, cats are lovely and cute the way there are, and I’d never want them to change.

So, have a cat.