How Would a Child Practiced in Meditation Perform in The Marshmallow Test
A surprising answer to a surprising question
I’m sure you’ve heard about the marshmallow test:
It was a study performed in the late 60s at the university of Stanford University. Kids ranging from 4 to 6 years were given a choice. Either have a marshmallow now or wait for 15 minutes to have 2.
7 out of 10 children gave in immediately. The rest handled the stress and were rewarded with 2 marshmallows.
Now the interesting part about the study was the following. Those who managed to wait for 2 marshmallows were more successful later in their life. Their power of will or ability to delay gratification transferred to the rest of their lives and made them achieve more.
What did the children do during the experiment? They distracted themselves by closing their eyes, pulling their hair, turning away, smelling and caressing the treats, but not eating them. Some of this sounds quite familiar to me writing this newsletter.
Now the question is:
What would those children have done if they knew how to meditate?
They wouldn’t even have needed to distract themselves.
They would have welcomed the temptation. It would have been a training ground for mastering their desires. Maybe they would have even asked for more than 15 minutes just to prove themselves. And when the time was over? They would have walked away without even taking a marshmallow. Probably they would have snacked the salad they had taken with them.
I’m kidding.
The goal of meditation is not to destroy any desire within you. Desires to have a meaningful life, to connect with others, to feed yourself, and to serve others around. They can motivate you and show you a place to go. The problem arises when desires take you over. When they cloud your vision and blind you to all else. When they make you decide in ways that are unhelpful or damaging.
The marshmallow test is the best example of this. If we blindly give in to our desire we get the bad deal. We can get more by having desires and not letting them roam free. The way to move ahead is to accept and guide desires, not to banish them at all costs. Meditation helps us with this. It doesn’t make us immune to desires or absolve us of their pull. It gives us a more dignified way of living with desires than pulling our hair.
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