How White People Hide Their Bigotry with Humor and “Neutrality”

Deciphering the coded language of white privilege

Disclosure: I have been guilty of my anger at injustices causing me to speak over the voices of those directly affected before, so I want to ensure I don’t do that again. I might still write it up, but follow up by seeking feedback from my BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ friends and sharing an updated version at a later date as a reminder that allyship is year-round.

Everyone knows someone who likes to say “I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.” As if hate is acceptable so long as it isn’t focused on a specific group. “It’s OK, guys, my racism is inclusive.”

Let’s dive deeper into the “hating everyone equally” phenomenon — the ultimate min-maxing of bigotry, as if there’s a high score for being an equal-opportunity hater. It’s like these folks are striving to be the Grand Wizard of Indifference. Congratulations, you hate everyone in equal measure; here’s your gold star for being a bigot to people of all colors. I can almost picture it — the Avatar of Racism, proudly adorned with a rainbow of disdain for every shade of humanity.

Now, this peculiar fascination with hating everyone equally seems to be a pastime predominantly enjoyed by a certain demographic — white men of a particular age. It’s a phrase that echoes in the halls of privilege, where the intricacies of diverse experiences are flattened into a monochromatic “whites are just white” mentality. It’s a bit like saying, “I don’t see color,” which is usually code for “I’m choosing to ignore the struggles others face.”

And then there’s the “dark humor” enthusiasts. Claiming to enjoy dark humor is often a thinly veiled admission of a cushy life where the pain of others is merely an amusement park ride. “I’m not racist or homophobic, I just like dark humor.” Translation: “My existence is so privileged that I find amusement in the suffering of others.”

Dark humor, more often than not, punches down — it normalizes and desensitizes us to the pain of marginalized groups. Other times it’s used in the context of edginess where they will make the offensive joke to see if anyone agrees with them by laughing. If people don’t, they use the excuse that “you just don’t get it.”

The neutrality game is another classic maneuver. Being “neutral” always means siding with the oppressor. It’s a cop-out, a way of avoiding responsibility and conveniently sitting on the fence while the oppressed fight for their rights. This “misanthropic neutrality” is akin to saying, “I’d rather not take a side; I’m just here to watch the world burn.” But let’s be real — inaction is an endorsement of the status quo, a passive nod to injustice.

I said this when I watched people hem and haw about protest tactics during the democracy riots in Hong Kong. It was true when people criticized MLK. I think misanthropy is much the same. It’s a way to offload responsibility and “not take a side”, but ultimately, that’s always tacit approval of oppression.

Corporate America has mastered the art of deflecting responsibility onto the masses. Advertising campaigns made it seem like recycling was a moral imperative for the individual in order to save the planet, and while everyone should absolutely be reducing waste, the vast majority of waste going into landfills is corporate excess, as is the majority of fossil fuel pollution. It’s a classic move — make the common folk shoulder the blame while the big players continue their destructive dance.

So, here we are, manipulated into blaming each other for the world’s problems. It’s a divide-and-conquer strategy that keeps us bickering while the real culprits escape scrutiny. We’re not absolved of responsibility, but let’s not forget who’s been pulling the strings and orchestrating this blame game for far too long.

If you, a white person, think hiding your racism behind dark humor is OK, then you have some goddamn work to do. And if you think hiding behind neutrality to avoid discomfort is the answer, you’re part of the problem. Sitting in that discomfort is necessary.

ETA: I mean sitting in the discomfort of white guilt

When racism as a stance is comfortable for the majority, change will not precipitate. Whether it’s an “edgy” meme, feigned neutrality or “bringing equality to racism by hating everyone equally,” we must call out these behaviors and hold the people hiding behind them accountable.